Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Morning all. Just another little update. We do believe that Vic will be making an appearance on here today at some stage. Again we do not have any more details than that, we only do his website. His people havent been forwarding any more info than that!

Thanks - All @

Monday, August 29, 2005

Normal updates of this blog will resume in the next day or 2. Mr.Barry will be returning from his mysterious abscence. We're not sure where he went or what happened, but it wasnt good. Thats all we know....honest.

Thanks for the support and thanks for reading

All @

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

After much anticipation, the legend that is Rip Taylor made it on the show last night. Again I say legend, great interview and lots and lots of fun. Hope ya enjoyed it!
The Dukes of Hazzard opens on Friday so check Rip out in the movie. Its been a slow day so far. Not much happening news wise in the way of the monologues.

The Rose of Tralee has finished and alls that left now is some mad Americans wandering around Tralee. No doubt telling everyone that they're related to the irish by means of their great grand uncle named Dinny Byrne, who once recieved a letter from someone who claimed to be irish which was delievered by Irish carrier pigeon.

For those of you driving around the Dunkettle area I do sympathise. I got caught there last night for around 30 minutes. I wouldnt mind but theres one of these big ass signs up that say Road Works until February 2006. For feck sake, Feb 2006. It wouldnt be so bad if it said Road Works until Friday or even if that sign started reading out jokes. I dont know something along the lines of "Drive slowly, because trust us, you dont want him to rear end you. We've seen him on the cameras!"

Tuesday, August 23, 2005


Really late today. Its been a mental morning and afternoon so far.Been preparing my submissions for the PPI Radio Awards today. Hollywood legend and The King of Confetti, Rip Taylor will be joining me later on this evening. You can check Rip out in the new Dukes of Hazzard movie from Friday. Im really looking forward to having Rip on.

Some highlights from last nights show!

Late N Live Top 5 things you don’t want to hear from a guy standing in a q in a chipper (22//08/05)

5 – Sorry to interrupt love birds, but Im just wondering what are the chances for a 3 some

4 – I used to work here and trust me, it might look like curry, but its not

3 – Ya, give me a quarter pounder of dog there boss when ur ready

2 – Chances are Ill throw this up in an alley on the way home

1 – I like my women like my chips. Hot and greasy!

A website selling the special county color g-strings has revealed that 90pc of those buying the sexy gear are men. I dunno, but some of the men that bought their county colors in a g-string say they just bought them for a bit of crack.

ANGRY bosses at Real Madrid have ordered their arrogant stars: “Be ambassadors for the club — like David Beckham. So now all of the Real team are gone off to have affairs.

I really have to run, theres something burning in the oven and Im fresh outta time.

Monday, August 22, 2005

My apologies to those of you who check this every day, as Ive not updated since last Wednesday.

First things first. I got quite abit of abuse last night about some of my comments relating to Mark from Westlife. For Christs sake people, lighten up will ya. I have nothing against Mark or anyone thats gay for that matter. My producer is gay and he couldnt stop laughing at the jokes last night. My idol DJ, Junior Vasquez is gay. I have alot of time for Graham Norton, hes gay. Ive spent a lot of time on the show promoting gay events and gay health issues. So for God sake get a sense of humor. Please!

Queer Eye for the Westlife guy airs tonight, exclusively.

For those of you that are still offended, I do apologise but Im extremely comfortable with peoples sexuality and do not make judgements on ones preferences. I also think fair play to Mark for coming out. A mate of mine came out only recently and says its the best thing he ever done.

I had a pleasant oul weekend with a very nice BBQ at a mates house. Too much beef and booze led me to a lazy Sunday, which basically had me stretched out on the couch drifting in and out of my Johnny Carson book and the Kilkenny / Galway match.
Keeping with the weekend I also got news of a huge guest who WILL be coming on the show in the next few weeks. Im not saying who it is, but I do believe its the first time he will be on Irish radio. So stay tuned to find out who it is!

Thats it for today kids!

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Im suprised this blog has fallen into my daily routine. I know some of you doubted my capability of regular updates. Shame on you...Bastards!

Late N Live Top 5 reasons P Diddy changed his name to Diddy (16/8/05)

5 – His other choice was Big Diddy P P

4 – Nobody wanted to buy his new aftershave, essence of P

3 – His new line of t-shirts which read “I Love The P” didn’t sell as well as he hoped

2 – Diddy sounds a lot less gay than P Diddy

1 –It really pissed him off the time he fell overboard
On his yacht and people started yelling P Overboard

A NEW medical device that claims to shift cellulite is set to become the latest weapon for the ladies. Lotions, potions and creams which promise to transform the dimpled cottage-cheesy skin that affects the thighs and backsides of women are now being challenged by a new remedy on the block - a laser-like device which uses heat, deep tissue massage and suction to reduce the cellulite look. Sounds good, finally looks like the scientists have got to the bottom of cellulite mystery.

BUZZARDS and nightjars are among long-threatened species of birds making a comeback in this country, to the delight of birdwatchers and environmentalists. Its bad news for the dogging community as the more birdwatchers that show up in an area, the less likely someone is to have sex on the top of their bonnet. Some doggers have been voicing their opinions on this saying the last time they saw a tit was when it stopped to eat some nuts.

Now that most of you have read the above, you've probably gone back to googling your name or something.
Anyway, Im still waiting on the price of the Xbox 360 to be released in Euro. I know its starting at 209.99 Sterling, which isnt bad. Ive kinda half promised my Xbox to me Dad if I get the new 360. Why do I get these mad notions to get one of these things, like everything else itll end up gathering dust.
The Late Night Midnight Munchie recipes have returned with a bang last night. Just outta the blue, like a hot piece of toast. We are going to run this for a few weeks, with a winner being selected each week. Basically I will go and purchase said ingredients, cook and eat whatever on the show. Theres some really bizarre shit coming in that people are eating. I might die or choke on air. I guess that would be preferable to getting a really bad case of the shits.

I managed to take in about an hour of day time TV today and had the misfortune of watching Extreme Home Makeover (Im sure you know that one). Whatever about the europeans doing crazy tv shows, our American friends really pile it on thick. Besides pimping the shite out this familys house, they also bought the Dad a Ford F 250 Truck and one of the daughters a Mustang. Good god almighty, they're ratings must be savage to say they can do all this. I cant see RTE doing the same over here can you. Alright maybe an oul 2nd hand Toyota Hilux and a 95 Honda civic maybe. Oh and some new non floral wallpaper.

Leaving Cert results come out today. For most, its the best excuse they can give to their parents for coming home covered in puke and smelling like a pub. I hope all goes well for does who got their results today. I remember getting mine first time round, and lying to my slightly naive parents about the results. When they found out I had to go back and repeat. Repeating was a nightmare with some guys coming from other schools to repeat. Granted some of them looked like they were 34 and had done some hard time in Cork prison. It was around this time that I first started to grow hair on my face and the oul Dean gave me serious shit over it. In fact I had to shave it off or face expulsion. When one of the new "boys" grew a full beard, what happened to him. Shag all, thats what. The Dean was probably afraid, that this guy could have cut him to shreds with a rusty spoon. Apparently the rusty spoon shredding technique was quite popular in prisons back in those days.

Anyways, I must go off now and cook something called dinner. Dinner for 1 today only. God love me.

*************NOT A HOPE - Signed GOD***************

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Another week is here, hip hip hor-feckin-ray. Not much going on today to be honest, feeling a bit groggy for some reason. Must have been that pot noodle at 2 this morning. For the wrestling fans out there, I hope you didnt miss King Harley Race last night. It was a real last minute booking (see keeping with the rasslin lingo) and at times he was playing the heel card (even more rasslin speak). I was honored though to talk to such a legend as Harley. Harley is old school, and things got off to a rollickin shit start when his actual WWE bio that I had was wrong. Yeah, I picked up his bio on and some of the stats were incorrect on it. So Harley took great pleasure in pointing out the correct version.

Tis nice to see the ould sunshine make an appearance again today. Im so thrilled Ive picked the scab off me leg and donned a pair of shorts. Thank christ the neighbours are on holidays. Danny The Dog (Or Unleashed as its called here) arrived yesterday, and being a big Jet Li fan I was not disappointed. Jet actually acts at times in this flick, but the fight scenes. Christ almighty are they brutal. The last time I saw fights so violent was the time I saw a fella go head first through the window of Burgerland on Oliver Plunkett St, back in the day. So check it out, its released this week I do believe.

So thats it, but keep in mind a certain Playboy may be on with us in the weeks ahead. Stay tuned!

Oh yeah, I almost forgot (Sorry I know most of you were happy to coming to the end of todays bullshit). Era feck it, Ill do it tomorrow!!

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Cheers and Tears

For those of you that are reading this, who atteneded the preview screening of the Island last night, I trust none of you got injured as it rained sweets again. It was a packed house and by all accounts the movie was rockin. Looks like Ill have to get along to see it during the weekend. Its also nice when people come up to you and say that they enjoy the show. I appreciate that. God only knows what they thought last night though. Dressed in a suit (no tie mind) with 400 % humidity might not have been one of brighter ideas. At least the lights were dimmed in the actual cinema itself. After an oul bit of banter, shouting and so on, I made a hasty yet sweaty exit.

I didnt get off to the best possible start on the show last night, due to a minor technical glitch which resulted in no phone system. But our loving engineer promptly sorted it out. Granted I had to drag forward some bits from later on to keep things moving. What about Vincent Foley and The Red FM Casio Cabaret Orchestra last night. I cant remember the last time I heard such such an arrousing selection of melodies. Hang on, maybe that should just be rousing!

Im heading in that bit earlier today, so Ill leave it at this. By the way, later on I will be giving away a very cool prize for the Cobh Regatta. Check!

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Morning, Afternoon, Evening. This is going to be a short update today as Im up to me nipples in meetings and what nots for the afternoon and I have to leg it to the Gate cinema to announce the Island movie at 7. Loads of emails this morning regarding our big debate last night on the boy racers. Look for this on a rewind in the very near future.

Also make sure you check out the show tonight as for the first time ever, we will have our very own house band. Well, Vince and a keyboard. Letterman, Leno, O Brien, Ross all have their own bands so tonight, its my turn. We should be opening the show with a stirring live rendition of chopsticks or amazing grace. Deadly serious, well not so much about the chopsticks or amazing grace.

Late N Live Top 5 things you don’t want to hear from someone making your breakfast roll (9/8/05)

5 – God, are you sure you should be eating a large roll, you look like your going to get a heart attack

4 – Yes my hands are clean, I just washed them last week

3 – Look we’re out of ketchup, I could cut myself and bleed into your roll if you’d like

2 – Yes Sir, we gurantee these sausages were alive 3 days ago

1 – God I hate working here, they don’t have bog roll in the jacks

Right, Im laters!

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

After a long week off (believe me it was long) I came back on air last night. What a relief. It beats doing the house work anyway!

Late N Live Top 5 things I done over my holidays (8/8/05)

5 – Snuck back into the station in the middle of the night to steal coffee and bog roll

4 – Rang RTE and thanked them for putting my tv licence money to good use

3 – Stopped wearing pants

2 – Shot a photographer at a party hosted by Britney Spears

1 – Like everyone else, Paris Hilton

At this point hes fucked off to lunch (Ed)

Right, back from lunch and what a shit lunch it was too. Well hold on, maybe shit is too strong a word. I do like to eat out (ladies take note) from time to time and today we decided to go off for a lunch. Burger didnt taste like beef to me, more like deep fried pony. Of course deep fried pony is a delicacy in some countries....isnt it? With a nice side of an army of ants and crying bloody kids, it was a wonderful dining experience. Seriously though, I can appreciate parents have to go out for lunch from time to time and bring the little carpet crawlers, but for christs sake...shut them up. Or there should be a special section for them or something. So now thats my (un)interesting tale for today.

So thats it for today kids, but now a special treat. The following may or may not be used later on in the show

I read today that Michael Jackson flew a Ferrari to Bahrain. I know a lot of you listeing think hes crazy but cmon, if the guy can fly a Ferrari out to Bahrain give him so credit. I mean howd he get the wings on?

Chances are its the funniest thing Ive written all year, so no doubt it will make an appearance!

Monday, August 08, 2005

Holidaze are over

Well the sun is shining, and that can mean only one thing. No, its not a spell of good weather. No it doesnt mean time to lie out in the garden with yer tits ahoy. Its time for the outdoor shower system I invented with a watering can and a can of Lynx. Oh yeah, tis back to work time too. I wake this morning at 6am, 7am, 8am, 9am (you get the picture) and at 10am I decide to crawl out of bed. Being the lazy hulk that I am, I think about asking one of the neighbours to run up to the shop for a breakfast roll...but the bastards are on holidays. So I do it myself, and man is it disgusting. Its so disgusting that I eat all of it.

Finally at around 11am I open up the much loved Microsoft product, Word. 12pm comes, and nothing is written or even typed. My head hurts and my copy of Sin City hasnt arrived. By 2pm we're done..kind of. I have a skit to record when I get in, put together a show reel, and Vince is stepping into the other fellas shoes for the week so Ill be offering him my hand in assistance.......NO, not like bloody perverts.

I am looking forward to getting back on the air tonight as some people have said to me that they missed my amazing interview skills and stupendous humour. Part of what you have read may well be a lie.

Anyway, tis now time for lunch and a round of golf...on the psp. Then Ill be trawling around the net for other interesting tidbits, that will be of interest to my audience.

So, talk to y'all at 9pm!!!!

Friday, August 05, 2005

Well the highlight of this week off so far has been winning 100 squids on a roulette wheel online. The cheque arrived and was lodged this morning faster than Jude Law getting caught on top of another nanny.

What a night I had in the bedroom last night. 2 hours I was at it, if not more. Balls all over the place, and no matter how hard I tried...I still couldnt get a hole in one. That Hot Shots golf is pretty good alright.

I always enjoy getting back on the air after a break. Theres a great feeling of refreshment. I think! Back to writing Top 5s and my ever so "humorous" monologues as well. I do stress the word humourous!!

New ratings are out near the end of August, so Im waiting with great anticapation. Cork Talks Star Wars will be going in for the irish radio oscars and probably the show as well...but more on that as I get it.

Anyway for those of you who have read these miserable lines of shit text, thanks....!

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Holidaze clearing now

Well the oul holiers are almost done. Although as someone said to me today, "Stop your fucking moaning, you have another four days left". Tis true ya know. So Vic, tell us how the holidaze have been so far.

Well today for example we got the stairs carpeted as well as the landing. My copy of Hot Shots Golf has been teeded off on my PSP, so yes its really riveting shit altogether. Those of you who felt I was going off on some drunken binge with hookers and a donkey in some far flung part of Mexico, well no doubt, now, be feeling very, very, disappointed.

I feel I must address the Vibes And Scribes Wrestler or the ex-wrestler (whatever). May I just say, Sir, many the night you made me laugh with your texts to the show. With that, I say...Thank you. I yearn for the day to see a piledriver off the stairs in V&S. To everybody else thats left comments, Thank you too. God Im sounding very emotional today, for some reason. Maybe its because theres carpet under me feet.

So thats it kids, thanks for reading. Ill be here tomorrow again, no doubt. Filling you up with tales of hookers, drunkeness and donkeys...hang on theres only one donkey......Sorry!

Anyways..Ill leave you all with a picture I spotted today....

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Holidaze Day 2

Yes Im still alive and all that jazz. I feel that for once I got value for time yesterday. Got alot done ie went on a cleaning spree around the house, had some serious Fifa action on the Xbox at 1 in the morning which was precedeed by some breasts in buns.

I also managed to take a quick paddle down in Garryvoe. Tis the rock n roll lifestyle all right. So nathing else going!