Tuesday, April 15, 2008

The one with sex toys

Due to the topic discussed on this update, it may not be suitable for everyone. It also features one image which isnt particuarly suitable for viewing on your lunch break where you work.

The world is coming to an end. I can smell the burning. The Four Men of the Apocalypse are saddling up on their ponies and are heading this way. The sales of sex toys are through the roof. Hide. Beg for forgiveness. Well at least that'd be the intro to this update if I were a conservative individual with a 747 sized load of morals. But Im quite the opposite. Im very liberal when it comes to these kinds of things, and I do have morals. As little as they may seem.

Am I suprised that more and more Irish people are buying devices that they pleasure themselves with? Am I suprised that the battery companies are more than likely kept in business by people buying devices which eat batteries like Mike Tyson eats children? Not in the least. Finally, liberation for the sexually supressed Irish. The days of hiding in a field and flaking yourself with a few nettles to get a thrill, are well and truly gone. So, no, Im not suprised at all. 85% of people last night who voted in our "Do you own a sex toy?" poll, own sex toys. And more power to them.

Out of respect for she who must be obeyed, I wasnt exactly going to blurt out my dealings with sex toys and so on. But, I've had dealings with them and lets say any of the dealings came out so successful, I should be invited to Wallstreet to ring the bell. Would I be intimidated by them? Not in the least. That said, some of the larger ones, which look like they've been based on a Blue Whale are frightening. And to those of you who own one of these enormous Whale size ones, again I say fair play. You'll have no troubling having kids.

For the blokes out there that are insecure about the size of their captain winky (which seems to be most), you'll have to get used to the idea of larger plastic, rubber and latex devices. Remember, the sex toy can only do so much. Can it bring out the rubbish? Can it build tree houses? Can it be something to rely on if the world is coming to an end? Can it shit!!!! Nothing to be afraid of, she might even love you more for it!

And, yes I didnt really mention toys for men. But all the blokes know whats hot! Ps3's, Xbox 36o's, Scaletrix sets.....

The one with......

As promised....Aidans School of motoring 086 8859267

There :)