Late N Live Top 5 signs you have a bad accountant (14/3/05)
5 – When you ask about how much tax youll be paying he just laughs and hands you his bill
4 – Keeps insisting that a nine is the same as a six ,only its upside down
3 – Hes supposes to be a member of the chartered accounts but the closet he could get is chartered planes for accountants
2 – When filling out your form, asks, "What color crayon should I use?"
1 – The calculator hes been using is actually a remote control for the TV
Late N Live Top 5 things you don’t want to hear in an expensive restaurant (15/3/05)
5 – Can I recommend one of our low-fat salads, Tubby?
4 – We’re legally obliged to tell you not to eat the oysters
3 – Sir, the chef would like to inform you that he has not sneezed in your meal, he might have done other things, but he hasn’t sneezed in it
2 – Oh for Christs sake, how hard is it to kill a cow
1 – Im sorry Sir, the restaurant is just closed. The tainiaste has just left
Late N Live Top 5 punchlines to dirty irish jokes (16/3/05)
5 – So he asked for a sheep and a pair of wellies
4 – Keep looking -- I know there's a shamrock in there somewhere.
3 – That's not the Blarney Stone, but don't stop kissing it
2 – Its not lord of the dance, its lord of my pants
1 – Here's one snake St. Patrick didn't chase out of Ireland
Late N Live Top 5 things overheard during the cork st.patricks day celebrations (17/03/05)
5 – So whered you get the ride me Im irish t-shirt
4 – Puke sound effects…..
3 – That’s great, I haven’t seen any drunk teenagers in oh about 6 minutes
2 – I cant remember the last time I saw so many people on Patrick Street without knives and glass bottles
1 – Look at the size of that float, it’s as big as the tanaiste…oh hang on it is the tanaiste
Late N Live Top 5 signs your top 5 list is crap (22/3/05)
5 – Number 5 is never really funny
4 – Two of the jokes are the same
3 – This one can be funny on occasion, but not tonight
2 – Two of the jokes are the same
1 – Its called Top 5 signs your Top 5 list is crap