Thursday, July 31, 2008

The one with something about later

Battle of the politicians 2 happening a little later on on the show!

Dont miss it!

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

The one with liquid nitrogen

Got some liquid nitrogen hanging around? Got a swimming pool? Well this should pass away a few minutes...

The one with swinging

Great and interesting reaction to the swinging topic last night. Many people were of the opinion that the swingers were dirty, slimy perverts. And a selection were saying fair play, if it floats your boat, put up your sail!

It was fascinating talking to the callers and how the whole scene works. Would it float my boat? as many wanted to know. I suppose to a point. Years of porn watching, probably has desensitised me to the whole thing. As the old saying goes, we'd all go for a look. And theres not much point going to the fairground or "da merries" without having a go on the bumpers. But as is the norm with the bumpers, be prepared to get hit from behind. Otherwise tell the other drivers to stay in front of ya.

But what happens if your performance is lack luster or ends quite early. What do you do then? Hang around, watch and try and get going again? Offer words of encouragement to the other swingers? Or maybe turn on the TV in another room and watch the news? I would imagine that for some people the thought of being in a room with a load of naked, horny folk would be quite exciting. It might be too exciting for that said few though. A tap on the shoulder could be enough to end someones evening prematurely.

The idea of an outside broadcast from a swinging party had crossed my mind, and its still in my mind if truth be told. I can imagine it now.
"This is Cork Talks Back with Victor Barry, hang on a sec, theres a couple having sex on top of the desk. Watch the mics folks will ye, there expensive. Anyway call us......."

I'm a very liberal person and quite open to lots of things. So whatever floats your boat, hoist the sail and sail on!

I should have been at Cork week!

The one with Harry Potter

For some time now, I've always been accused of not giving Harry Potter a fair go. And Im not about to give it a fair go. I can appreciate they hype and moolah old Ma Rowling has pulled in and how successful the movies are, but the thought of that young fella jumping around the place with a broom just makes me cringe. All the hocus pocus shite inspires me to reach into a bucket and hurl up me breakfast.

But, Ive decided to be nice this morning and put up a teaser trailer for the new Harry Potter and the Half dead Prince or whatever its called....

Monday, July 28, 2008

The one with a Spider Pig sequel

Well, the bottom of the barell has been scraped for the title and Ive just opened another one for the actual content. Hang on...right..something of interest..just in time for the lunchtime blog rush.

For years now theres always been a manner of strange shit making the news from, not Ballincollig, but China. You know the sort, man grows horns out of his head, 2 headed cats and a monkey that smokes cigarettes out of his arse. For quite some time now, Ive always wondered just what the fuck is in the water in China. Is it heroin? Is it that bug that got into the water supply in Galway? Is it Alien ejaculate? I really don't know, but its some crazy shit either way.

So, whats come out of China to warrant such a blogging....

Well, for those of you who are fans of the Simpson's movie, no doubt you will all have taken off your pants and skirts for the Spider pig part. You, like I, no doubt have sung that song on many occasions. Primarily at weddings and funerals no doubt. So with the Spider Pig in your mind...take a look at this......

"It’s hideous. No one will be willing to buy it, and it scares the family to even look at it!" Feng told Oriental Today. He says the piglet looks just like a monkey, with two thin lips, a small nose and two big eyes. Its rear legs are also much longer than its forelegs, causing it to jump instead of walk.
That's the lowdown. A monkey pig. Now is this the alien ejaculate that I spoke of, getting into the pigs drinking water. I'm no scientist, but I would think not. Is there some bizarre cross species breeding going on? Again, I'm no scientist, but Id imagine some horned up monkey is responsible for this. It may even be one of the monkeys that smoked fags from its hole. How does something like this happen? Were there dates and dinners? Was it planned? Or was it one of them "What dya mean you didnt wear a condom?" moments. Then; said monkey decided enough was enough, and his fetish for pig humping was over. He then went back to smoking fags from his backside. Up a tree somewhere.

I suppose whats happened in China; brings a whole new meaning to the game Cork Gentleman play, Pull the Pig!!!! Obviously this game has now spread to the indigenous monkey tribes of China!

Enjoy the rest of your lunch!

Saturday, July 26, 2008

The one with The Dark Knight redux

Went to see the Dark Knight for the second time last night. Firstly; the last time I saw a queue as long as the one I saw last night, was back in 1989. The Capitol Cineplex on the Grand Parade was reopening, and Tim Burton's Batman was the first movie to be shown there. The queue snaked around onto Patrick Street. Last night was pretty similar, for the late showing in Mahon Point.

So is it better second time round. To me, it is. But I ran out of steam by the end. I was absolutely knackered tired. Originally, as previously mentioned, I got sucked into the hype machine and couldn't absorb as much as I wanted. Second time round, I soaked the thing up like a big sponge. Ledgers performance gave me chills and shivers on more than one occasion. As a whole, I was able to appreciate Christopher Nolan's masterpiece a little bit more.

Up to a particular point in the Dark Knight, people were laughing along at the Jokers lunacy. After this particular point which I wont mention (spoilers and all that), the whole place was absolutely silent. No longer were there little laughs. No longer were there little giggles. It was pure "This fecker is absolutely out of his freakin mind"

Now that the hype, for me, is over. Whats wrong with the movie? Not a great deal really. By the time you finish watching the movie, you'll realise that everybody was banking on Heath Ledger to be around for another stint as the greatest villian ever portrayed on screen.

My original, hype induced 11/10, does that still stand? No. If I have to be honest, it doesn't still stand.

But 10/10 does!!!!!

Friday, July 25, 2008

The one with a poll

Going to start throwing a few polls on here now and again. Dark Knight poll up and running, in the sidebar on the right. Scroll down and know it'll make you feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside!

Thursday, July 24, 2008

The one with my Dark Knight take!

Just back from seeing the Dark Knight and, yes it does live up to the hype. Ledger is amazing as the Joker, but as Ive said on here and on air, it is extremely difficult to determine that the Joker is played by an actor. For all its worth, its just some Gotham city nut job that they found in a cage somewhere. Heath Ledgers performance is that convincing. And as previously mentioned, I dont think I can recall an actor being so consumed by a role. Does it warrant an Oscar, damn right it does! I tried to see Heath Ledger in this movie, but for the life of me I couldnt! Its all Joker!!!!!! He has knocked Jack Nicholsons performance of the Joker into a week so far away, they'd need the Millenium Falcon to find it!

Im not going into the plot to a great degree, but basically Joker wants to kill Batman and find out who the man behind the mask is. And of course, it involves the mob and their life savings. There are plenty of twists and turns along the way, and the 152 minute movie rockets along like the Batpod.

The whole thing looks amazing. Dark and gritty, the way Gotham should be. The acting is top notch. The wonderful "fuck me thats an actual truck they flipped" action sequences are stunning. Mix in a superb score from Hans Zimmer and James Newton Howard and Christopher Nolan put together a helluva fuckin movie!!!!! Finally a superhero / comic book flick that doesnt stop off at the deli and pile on the cheese. This movie is dark, violent and brutal. The way it should be!

If I had to be critical of the the Dark Knight, I'd criticise myself. Over the last few days , I got completely and utterly sucked into the hype machine. I went into the cinema expecting the second coming of christ. But, Jesus didnt tear through the screen on a Jesus Bat Pod, unfortunately. So with all the hype swilling around in my mind, I was looking at the movie through a hazey gaze. And I felt at times, parts were not registering in my mind, I was that caught up in the hype. And Im finding it very hard to put into words what an amazing piece of work this is.

Let me put it like this. When you reach a certain age, all you want to do is have sex. You wait for years and eventually you get on top of someone. The first time isnt really mind blowing, but it feels good. From then on, each time you get your pants off, the sex gets better every time you do it. And to me thats what The Dark Knight is. Because there is so much to absorb in this mindblowing piece of cinema, it gets better every time you see it. It is the cinematic event of the year, and one that will remain in your mind for quite some time. For me, my pants is already taken off for tomorrow night!


The one where I got the blog back

Yesterday was a bonkers day on the blog, as Im sure you'll agree. Either way, its all back to normal now. I couldnt get access to the blog at all yesterday. Really feckin annoying. With the exception of the graphics, which have to stay the way they are for the next week. And the icing on the cake, this following email arrived in the inbox this morning.

Re: YoUr LiTTlE BlOg

ItS AlLs YoURs ViCkY BoY. YoU ArE AlWaYs On aBouT AsSeS bEiNg PuLlEd oUT PeOplES CHEStS. WelL, lEave ThIngS ThE WaY THEy ArE fOr the WeEk aNd You WOnT FinD ouT HoW an ASs RiPPEd ThrOuGH YoUR CHESt FeeLS lIKe.


Other than that, its all back to normal. My take on the Dark Knight will be up here around 5ish today. I cannot wait to see this flick. Im so excited, Im going to the cinema without no pants on! It'll save me doing it during the flick :)

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Why so serious you FREAK!!!!!!!

IvE grOWN BoREd wiTh YoUr BlOg


ItS YoUrS tO PoSt YouR ShiT oN aGaIn

DoNt ChaNgE aNy Of mY HaNdY WorK fOr 7 DaYs oR YoU kNoW WhAT WIlL HaPPEn

SeE yA ArOunD FREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I cAn HeAR yA ViC

WhO ARe ThE FrEAkS oN AiR?

11:45pm :)
11:45pm :)
11:45pm :)
11:45pm :)
11:45pm :)
11:45pm :)
11:45pm :)
11:45pm :)
11:45pm :)
11:45pm :)
11:45pm :)

yA BiG fReaK, JUSt LiKE mE

AbOuT tiMe ViC

I KnEW yA wERe a BiG FrEaK

I tOlD Ya

dId YA LIstEn? I hOpE sO

EnJoy PrEsENTinG yOuR FrEAk ShOw ToNigHt


aND reMeMBeR wE'Re JuST a COUplE of FrEaKS

I AlmOst ForGoT

TeLl thE BaT to gO FuCk HiMsElF

9:35pm :) 9:35pm :)9:35pm :)9:35pm :)9:35pm :)9:35pm :)9:35pm :)9:35pm :)9:35pm :)




4:45pm :)


WHY SO SERIOUS, VIC????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

The one with something you dont see everyday!

Whats the deal with the leopard? Obviously, a croc isnt on leopard menu. Maybe it'll use it to make a new pair of boots.....

All pictures by Hal Brindley/SOLO Syndication.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

The one where its all back to normality

Its been a long few days. Over the weekend, Gus decided to make shit of one of his nails. So in between binning a John Rocha t-shirt which got soaked in doggy nail blood and being up at the crack of dawn, Im counting down the days to the holidays, to say the least.

Anyways, thanks to all the staff at the Gilabbey Veterinary hospital for all their wonderful work as always. They do an amazing job in there. And to top off the nail fillet that Gus had to get, they had RedFM on in there as well., which is always a good thing! But the main thing, is Gussy is well and truly on the mend!

Well, as predicted, The Dark Knight gave Spiderman 3 a good few digs and beat its opening weekend record by around 4 million. $155 mill + for 3 days. Roll on Thursday afternoon. Full review online at some point that evening. Not that people need another review saying how good the damn thing is. But, it'll be on here, just in case there are still some people living under rocks.

On a final note, check this out.

Extinct, my ASS! from The Original Joe Fisher on Vimeo.

And no it doesnt rip anybodies chest out their arse. Which to some, may come as a disappointment.

Monday, July 21, 2008

The one with nothing

Righto, no blog today as Gus has had to go to the Vet to get an operation on his paw. So tis all hands on deck, as opposed to all hands on keyboard :(

Saturday, July 19, 2008

The one with the Wall-E Review

Back in the day, I don't know did anybody think that the Lucasfilm Computer Graphics Project, would evolve in Pixar Animation Studios. When Steve Jobs handed over a few bob for them way back when, did even Mr.iPod think that they would turn out they way they did. For years, Pixar has set the level, to which all others have followed. Dreamworks got in on the animation deal with the likes of Shrek. Blue Sky Studios did the same with Ice-Age and ever since, we've been inundated with computer generated, animated movies. And unfortunately quite alot of them have been shite.

Pixar's work has always looked outstanding. That said, Dreamworks made Shrek look very good. Ice-Age turned out pretty cool as well for Blue Sky. But!!! And theres always a but, Pixar always had amazing stories to go with the amazing look of their movies. And thats where alot of other animated features have fallen apart. Their story side of things, couldn't even cut a sliced pan!

Wall-E is yet another amazing feather in the cap of a company I wished to work for, many years ago. Andrew Stanton is in the directors chair, who's previous writing credits include Finding Nemo and Toy Story. And man, has he come up with goods again.

In a little nutshell, which is the sweetest one you'll see all year , Wall-E is a robot. Yes, he's got the big eyes and the cute mannerisms, kinda like Johnny 5. His days are spent stockpiling rubbish on earth. Its a different Earth at this point though. Everyone has fecked off somewhere else. The planet is just one big rubbish dump. Skyscrapers of rubbish dot the landscape. All created by a variety of Wall-E's, who were invented to clean the planet up and load a few space ships with rubbish. The ships would then bugger off into space and get rid of the rubbish. Happy days, for a while.

Wall-E is the only one left on the planet and has only a little cockroach as a physical companion. That said, he has a huge collection of rubbish in his storage unit. Wait till you see Pong, or the VHS deck playing Helly Dolly, through an iPod video. After much of these hilarious antics, EVE arrives. She's looking for signs on the planet coming back to normality. Wall-E falls in love and follows EVE onto a rocket and the story continues in an intergalactic mode. As a gift Wall-E has given EVE a plant that he found, a sign that life is sustainable once again on earth.

From that point on, the story revolves around the plant and Wall-Es obsession with EVE. The plant is the key item for the intergalactic cruiser and its hover chaired inhabitants, to return to Earth. I don't want to give too much away from here on in, but its a great story. There are genuine moments in the film, towards the end that the whole cinema was absolutely quiet. Nobody farted, nobody even took a breath. And its moments like this that you know Pixar has done it yet again. They made you fall madly in love with an animated Robot. And keep in mind, this was a late show at 11:45pm with zero kids and nothing but adults in the cinema!!!!

Excluding the fatter, lazy human folks, there is very little dialogue in Wall-E. Beeps, Blips and a wide selection of robot sounds make up the conversation. There is no sub-titles or anything of the sort. You don't need them, because you understand every single thing that's going on. Every blip, buzz and motion means something. The man behind the sound of Wall-E, Ben Burtt has done an amazing job. But this is the guy that injected life into R2D2 back in the late 70's, so theres no surprises there.

Wall-E looks and sounds amazing. As a movie, this is one of the sweetest intergalactic love movies you will ever see, animated or otherwise. If this movie doesn't warm your heart, then there is a good chance your actually dead.


Thursday, July 17, 2008

The one with who???

Originally uploaded by vicbarry.

The one with Terminator Salvation

This appeared last night online

While its not pants removing time yet, I've opened my belt.

Im a huge Terminator fan, and maybe its just me, but the actor who brought the Terminator to life on screen and gave him his characteristics, is nowhere to be seen in this one. And at this present moment in time, and I never thought I'd say this..a Terminator movie without Arnie is just what the doctor ordered....maybe!

The one with the mystery sound!

Here tis la, it drove people nuts since Sunday. And no winner. No Cork Talks Back Mystery Sound Scene coming soon...

And, the angry kid. Being floating around for a while, but still absolutely hilarious :)

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

The one with the most random video you'll see all day

The one with amazing things....maybe....probably not

Some form of normality should return to the blog over the next couple of days. She who must be obeyed is on holidays and we decided to get a skip and get rid of some shite that's been hanging around for far too long. So Sunday was spent in Woodies deciding on which one of them Baby Skip yokes to buy. We didn't have much to get rid of, as I thought. In hindsight, we probably should have got the one that was capable of carrying a small ocean liner. Like a dirty, cheap hoor, we filled it up within 30 minutes. That took away a bit of blog time and other time, but tis sorted now. Not that anyone gives a flying fuck. Why would you?

"Oh yeah, yer mano from RedFM filled up a skip this week. And twasnt even a real skip. Twas wan a them bag jobs"

"Really, fuckin hell. At least he didn't kill any hookers this week or throw a few televisions, horses or goats through any hotel room windows."

"Yeah, that's true alright. Pity that"

One of the topics on the show last night, was a little bit titillating. Some might say, it was one of the breast topics yet. And so on and so forth. Come up with your own breast / chest pun. M&S are charging more for DD+ size bras. No, while this doesn't really bother me, I'm pushing a B cup, alot of the female audience are a bit peeved at the whole thing.
Is it not like other things, the bigger the size, the more expensive it is. XL and XXL and bigger sized t-shirts cost a few bob more. If something is comfortable, surely its worth an extra few bob.

Will the ladies of Cork start going around wearing smaller bra sizes? Will their boobs be bursting out of the said smaller bra sizes, akin to a fleshy version of Niagra Falls. I doubt it somehow. On the other hand, you can blame it on the recession if you want. I wonder how the people who have appeared on the front cover of National Geographic feel about it??? I cant see them paying extra for bras. They've got the right idea. Leave it all hang out. And worse case scenario, throw your tits over your shoulder!

The one with Boobies

The lads are looking for a charity to give all the proceeds from their single, Boobies (Out August 1st)

If your interested, drop by Shyhhy Records and email them.

Heres the vid....

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

The one with something...just

Being a busy couple of days, personally! So no great amount of time on my hands. Normal blogging madness should be back tomorrow. But in the meantime....

Thursday, July 10, 2008

The one with bonkes baby names, yes its the celeb ones

What follows is a selection of names, that celebs gave to their kids....

Aanisah: Macy Gray (also mother to Tahmel)

Apple: Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow

Astrella Celeste: Donovan and Linda Lawrence (also parents to Oriole Nebula)

Atherton Grace: Don Johnson and Kelley Phleger

Audio Science: Shannyn Sossamon

Aurelius Cy: Elle Macpherson and Arpad Busson

Blue Angel: U2's The Edge and Aislinn O'Sullivan

Bluebell Madonna: Geri Halliwell

Brooklyn: David and Victoria Beckham (also parents to Romeo and Cruz)

Calico: Alice and Sheryl Cooper (also parents to Sonora Rose)

Camera: Arthur Ashe and Jeanne Moutoussamy

Destry: Steven Spielberg and Kate Capshaw

Diezel Ky: Toni Braxton and Keri Lewis (also parents to Denim Cole)

Fifi Trixibell: Bob Geldof and Paula Yates (also parents to Peaches and Pixie)

Fuchsia: Sting and Frances Tomelty

Gaia: Emma Thompson and Greg Wise

Gulliver: Gary Oldman and Donya Fiorentino

Heaven: Lil' Mo (also mother to God'Iss Love Stone)

Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily: Paula Yates and Michael Hutchence

Hopper: Sean Penn and Robin Wright

Ireland: Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger

Jaz: Steffi Graf and Andre Agassi

Jazz Domino: Joe Strummer

Jermajesty: Jermaine Jackson and Alejandra Genevieve Oaziaza (previously married to Jermaine's brother Randy)

Kal-El Coppola: Nicholas Cage (Kal-El is Superman’s original birth name)

Kyd: David Duchovny and Tea Leoni

Lark Song: Mia Farrow and André Previn

Lennon: Liam Gallagher and Patsy Kensit

Liberty: Ryan Giggs

London Emilio: Slash

Luna Coco Patricia: Frank Lampard and Elen Rive

Marquise: 50 Cent

Memphis Eve: Bono

Moon Unit: Frank Zappa, also father to Dweezil and Diva Muffin

Moxie CrimeFighter: Penn Jillette (also father to Zolten)

Ocean: Forest Whitaker (also father to Sonnet and True)

Pilot Inspektor: Jason Lee and Beth Riesgraf

Poppy Honey: Jamie and Jules Oliver (also parents to Daisy Boo)

Rocket: Robert Rodriguez (also father to Racer, Rebel and Rogue)

Rufus Tiger: Roger Taylor also father to Tiger Lily and Lola Daisy

Saffron Sahara: Simon and Yasmin Le Bon (also parents to Amber Rose and Tallulah Pine)

Sage Moonblood: Sylvester Stallone and Sasha Czack (also parents to Seargeoh)

Satchel: Spike Lee and Tonya Lewis Lee

Seven Sirius: Andre Benjamin and Erykah Badu

Shiloh Nouvel: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie

Sosie: Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick

Suri: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes

Tallulah: Bruce Willis and Demi Moore (also parents to Scout and Rumer)

Willow Camille Reign: Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith

Zola Ivy: Eddie Murphy and Nicole Mitchell

While some of the above names may seem ok, by normal human standards there are a few that really make you ask "Was it drugs? Was it drink? or just plain Im a celeb and I'll name my kids whatever the fuck I want" I was planning on going into major analysis on the names, but whats the point.

Nicole Kidman called her sprog Sunday Rose. Mr.Chest McConaghey called his kid Levis or something. While there are enough Johns and Marys around the world to last us a lifetime, we dont really need any more Moxie Crimefighters or Lark Song. If there are any more, then people need a serious flake of a fist. I'd imagine some of the names take inspiration from things that mean something to people. But surely, a Lark singing its tits off is as good as it got for Mia Farrow. Come on!!!

People asked me last night, what I'd call my kids? For a boy, I've always said it'd be Lucas. Im sure you can figure out the inspiration.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

The one with bums being pinched

By all accounts, arse grabbing, buttock bashing or whatever you want to call it is alive and very popular in Cork. It seems to be the staple diet of a tribe of lads on a night out. "Yeah, gwan whooser, yer wan over there. Leave a mark whoosey, gwan biy." While on the other side of the gender coin, the ladies seem to be doing plenty of ball bruising and testicular tickles themselves.

My baby producing factory (note factory, not little workshop) has been grabbed on a night out by a random stranger on at least one occasion, and if memory serves me correctly, they werent giving out free medical checkups at the time.

Quite a number of listeners seem to think its a sign that someone is interested. Maybe it is a bit of harmless fun. Given the amount of single blokes out there, Id imagine theres not too many would complain when a random female stranger cops a feel of their lower fruit bags. Theres an oul cliche out there, that we are a backwards nation. Maybe this arse pinching is a bit backwards. In the times of fellas being chased around by Saber Tooth Tigers, they'd give some oul doll they fancied a belt of a stick over the head. Apparently, this implied that it was time to increase the population. So maybe this arse pinching is men going back to their tribal roots. Granted, sticks seem to have been replaced by glass bottles.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

The one with Pink

Pink wrapped up Live at the Marquee last night with a pretty shit hot gig by all accounts. While I wouldnt be a huge fan, Ive seen her live in the past and she puts on a great show. Either way, I was on air, as usual. Conducting. Yup, the Cork Talks Back car horn symphony orchestra had its last concert of the year last night, and what a finale it was.

Baring the following pics, taken by my fiancee, that is all.

Monday, July 07, 2008

The one with a link

Pretty cool!!!!!

The one with the mystery sound scene from last night

So there ya go. Last nights mystery sound scene, that was 100% correctly identified by only one!

Also, this is post 800.

Sunday, July 06, 2008

The one on a Sunday

Rock n Roll......................

Friday, July 04, 2008

The one with looks and personality

This date last year, we were at a Yankees game in Yankee stadium. Below is a shot I took at the game. This time next year, I'll be a few weeks away from being dragg....walked up the aisle. Currently, I'm sitting in the kitchen. Happy 4th of July to all the Americans. Anyway, enough of the whatever the above is.

Looks or Personality.....Well, let Google Image search help decide this little ol deeeebate.

I know who I'd be sending a birthday card too. But I wouldnt be sending one with a long, heartfelt message in it. Maybe a voucher for plastic surgery. Or a map to a desert island. I'd just send the other my number.

To be realistic about the whole thing, the majority of people first see the physical side of someone and then get to know the actual insides of the person. In more ways than one. Extremely good looking people hang out in packs and never venture too far away from one another. The average looking Joe soap also hangs out, but its in a herd as opposed to a pack. A mixture of the 2 species seems to be extremely rare, although stunning good looking women have been spotted around Cork, hanging onto ugly, rough looking men. I'm not sure whether its the attraction of "He's a dealer girl" or the "He'll knock you around the place luv" or what. But a mix of the 2 species has been found in Cork.

Personally, I find a certain amount of the beautiful people with their heads so far up their asses, its like the prison scene in Hancock. There as shallow as the Serengeti during the dry season. And when it comes to some luvin, forget about it. Ive found in the past and from various conversations over the years that the better looking the person, the worse they are in the sack. Its like your privileged to climb on top of them. "Hey, your fucking a good looking person. You want this. You do the work. Now hand me a mirror so I can look at myself"

In an ideal world, you should have both. Looks and Personality. But it never seems to work out like that. Someone, in my book, has to be able to hold an intelligent conversation. It doesn't have to about Nuclear Physics or the plight of the spear fishing monkeys in Borneo. But it has to be more than the "Ohhh my gooodddddd" "Hahahahahaha" shit that people can regurgitate. While, as Dave Mac said in the recorded piece last night, you'll give some good looking individual, who is a fool, a few goes. Theres not many people out there who would refuse a go on a stunning person. But when they barley flinch during the act(s) and can barley have a conversation, people go off and find someone, who can actually walk the walk and talk the talk!

All that said, the doorbell rang a minute ago. Someone flogging paintings. Someone from New York, flogging paintings. Normally, being the nice person I am, they get the door slammed in their face at hello. Kinda, the opposite of the "You had me at hello" in Jerry Maguire. But I listened to the spiel and even smiled a few times. Why? Because the person standing in the pissing rain, holding some dodgy art was absolutely stunning. Shit personality, probably.

I'm in Club Light (Mallow) Saturday night, which is now open until 2.30. So an extra half hour to shake your ass to some serious choonage!!!

Thursday, July 03, 2008

The one with a whole load of Dark Knight clips

Im still undecided whether the huge amount of clips that are coming online for the Dark Knight are a good idea. Either way, Im after taking off my pants for these! If I were wearing knickers, they'd be pulled to one side!

The one with cinema etiquette

I went to see Hancock yesterday. I left Hancock feeling a bit disappointed. I also left Hancock barely with my life intact. Well.....

Does anybody know how to remotely conduct themselves in a, what some would call, intimate public place. The majority of younger audience members either stunk of farts or piss with a high selection of the adult audience trying to conduct huge conversations on the phone. The ones who weren't busy telling someone in their phonebook, that they were in the cinema, were busy sneezing with all their might. At one point I thought something had happened in the cinema as there seemed to be a large mist forming. But it only turned out to be a spray of snot and mucus.

"Yeah, I'm in the cinema" " No, the cinema" "The new Will Smith flick" "I think its called Hancock" "Yeah" "Hmmmm" "Yeah" "Yeah, that's the one, where he tosses the whale" "Yeah". Shut the fuck up! Turn off your phone. You don't need to have a conversation on the phone during the movie. If its really important, they'll call back. Its 90 minutes of your life. None of us are that important. And speaking of important, if they cant get hold of you, they'll fuckin text you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe some of these savages are proud of the fact that they can sneeze and have to show the rest of us how its done. God help the poor girl that ends up snogging one of these piss reeking young fellas. Now I'm not getting on my high horse or anything, I sneeze and fart like the rest of you. But at least I'll try and keep my nostril projectiles until theres not a full audience of people around. And if I do sneeze around a group of lookers on, I'll put my hand over my fuckin mouth. Its not that hard! I'm sure these neanderthals use their hands for other things, such as pulling bananas down off trees and killing fish with spears.

I know its not everybody, but a good few people, would really want to wake up and take a shower. And put your hand over your mouth when you sneeze. You know, your hand. You spend enough time grooming your mates looking for bugs!

The one with the Skype laughter chain

As promised!!!!! Check the hyena dude!

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

The one with Hancock

Will Smith's latest movie opens today and I expected Hancock to be the sleeper hit of the summer. Something, nobody really saw coming. It slipped under the radar. For those of you who have drooled at the trailers, all which included many of the major scenes from the opening half of the movie, train stopping, whale tossing and so on. No doubt; you, like me, were thinking about removing your pants on the basis of the trailers alone. The trailers set the movie up and I wondered what amazing scenes were left out of the trailers. Not too many to be honest.

Hancock, is basically an alcoholic superhero and resides in LA. He causes bank loads of damage to the city and decides (on the advice of his new found PR person) to go to jail as there are 6 million subpoenas for him. His time in the slammer equates into plenty of bad guys running riot and low and behold the chief of police needs Hancocks assistance. Enter the new and improved Hancock. Enter the tightly fitting leather, superhero outfit. Enter the second half of the film.

After a more or less flawless first half, Hancock takes a turn for the worse. The story veers off in a bizarre turn of events, even though part of these events are predictable. There is no end of the world scenario for Hancock to get his mits on, so they drag the whole thing out, which inevitably involves Charlize Theron. Nothing wrong with that, but the majority of the second half of the movie. Come fuckin on!!!! You get to hear some of the back story about where Hancock comes from and....well, you'll see. I don't want to give away any spoilers. Other than the second half being a bit "What were they on?" the effects look good and big Will delivers great line after great line. There is hilarious laugh out loud and cough up your lungs scenes. The kid hurling, the opening car chase and of course the prison scene. Theres even a "Fuck word" in there. Which for a 12's movie, is great...for the adults watching it. And, of course, its set up for a sequel.

I think if Hancock, was at least a 15's movie with less of the second half and more of the heads up asses, we could have had a movie which the trailers led us to believe. I thought the movie was restraining itself at times, both in content and swearing. No doubt, its the studio shouting to capitalise on the young teen audience. Here's hoping there is a directors cut or an unrated cut that will arrive on Blu-Ray and DVD.

Great first half, let down by a WTF second half. In some of the trailers, there is a great scene where Hancock wakes up and attempts to grab some woman's ass as she walks by. He's too slow and misses the opportunity. Just like the movie, a missed opportunity. It could have been amazing. Either way - 7/10

The one with a forthcoming lowdown

Time permitting, I'll be giving my take on Hancock on here after 5pm. Might be earlier, might be later, but keep checking!

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

The one with sickness...(again)

For the last week, Ive been moaning about a constant dose of headaches, then over the weekend I started feeling queesy. Looking pale and queesy I railroaded through the show on Sunday night and more or less the minute I got home, it was pukeamania. It only stopped late last night and I feel like I've gone through a few rounds with Ricky Hatton, Mike Tyson and a mad, escaped donkey. I've never had any form of vomiting bug before, well not like the constant stream of a puke fest I experienced yesterday.

Either way, I'l be back on air tonight. As of now, Im around 16 hours puke free.