Thursday, April 13, 2006

Im sure at this time tomorrow some of you will be saying to the boss "Cmere, listen I have to go to the stations!" Long weekend ahead for most of us Id expect. On Sunday and Monday nights we have compiled some really great bits from Cork Talks Back! All the big arguments, coupled with lots of skin and hair flying! These 2 days are gonna be my last few days off for a while, so Im looking forward to it!

I got my first (and last) Easter Egg yesterday from Grace, the legend from our Marketing Department! It didnt last long, thats all I can say! I came home and myself and Ger finished the thing off! Ill go and buy an egg or 2 for my parents and myself and ger have decided to pool the funds together and get one big arse egg instead of buying one for each other!

Good show last night, although I think we ran out of steam in the last 15 minutes! Major arguments over the expense of weddings for alot of the show, with some serious skin and hair flying! Last night of our Bartizan giveaway tonight as well! Just a few quick bits from last nights in betweens!

BRITNEY Spears’ baby son suffered a fractured after falling out of a high chair at the weekend! Accidents happen, but it wouldn’t be the first time that a member of the Spears family had something wrong upstairs.

FINANCE Minister Brian Cowen last night predicted that house prices will tail off rather than slump. In his first major intervention on the issue, he said the property boom should come to a soft, not a hard, landing. Unlike the government jet when the tainiaste s on board

Late ‘N Live Top 5 things you don’t want to hear from a petrol pump attendant 120406

5 – Want to see my fire breathing trick

4 – You can save your self a cent on the gallon if you fill the damn car yourself

3 –We used to have some really cheap petrol

2 –If ya think your been ripped off, you should see my pay slip

1 – Can you hold my hose while I put it in your tank

Earlier on this morning I was going through some of me archives of liners from the last few years! Heres a few random samples!

TV star Megan Mullally has confessed she was “mesmerised” by Jennifer Lopez’s famous bum on a new episode of hit show Will and Grace. J-Lo, 34, was making a guest appearance as a wedding singer. Ben Affleck has come out and said “While Jennifers butt has hypnotic qualities its really dangerous to your career”

A TG4 documentary on the loss of Irish culture has won 2 top awards and the Aspen Shortfest Film Festival. Lost and forgotten irish culture, no wonder its forgotten we’re drunk all the time

A BUSINESS student last night claimed the world record for the fastest text message. And the most amazing thing is they found a sober student to do it

A TINY Pacific island is one of the biggest producers of internet porn in the world, a survey revealed yesterday. Finally good news for all the men. It just goes to show that size doenst matter.

Private Lyndy England the lady accused of abusing Iraqi prisioners could face 40 years in prision. You might recall the digital photographs of Private England dragging an Iraqi prisoner around on a leash at the Abu Grab prision. Her defense…..Photoshop.

Independent “Hit” Teams are to be set up for surprise visits to Garda stations around the country to make sure that things are all ship shape and procedures are been followed. Given the low amount of Gardai around..Their biggest problem will be trying to find them

Michael Jackson has pleaded with the media to leave him alone. Makes a change as normally it’s the kids hes pleading with,

THE public was alerted yesterday to the dangers to children of winter plants that are used to decorate houses over Christmas. In its annual report, the National Poisons Centre, which is based in Beaumont Hospital, highlighted some unlikely seasonal hazards. These included the fact that mistletoe, in rare cases, can cause muscle weakness, coma and convulsions. One or two berries or leaves should not result in harm, though large doses can lead to gastroenteritis and abdominal pain. And here me thinking that when I arrive with mistletoe and people are in convulsions and collapsing it was alcohol releated

TAKING to the air and to the ice are just two of the alternatives employers are embracing as an antidote to the traditional booze-fuelled Christmas staff party. Cheap flights abroad or an outing to the ice rink are becoming increasingly popular pre-Christmas events. All very well but how can you photocopy your arse in an ice rink or on a plane

BRITNEY Spears has had a capital idea — she wants to call her child LONDON. How she came up with this is beyond me. Even her husband Kevin Federline is after getting out of bed and asking whats going on. Why would u call ur child after a city. Well what would expect after the mother is called after a popular Ferry company

VICTORIA Beckham has revealed that she does read books - she just doesn't often finish them. Yeah, its tuff to get past the acknowledgments at times

MICHAEL Jackson posted porn magazines home to himself from Japan, jurors at his trial heard yesterday. Michael said they were for the sex education lectures he gives at the ranch

The worlds oldest shoe has been found and its over 2000 years old. Would SHOE believe it

A FARMER has landed a windfall of almost €30m by selling land to house a giant new prison complex, it has been revealed. That’s some cell for the farmer!

A YOUTH had his samurai sword confiscated by a judge at the Children's Court yesterday – After that the case was slashed.

TWO pensioners bought a classic musical DVD hoping to see 1950's icon Doris Day in action - only to find a hardcore porno inside The husband said It was a pretty raunchy, explicit film, it certainly pulled no punches. My wife and I were very shocked but we watched it until the end because we couldn't believe what we were seeing. Well that’s the best excuse ever if your caught with a porno…I couldn’t believe it was happening

It was so hot today that the tainaiste had to go to the elephant enclosure in Dublin zoo to get hosed down

OUR personal borrowings are rising fast and now stand at more than €85bn. We borrowed more than €1.3bn every month last year, pushing up the grand total for personal debt by €16.5bn. If people out there are borrowing 1.3 billion, Im not getting paid enough

Uma Thurman, Natalie Portman and Alicia Silverstone have all been eating uncooked food in the name of optimum health. Woody Harrelson went so far as to publish a 400-page book on Living Cuisine. Most of the supermodels are eating uncooked food as well, by all accounts its easier to throw up. Yeah, I cant wait to go home now and eat some raw mince, maybe ill put it in a blender and drink it down.

RELIGIOUS faith is declining in Ireland, but superstition is still strong. Only 73pc of Irish people now believe in God but more than half of us believe in lucky numbers, according to a new survey. It’s a bit ironic isnt it, when you do your lucky numbers in the lotto you say, please god just this once…cmon god bring up my numbers

THE average Irish smoker is now spending almost €2,300 a year on their. People who smoke could be funding a small mortgage or enjoying the holiday of a lifetime every year by breaking their habit. Its times like this I wished I smoked

PARIS HILTON can't bring herself to watch her own infamous sex video. "I never saw it," the 24-year-old has revealed. "I couldn't bear it." Yeah, neither could the rest of us.

heading that way for a while now. Im surpised it didn’t come sooner. After all the likelihood of you appearing on the internet with your knickers around your ankles was very little with a 35mm camera. But these digital days you can be Next door annie in a matter of seconds. You can take a picture, put it on the internet in a matter of minutes these days, and most ladies are reporting that if they take any sexy pictures with their boyfriends the process lasts longer than the actual sex. So its true, take a picture it lasts longer

THOUSANDS of farmers are hoping to make a killing by demanding up to €18,000 apiece for the large electricity pylons on their land. I don’t know about you but that news is absolutely shocking!

Jordan also that her and Peter Andre are both addicted to St Tropez fake tan. What are they doing, drinking it?She told Heat magazine: "We both lie there (in bed) next to each other, all tanned up. We’re like a pair of hot dogs” Oh yeah, bring on the buns, ketchup and mustard! Sounds like they have an amazing sex life…applying fake tan onto each other and then lying there staring at each other.

ASHTON KUTCHER is relieved to finally call himself Demi Moore's husband - because he was sick of being labelled as her "boy toy" I agree completely, it was an absolute disgrace and downright disgusting that people were using the words boy toy to describe Demi Moores eldest son.

David Beckham is set to be on a 25 pound coin. The coins are to mark England’s 2006 World Cup qualification. So sometime soon, you can look forward to tossing him off into a wishing well for good luck!

MADONNA. has invested in a cellulite-busting wobbling machine as she seeks to keep her young shape. Basically it’s a vibrator. See, you needn’t feel embarrassed anymore buying one, just say its for the cellulite. Although for any of the men listening thinking of buying her goodself 9 inches of rubberised motion, it mightn’t be a good idea to say you bought it for the cellutlite

JORDAN has confessed that Victoria Beckham is her style icon. The busty model, real name Katie Price, says that she really admires the former Spice Girl’s dress sense. Now I wouldnt be Poshs biggest fan but in fairness she does dress very well. So shes Jordans style icon, for what eye liner!

Kerry Katona has revealed she thinks lesbianism is great. In her OK! column, the star admitted she wouldn’t turn down an opportunity to get jiggy with another woman. Well after Brian McFadden crushing you for a couple of years, we wouldn’t blame you!

INTERNET shopping looks set to soar this Christmas as consumers seek to avoid the endless trudge around crowded stores. Already sales at some internet retailers are rocketing by up to 500pc as customers take the less stressful option of shopping from the comfort of their own home or office. Thatll explain why Daddy is sitting in front of the computer at 3 in the morning naked

JESSICA SIMPSON and Nick Lachey have split up. The star couple have released an official statement in US Weekly magazine.It reads: "After three years of marriage, and careful thought and consideration, we have decided to part ways."This is the mutual decision of two people with an enormous amount of respect and admiration for each other. "We hope that you respect our privacy during this difficult time. Its not all bad news, Nick Lachey is getting a new TV show..its called “I used be a celebrity get me a job”

Some of those are all the ways back in 2004! Im sure theres at least one that is remotely funny!
Ok, Ive filled lots of blog space cheaply, so Im off to make something resembling a lunch! Ill leave you with a picture of Jesus...given that its Easter and all!

There will be a special Good Friday blog tomorrow as well!!