Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Tonight on the show, in the run up to Flick It (where you could win 10 Grand) Ill be presenting a movie, as Phil did yesterday. Its from the Star Wars saga, but Im not revealing which one it is till later on. Some may be shocked! Ill also be giving away tickets to the flicks to boot. I'll be taking some more skiers down the CTB ski slope as well, all fighting for the number 1 spot on our leaderboard, in the hopes of winning themselves a ski holiday to Andorra, compliments of panaroma holidays.
By now, Im sure some of you have been prone to the local politicians pounding down the door and dropping leaflets of promises through the letterbox. We need this and we need that and Ill ensure that we get it. We need better roads etc.etc.etc. and yes, you guessed it, Im the man or woman to get it. What the F$%k? We needed all that the last time and the time before that. What did they do then? It amazes me that some of these so called public reps have the gaul to tell you that they'll be doing this and that when they said it the last time. The problems still need fixing!!!! Its like the blind leading the bling in one instance! When these people come to your door, put it to em. Ask the tough questions. Ask WHY things havent been done! Most importantly though, do vote!
The Cameraman Joke
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate
father to start their family. On the day the surrogate father was to
arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be
here soon" Half an hour later, just by chance a door-to-door baby
photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
"Good morning, madam. I've come to...."
"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in.
"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good. I've made a speciality of
"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat"
After a moment, she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the
couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is
fun too; you can really spread out!"
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me"
"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But, if we
try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven different
angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results"
"My, that's a lot of....." gasped Mrs. Smith.
"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in
and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure"
"Don't I know it," Mrs. Smith said quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his
"This was done on the top of a bus in downtown
"Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their
mother was so difficult to work with"
"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to
done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get
a good look"
"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.
"Yes," the photographer said, "And for more than three hours too. The
mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate.
Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the
squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean squirrels actually chewed on your,
"That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so we
can get to work."
"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for
me to hold for very long. Madam? Madam? ....... Good Lord, she's