Wednesday, January 28, 2009

The one with retail therapy

One of the topics on the show last night was an article from on of the papers saying we should knock retail therapy on the head!

Personally, I like to shop. I can shop like a woman! And I can shop like a whore who just got over paid for 15 minutes of "fun" when it comes to online shopping! 

As soon as I hit 18, whats the first thing I did? Legally take a drink? Legally get into a nightclub? Wander around car parks spying on couples getting it on? None of the above. I applied for a credit card, and some bunch of idiots decided, yeah lets give this fool a credit card with a £500 limit. I got the card on a friday evening and had run up over £400 on it by lunchtime Saturday. I didnt care. It felt damn good. It wasnt my money, it was someone elses, or so I thought. When the bill arrived, a month later, I felt dirty and ashamed. I scrubbed myself for hours and excluding 2 boners, I couldn't get myself clean! But I was addicted. Id pay £50 or £100 into the card when I got paid. Then I'd go off spend again! I had the disease and still do!

After a while red letters and angry phone calls happened. So what did I do? I went off and got another credit card! I was completely addicted to spending like I was P-Diddy or some shit! Years passed and I never ended up in court. I got rid of one of the credit cards, well when I paid it off they never gave it back! I still have one. These days I'm a bit wiser, or maybe its because I have a bigger limit. 

As for my biggest spending spree, fuck knows! Theres been too many. Around Xmas time last year, I went off to buy presents for a few people in Mahon Point. I crawled out of the place a few hours later, laden down with bags....and no presents! I think the bill came to around €500/600. I try not to think about it anymore!

I'm sure I have some psychological problem when it comes to the big spending. Tvs, Amps, Projectors. Anything expensive and electronic. I go off, do the research on the item. Then decide to buy it. Either online or otherwise. When it comes to the purchase, I back off. And empty the shopping cart (online) or walk out of the store. Then I go back an hour later and click like a mad thing. Before I know it, the fuckin thing is ordered, or Its in the boot of the car and I'm halfway home. But I don't realise what Ive done until its half an hour later. Then the sex with a hooker shame kicks in!

But, we all get down days, we all get bored. And this is where the retail therapy, for me anyway, kicks in big time. Ya cant beat lying in bed at 4am, iPod in hand, ordering Blu-Rays that'll remain unwatched for months! Sure, when the postman arrives at the door its a big anti climax. But the thrill of the ordering is like....well lets say something involving ping pong balls and hookers.