Thursday, July 03, 2008

The one with a whole load of Dark Knight clips

Im still undecided whether the huge amount of clips that are coming online for the Dark Knight are a good idea. Either way, Im after taking off my pants for these! If I were wearing knickers, they'd be pulled to one side!

The one with cinema etiquette

I went to see Hancock yesterday. I left Hancock feeling a bit disappointed. I also left Hancock barely with my life intact. Well.....

Does anybody know how to remotely conduct themselves in a, what some would call, intimate public place. The majority of younger audience members either stunk of farts or piss with a high selection of the adult audience trying to conduct huge conversations on the phone. The ones who weren't busy telling someone in their phonebook, that they were in the cinema, were busy sneezing with all their might. At one point I thought something had happened in the cinema as there seemed to be a large mist forming. But it only turned out to be a spray of snot and mucus.

"Yeah, I'm in the cinema" " No, the cinema" "The new Will Smith flick" "I think its called Hancock" "Yeah" "Hmmmm" "Yeah" "Yeah, that's the one, where he tosses the whale" "Yeah". Shut the fuck up! Turn off your phone. You don't need to have a conversation on the phone during the movie. If its really important, they'll call back. Its 90 minutes of your life. None of us are that important. And speaking of important, if they cant get hold of you, they'll fuckin text you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe some of these savages are proud of the fact that they can sneeze and have to show the rest of us how its done. God help the poor girl that ends up snogging one of these piss reeking young fellas. Now I'm not getting on my high horse or anything, I sneeze and fart like the rest of you. But at least I'll try and keep my nostril projectiles until theres not a full audience of people around. And if I do sneeze around a group of lookers on, I'll put my hand over my fuckin mouth. Its not that hard! I'm sure these neanderthals use their hands for other things, such as pulling bananas down off trees and killing fish with spears.

I know its not everybody, but a good few people, would really want to wake up and take a shower. And put your hand over your mouth when you sneeze. You know, your hand. You spend enough time grooming your mates looking for bugs!

The one with the Skype laughter chain

As promised!!!!! Check the hyena dude!