Tuesday, February 10, 2009

The one with Valentines

One of the topics on last nights show was are people losing their mind when it comes to Valentines gifts!

I spent a portion of last Saturday dealing with one of the cast members from Little Britain in a travel agent! Absolute pig who was busy getting dinner out of her nose as we walked in! Thankfully she never rang us yesterday, so fuck them! Their loss!

 I happened to wander around Easons and some other card shop and the amount of fellas clambering over one another to buy gigantic fuckin teddy bears that say I love you, was absolutely demented. Firstly, all of these bears and their little slogans, lie! They lie through their furry little holes! Them bears need slogans along the lines of the following...

And so on and so forth. Enough of the mushy crap! As many of the callers and texters highlighted last night, men buy these bears so they can get some action! And its kinda sad, that guys will go off and buy a bear to try and get laid! Its almost like a bizarre kind of prostitution. Instead of handing over money, guys are handing over bears!

And whats the story with bears anyway! How in the hell are they representing all things love! These are bad ass, hungry, killing sons of bitch bears! These bears will tear half of your skull off in a split second. And that's supposed to be representing "love". Next time I'm in Alaska I'll poke one with a stick and ask it for an opinion! Dear Jesus!!!! 

Don't get me wrong or anything! I say I love you at least once a day, but I wont be going off and buying any bears or shit! I used to. And Ger has our bed covered in them. Up until last week, when the dogs were deported from the bedroom forever, the bears were being raped on a daily basis, by the mutts! So no more.  If the only way you can tell someone you love them is by purchasing tacky shite one day a year, then theres issues! If the only way you can get laid is to buy huge furry, toy bears, then your probably better off getting some tissues....and using yer imagination!

Much love!