Sunday, August 31, 2008

The one with my Step Brothers take!

At times, I can lose the plot over the slightest thing. Yesterday, was another one of those days. I went looking for the power screwdriver, and couldn't find it. Eventually I found it, but it was too late as the red mist had started rolling in from the mountains. Another 20 minutes was spent looking for the screw driver bits, and they, like Paris Hilton's knickers, could not be found. By this time, the red mist was ripping its way through the house, so I was in pretty bad fuckin form.

Around 5ish we went off to Mahon Point and I ended up forking up some moolah for a jacket. The little bit of retail therapy brought a break in the red mist storm, but I was still in bad form. I suggested going to see Step Brothers, but she who must be obeyed didn't really fancy it. By the end of a Big Mac, it was decided we would go off and see the new Will Ferrell and John C. Riley flick. I felt a little laughter therapy would help the red mist storm!

So, to the story. Dale and Brennan become step brothers after their mammy and daddy tie the knot, after feeling each others internal milkshakes at a hearing aid convention. They hate each other and go about being nasty little feckers to one another. The first half of the film is non stop dick, fart and bunk bed jokes and it works absolute wonders. Couple this with some comedy violence and your on a winner, already. Now, as most of these movies go, inevitably the step brothers begin to like each other, thanks to velociraptors and wanting to shag John Stamos if they were women. And, they have to team up to solve a problem, which involves Dale and Brennan singing and drumming at the wine mixer! Im not going to gvie away the problem as its a little spoiler, but its probably quite obvious from the start of the movie.
Riely and Ferrell, who many will remember from Talledega Nights, not only were involved with the writing, but look like they had an absolute blast filming this. The portray genuine child style hatred for one another and I dont think 2 other actors could have pulled it off the way the guys did!

Sure, the story is a little bizarre, with 2 grown men acting like little spoilt shits, but Step Brothers requires you to leave your brains at the ticket booth. Once you pop your brain out, sit back and wait for the pee dribbling to begin!

Movies like Step Brothers, will never get 10 out of 10s or 100s out of 100s, but they make you laugh until you get a little dribble of pee. The whole thing moves along quite quickly, and baring a few little hiccups not even worth mentioning, Adam McKay, in my view, has directed one of the funnier movies of the year so far. And whatever you do, don't leave until the credits are done, because what happens a few seconds into the credit roll, is worth the price of admission alone. I left Step Brothers with the red mist completely and utterly lifted and I pray to the Lord Jesus that there is an extended and unrated version for Blu-Ray in the coming months.


Wednesday, August 27, 2008

The one with sausage snobbery amongst other things

Like many things in this blog, this post may seem a bit "out there". But it makes sense, like every other post!

Its been suggested that I explain my sausage snobbery at length on the blog. An elaboration of sorts. Over the last few years, Ive had a great love affair with cooking, and I still do. And when you start removing your pants to cook books and frying pans, you pay a bit more attention to the actual food you buy and cook with. So a while back I started paying attention to the pork content in sausages. For as long as I can remember, any oul pack of sausages would have been horsed into the shopping trolley. Then, when I started the love affair with spatulas and the likes, we started getting sausages that had 80% pork content. How can I describe the difference?

Well, take the movie I am Legend. NYC was a desolate, barren but relatively safeish place by day. Wander around at night and shit would pull your brains out through you belly button and eat them. Its that much of a difference. Night and day literally. In the taste, in the texture and so on. While the 80% pork content sausages may cost a few cent more, you should never buy anything less. If you cant get 80% pork content ones, then 75% is all you should settle for. Otherwise, forget it! So hopefully that explains my sausage snobbery! 80% or bust! Read the back of the feckin packets! So anyway, and I'm in no way associated with them, much love goes to the Princes St. butchers, O Donovans!

So what else is going on? Not much really, bar the painting fiasco. Painter organised for Saturday, fucker never turns up. No phone calls, nothing! Maybe his horse broke down. So I painted the damn room myself, which completely defeated the purpose of paying someone to do it. Either way, I wasnt tackling the stairs, hall and landing, as Im too lazy, once was enough. So a far more reliable painter was organised and he done a good job yesterday. Only thing is, I had to get the paint made up for the size of the stairs etc. and when you get it made up, its never, ever exactly the same. 2 hours were spent until 3 am debating whether there was a tint of yellow in the damn thing, and yes there is. So

And on a final note, my producer, Eimear bought herself a nice, new 450D Canon in Merica, and took this rather good shot. I normally dont look as happy :) And yes, that is one of the cooler t-shirts around!

Rock on...or something!

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

The one with people in sheds

Morning, afternoon and all those pleasantries. A while back I came up with a simple text poll that asked the question, are you listening naked. And over 1 in 2 people, listen to Cork Talks Back with Victor Barry, nekkid. Now, that poll is coming around again in the next few days, so get stripping.

Last night, another question was posed by yours truly. "Where are you listening?". Its easier for the audience to see what I look like via the web, but its difficult for me to imagine alot of the audience, naked or otherwise. So, being a curious fella, I wondered aloud where do people actually listen to the show.

Boats, Baths, Cliffs, Mountains, Tractors, Car Boots and Sheds were just a selection of what I got back via text. In particular, sheds seemed to be the outright winner when it came to where folks listen to the show. Maybe the show is some dirty little secret for alot of people, where they have to listen in private, in a shed. Now if your shed is like mine, its a nasty place. Things like the lawnmower, screwdrivers and Hulk Spiders live there. But either way, thanks for listening and thank you very much for continuing to make us the number 1 show for under 35s in Cork. And keep listening, in sheds or otherwise.

And on a final note, for those of you that are fans of sheds, what follows is a selection of shed porn. Enjoy! If your in work, this may be NSFW!


mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, put your tools in......
Oh god, a shed 3 sum...mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Thursday, August 21, 2008

The one about web addiction

Theres nothing but talk of wedding dresses in the house of late. I just cant seem to decide on what I like. Vera Wang my arse. But that's something for another blog, or maybe a doctors office.

First week back and with God as my witness (granted a wet witness) its flown. I feel as if ol Doc Brown abducted me in a DeLorean on Monday evening, and dropped me off today. Might explain why I've got a funny walk.

One of the topics last night, was web addiction. No doubt, like many people reading this, you, like I, have a problem. Unlike one of the callers who explained his record was 60 hours straight, I'm not that much of an addict. That caller is like the Michael Phelps of net usage. If I were to speak of records, it probably goes back to when I first got the net, way back in dial up days, 1997 or there abouts.

A good 12 hours were spent; bare in mind that this was dial up, so that probably equated into 2 pages, melting my eyes onto the keyboard. And if memory serves me correctly, I fecked off into work with about one hour of sleep and broken wrists....from typing...of course....cough.

So whats it like now, my web addiction. Well lets put it like this. Last year I spent a good 15 minutes checking emails and credit card balances in the Dell Lounge on the top floor of Macy's, in NYC. A few weeks ago I was up in the North, with the Ipod touch and its wifi capabilities been used non stop. Came back down south, stayed in Athlone, and within 30 seconds of getting to the hotel room, I was on the phone looking for the wifi login. I cant sleep at night without having a nose at the web on the Ipod. I cant get up without checking what gone down in the few hours that I'm asleep. I cant even take shit with out holding the Ipod in one hand. Sometimes I thank Jesus for Google Reader. It makes having a dump so much easier.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

The one with the Olympics

All last week, without fail, the Olympics have been on. I'm a fan of few sports, but I've kinda got caught up in the lim-pics! I posed a question last night, to which some people got a little bit upset. Simply put, "Why did we bother sending any Irish athletes, when the majority of them are coming in last?" I know theres been a few exceptions, with one of our boxers guaranteed a bronze now, but Its made me wonder none the less. Its like we sent out a group of car mechanics to fix the engine on a Boeing 747. None of them will be able to fix the engine, but they may make it tick over.

Maybe its a bit rich for me to be harping on about Irish athletes and how shite most of their performances have been, given that the most athletic thing I do is practising baby making or typing up this blog. And if you do end up in the Olympics, be careful. This poor unfortunate weightlifter didn't have the best Olympics. If hes a single guy, it could proove very frustrating!!!

Much thanks goes out to all the Welcome back texts that came in last night, and in particular a special thanks goes to John O D, who sent us in a welcome back chocolate cake. It was good to be back, but my voice didnt hold up too well at all. Half way through the show, I was drinking water, like a fish out of it.

Dont forget another Munster family pass tonight and tickets for Lovebox tonight and all the usual! Blog slowly ramping up to normality again!

Monday, August 18, 2008

The one where the holidays are over and well done to John Creedon

Well, it had to happen. The holidays came to an end. Im back on the air tonight, 9pm only on Corks RedFM. I suppose I have a certain amount of holiday blues, but it was nice to get a break from the work enviornment. It will be nice to get back on the air tonight, and Im sure she who must be obeyed is counting down the seconds till I walk out the door! I just cant believe how quick they went.

Over the next day or 2 the blog will return to its normal, mindblowing (!) self so keep checking back. It was on major slowdown for the last 2 weeks, back is returning to normal. That is, if you could call it normal.

And on a final, first blog back note, well done to John Creedon for winning that Failte Towers thing. I absolutely detest reality tv in most of its forms, and this was no different. But, its great to see a Corkonian do so well. And yes, he may be the competition, but fair play to him! Go on Creedo!

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

The one with Leaving Certificates

Well, just like Christmas, I hope you got what you wanted....well for those of you who completed the oul LC.

Please take it handy this evening and dont end up like the cat....

Remember August 18th, 9pm, Corks RedFM!!!

Sunday, August 10, 2008

The one with the Cobh Regatta Fireworks

Went down to have a nose at the fireworks....

The one with Bernie Mac

Another hero becomes a legend. R.I.P.

Friday, August 08, 2008

The one with Belfast

A few months ago, I got a mad notion to go to Belfast on a short break. Primarily for a credit card melting trip to IKEA. She who must be obeyed agreed and on Tuesday last, we hit the road up North with the Sat Nav sucked onto the windscreen.

I was too miserable to buy new maps to for the Nav, knowing that the roads had changed since I got my last ones. In hindsight I should have forked out the extra few bob for the maps as it would have reduced "For fuck sake, it doesn't know they've put a flyover the roundabout" comments. Either way, we got to Belfast just after lunchtime. Excluding Toll central in Dublin and lets dig up Newry, we got there in just over 5 and half hours. A tiring drive, but bags were dropped and we headed out into an absolute miserable, rain soaked Belfast. We didn't have a great amount of time to shop, but we managed the 3 big ones in Belfast.

Queens Arcade was over faster than bad sex. But Castle Court and the Victoria Center all got some sterling and plastic love. We spent an age in a Tesco metro. And quite alot of it was spent with me moaning (as usual) "Why the fuck dont Tesco down south stock this?" Tesco own brand ibuofren (neurofen) 16 pack, 34p. Yup, 34p. I couldn't believe it either. They were flogging their own brand Aspirin for 13p. So after some unnecessary purchases the shopping centers, Urban outfitters and of course Forbidden Planet all got to see our wet asses. On the way back to the Hotel, Ger decided she wanted to go on the Belfast Eye. Similar to the London Eye only a wee bit smaller. Shes normally petrified of such things, but this time it was the other way round. For the first rotation, I very nearly shit myself and hit the panic button. She loved it!

We headed out that night to Cafe Vaudeville for dinner, which was fine. Nothing mind blowing, but nice none the less. The place looked amazing as it was an old Bank. All went well until some alarm went off and the kitchen shutters dropped down and a few fellas went running. Given the troubles that made their way through Belfast, you cant help but think for a split second. But it turned out to be the fire alarm. Another wet and miserable walk back through the wonderful city, concluded our only night in Belfast.

The following morning, we got up and decided to do one last bit of shopping. Starbucks fed us and by 10ish we were back in the room, ready to go.

Originally, we had planned to go the Giants Causeway after our trip to IKEA. From there we were heading to Donegal and then to Athlone to sleep. The weather was still absolutely shite, so the causeway was causing some doubts. Either way, we made our way to IKEA, which the Sat Nav brought us to the right location in a giant industrial park, but not the exact spot. 10 minutes later, I was blown away by the biggest store I have ever seen in my life. 4 hours later we were back in the car planning on renting a van for the next time. I cant fault IKEA at all. A wonderful experience, topped off with some fine Hot Dogs. £2.25 for 2 Hot Dogs and 2 Free Refillable drinks. I'm sure the IKEA staff are still laughing at my purchase of an entire slab of Non Alcoholic Kopparberg!

It was well after 2 when we got back to the car and decided, due to the weather to scrap Donegal and The Giants Causeway.

We arrived at the Athlone Springs Hotel after 6. After a wonderful drive through Northern Ireland. The following morning, after breakfast, we hit the road. If I had updated the maps on the Sat Nav, we wouldn't have got to see some fine Athlone countryside. Either way we got home after lunchtime!

Its amazing to think the history that has taken place in the North. All I ever knew about Belfast was killings, bombs and marching bands. But, Northern Ireland is a wonderful spot. Sure, I might have driven through spots where I wouldn't have fancied breaking down, like anywhere else. To sum up, we didn't get shot at, there were no bombs exploding and I cant wait to get back to Belfast. A wonderful city, with wonderful people and a wonderful atmosphere. Belfast is a credit to its people!!! We could well do with taking a leaf out of their book down here!

If you get the opportunity to get up there, by all means go!

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

The one with blog holidays

Righto, for the next 2 weeks Im kinda on blog holidays aswell as normal holidays. Keep checking back though (or add the blog to your reader) as I WILL be updating, but far less than usual!

I'll be back on air, Monday, August 18th, 9pm only on Corks RedFM!

Sunday, August 03, 2008

The one with a few bits...

The one with whats going on with the show

Righto, tonight is the last Cork Talks Back for 2 weeks. Im on holidays and as we normally do, we shut it down. Chris Curtis will be in holding down the fort until Im back, which will be August 18th. The blog will also slow down a bit, but there will be some posts so keep checking back.

So after tonight, pencil August 18th, 9pm into your diary!

Friday, August 01, 2008

The one where................

Well, Ive been allowed to get the graphics on the blog back to normal. Life is wonderful.

Dont forget on Sunday night, its gonna be the last show for 2 weeks. And other than that, this is one of them shitty oul lazy blog updates. Ya know the ones, nothing but vids and stoopid pics!

Human Cat

Batman PSA