Tuesday, August 28, 2007

The one with free movie tickets

Thats the trailer, tis 15's and we have shed loads of tickets, for a special preview screening, to be given away tonight and for the rest of the week.

Monday, August 27, 2007

The one about Flat Pack Furniture - Bastard!!!!

When one buys a house, there is always immense panic to do the whole thing up in the quickest time possible. Its scenarios like this that lead to demented colors, couches and the obligatory 15 candles in each room being purchased. First and foremost, candles are so 2001. Secondly, I did not adopt this attitude with one of our bedrooms. 3 years later we finally got around to sorting it out, last weekend. Its a minimal room, no clutter, just a wardrobe, a bed and 2 lockers. Oh yeah, theres carpet and paint in it as well. Upon ordering said furniture, we were told it would take up to a month. A month, for 4 items. Its not as if wardrobe was made from ivory and we were waiting on a few poachers to gun down a herd of elephants, or anything. So, true to their word, all furniture arrived last Friday. A mass selection of boxes were promptly dropped in my hall and with a quick "Sign there bud will ya" the delivery men were gone. Not even an offer of "Where dya want it...bud?". I suppose my lack of tea and biscuit offerings prompted them to make a hasty exit, either that or it must have been an insurance issue.

My Dad had been forewarned of the impending delivery and as Dads do, offered to help out. I'm sure now, he's regretting it! He arrived around 3.30 and we set to work. It took 40 minutes to get the drawer slider things attached to one of the wardrobe panels. Not because we were awkward or anything, but the bastard in the manufacturing hut decided to delicately mark out where they were supposed to go. What I should have typed in place of delicately, was invisible to the naked eye. Between the gigs and the reels and six odd hours of grunting, swearing and t-shirt changes we managed to get the wardrobe and the bed together. In a nutshell, the instructions were straight forward, but an entire lack of part labeling meant a lot of our time was spent starting at vast amounts of cheap wood, looking for holes that just weren't there.

I headed off for Club Light around 10.20 and returned home exhausted, around 3.20am. Staring at the room and the unmade bed drawers, the sweltering heat and a manly selection of tools, I stripped off. Now ladies and gay men, settle down. I stayed in the oul boxers and went to work on getting the drawers made up. Near nude DIY isn't half as bad as it sounds. Just be careful of the screwdrivers and sharp objects, and remember the elastic part of your jocks is not a tool belt, where you can stuff things like Stanley knives.

Photographers impression of Vic working late into the night

On a final note, heres a piece of advice for any budding entrepreneurs. Start up a business that goes around assembling flat pack furniture for people! Charge a reasonable rate and your off. I'm not saying that I would use such a service as I quite enjoy late night, near nude flat pack assembly sessions!

Finally (again) all flat pack furniture should be stuffed into a rocket and launched off into space. As for the manufactures who cant be arsed labeling it properly and leaving near invisible markings, you should all be shot!

The one with a few oul pickchures and not much else

Yes, I know its early. The following have been lying around in the new phone for the last while, so I may as well stick em up here. Incidentally, if your reading this during work, fair play. I mean get back to work! There is a possibility of another update later on. If that happens, be prepared for the river lee to dry up, fire and brimstone and cheaper petrol.

Biblo, Gus and Gers leg!

Show prep

Club Light, Mallow

Thursday, August 23, 2007

The one with a Fish Tank!

Dont forget, later on our Fishy tales giveaway, with Sully's Pet shop, Cornmarket Street comes to an end with a self cleaning Aquarium up for grabs to one lucky listener. There may even be another chance to squeeze into the final!!!

A huge response to the Turban topic last night on the show, with over 70% of listeners voting YES, to the fact that the Gardai should be allowed to ban religious head gear as part of the standard issue uniform. Like anything, theres 2 sides to this tale. For a Sikh to be a member of the force they have to remove the Turban, but their religion forbids them to do this. So, as it stands if a Sikh wants to be a Guard, they cant. On the other side of the coin, the Gardai are making the point that there in line with the National Racism Plan. They say its a standard issue uniform and thats that more or less. Then on the third side of my magical three sided coin, its been done for years in the UK, parts of the US, Malaysia and so on. Maybe its something, in time that will evolve over here, who knows. The one thing that did shock me to a certain extent is the amount of texts and callers which kept using the words, They and Them. They come over here, They abide by the rules etc.etc. Theres still a large amount of dislike for Foreign Nationals coming to Ireland. The usual bullshit of "They take or jobs and our woman" crops up on a daily and nightly basis. The jobs that the Irish dont actually want, the jobs that the Irish think are beneath them. Right. The woman that are being stolen off Irish men, maybe if some of the Irish blokes visited a shower more than once a week, went off a bought a can of Lynx and actually used it and actually had some personality then maybe the woman wouldnt be stolen by "Them". Gimme a break! Some others were roaring about history. None of us live in history, we create history and a certain percentage of cowards use history as an excuse to hold up progress and thats one of the reasons this country is behind the times. Many parts of history include fellas rampaging around the place swinging sacks of spuds, but they bate each other around the place, for what they believed was right to move the country forward.

Some people took issue with one of my comments last night about how I almost prefer to get served in a shop by someone thats a Foreign National. At times, yeah, tis true. Sure, there are plenty of staff that cant speak proper English, but there are plenty of Irish that cant seem to speak it either. Well unless a few grunts rates as English!

Tonight, a brand new feature kicks off on the show, called Sexually Speaking. Basically, Anne Sexton from Hotpress will be on the phone taking YOUR calls about all things sexual. So if your looking to spice up your sex life, spice it down or even want to know how to swing off a chandelier than Anne, will be on air with my goodself at 11:15.

Monday, August 20, 2007

The one with Stag, Boar and Ostrich

I wont begin by moaning about the weather, as the sun is shining. But I will moan and possibly praise other things.

The Cobh regatta was on during the weekend, and thankfully the whole thing wasnt washed out, for a change. I took a stroll in there on Friday and was astonished at the amount of cool stalls peddling all kinds of goodies on the side of the road. At first, I thought it was the usual farmers market in Cobh, which to be bluntly honest isnt exactly mind blowing. But no, aload of Italians and French had set up stalls, well either they were genuine French and Italians or just a few locals putting on the oul Mama Mia accent for a bet. One of the stalls was flogging various tops of sausages, from Stag to Boar to, yes you've guessed it, Ostrich. Thankfully there were more than enough free samples floating around, to keep the American tourists happy and even for a hungry individual like meself. Boar, weird taste. Stag tasted like dog shit actually. Well, its about as close to dog shit flavor as I can imagine. As for the Ostrich, well it was a bit tough, which is surprising for a bird that spends most of its day with its head stuck in the sand. Contrary to what The Discovery channel will tell you about its super acceleration and all that.

Theres a new health kick after kicking in...again. Who knows how long this one will last, but heres hoping it should last longer than the last one. Last Thursday night was more or less the first visit to the land of healthier eating and it took great strength and willpower not to wander into Hillbillies after the show. That said, the wise words of Karl Spain did spring into my head, after I got home. Have the Breast n A Bun and not the chips. One or the other. Very wise words indeed, almost Jedi like. Come to think of it, I'd swear Yoda has hollered out those from time to time, or something similar.
"Breast N a Bun or Chips Luke. You must chose, one or the other..hehehe. There is no try, for if two consume you do, then to the CUH....lead you to it, it will.!

On another note, maybe somebody reading might be able to explain the extremely common occurrence of young males wearing baseball caps, pointed almost 90 degrees off their little shaved heads. Initially, I thought this was a public service, organized by Nasa or the European Space Agency. Given the recent shenanigans with the Space Station etc.etc. I originally thought that these near vertical baseball caps were pointing to the location of the ISS. Obviously I was wrong! Where do the various scobes get their fashion sense? Is there a magazine out there that instructs them on what degree its best to tilt their hat at. Or have they come up with it, all by their lickle selves. Maybe its a Celtic thing? As most of these near vertical hat wearers are donned out in a Celtic jersey. Chances are they don't even know who, or what Celtic are. For all they know it could be the latest Fashion designer!

T-shirt by Celtic €49.99, but your parents got a knock off for a fiver, in Santa Ponza
Tracksuit bottoms by Nike €19.99
Runners by HiTec €14.99

Hat blown off your thick head because you think tis daycent to wear it at an acute angle, by a gust of wind - Priceless!!!

On a final note, for those of you who didnt believe that actually WAS James Blunt last night...heres the proof. Blunt is the Red hairy guy!

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

The one that needed an edit, because I forgot the title

Another absolute miserable day. Hang on, its brightening, whats the point at this stage. Things have been pretty busyish of late with PPI entries being sorted out and the likes, so thats the excuse for the lack of updates!

I was inundated with calls and texts from people last night giving out about Cork city center. Those of you living in the county, consider yourself blessed. Some were arguing that the city center is to large and you should be able to drive from various car parks on either side of the city with ease. Whatever happened to walking? To get from, say, Merchants Quay to the North Main Street takes all over 10 minutes. Most of the calls were geared about the possible pedestrianization of Pana in 2 years time. Some people even commented that the North side and the South side would be near impossible to get to, given that Pana would be closed off to traffic from the hours of 11am to 5pm. Now, I don't know about you, but I certainly wouldn't be using Pana to get from one side of the city to the other Theres a piece of land in the city called the quays, as a matter of fact, quite a number of cities would have these. Thats what you use to get from one end to the other. Come to think of it, a fair few of the Corks multi story car parks are located near the quays. Maybe theres a shortage of city driving knowledge out there, but we're certainly not living in a freeway surrounded metropolis, where if you get off the wrong exit you have to travel light years into the future to turn around again. That said though, yes the public transport system in Cork is shite. The train to Cobh for example will take you home at around 10.30pm. After that your walking, getting a taxi or just hoping to get lucky!

On another note, it all started today! For the last few weeks the talks of when and where, have been taking place. How much and how many. Turkey and Ham, Beef or Salmon. No matter what I do, I cant get away from it! I mean that in a good way. Im not a big fan of fuss, so the easier this goes the better, but, yes, Wedding bells are in the air. We had our first of many meetings with a wedding coordinator today. The weeks ahead hold many more meetings all over the place. I still dont understand the fuss of organising a wedding. Theres a remote possibility that, that may change in the coming months. But essentially, Hotel, Entertainment, Church, Cake, Flowers, Dress, Suit and thats kinda it. Oh yeah, I forgot the priest. Maybe Im jumping the gun a bit, but it must be one of the easiest jobs in the world to be a wedding coordinator in a hotel. People ring to see you, they turn up, you give em the spiel and they either like it or hate it. Nothing to do with the attitude of the coordinator, but its more to do with the grounds and the hotel.

Anyways, thats about it for today, but dont forget we've teamed up with Ubisoft for the next few nights giving away loadsa video games for the 360, PS2 and the DS, including Surfs up. Ubisoft are also running a competition around Surfs up, so get clicking the link below...

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

The one about Inquizition

Welcome to Autumn, heres hoping its going to be nothing like the Summer. Wettest July since records began according to some boffins. Im sure you, as well my good self, can do with out any large brained individuals informing us of how crap our Summer was. If I recall correctly, it all went downhill when I bought a new umbrella parasol thing for the garden at the first sign of sunshine, around late April. Hands up who went off and bought an expensive BBQ. You know the one thats too big to fit into your car, its got 9 gas burners and eats its way through an entire bottle of gas after incinerating a few chicken wings. Just out of curiosity, has anyone cooked on their new Barbie yet, sampled some sticky ribs off its hotplate or even managed to get the thing out of the box. Probably not. I think Bertie and the lads should have come back from holidays a bit earlier and done a Putin on the whole thing. Shoot the rain clouds out of the sky. The Russian head honcho has done this on many an occasion, including a Paul McCartney gig. Wouldn't it be great if you could ring the cloud dispersion hot line.

"Hello, your true to the cloud dispersion hot line. All our operators are busy, please hold the line. Your call is important to us"

34 minutes pass by

"Hello, this is Tom. How can we be of assistance"

"Yeah, here ah, an oul big fucker of a cloud there hanging over Ballyphehane and I want ta get me chicken wings sorted out"

"No problem Sir, Mastercard or Visa?"

Anyways, on another note Im going to be launching Mark Evans new book, Inquizition in the Crane Lane on Thursday night @ 7pm. I've been dishing out copies all week long and have been making my way through the book. Great read so far and a tonne of questions and answers and bus loads of trivia to boot!