Monday, July 28, 2008

The one with a Spider Pig sequel

Well, the bottom of the barell has been scraped for the title and Ive just opened another one for the actual content. Hang on...right..something of interest..just in time for the lunchtime blog rush.

For years now theres always been a manner of strange shit making the news from, not Ballincollig, but China. You know the sort, man grows horns out of his head, 2 headed cats and a monkey that smokes cigarettes out of his arse. For quite some time now, Ive always wondered just what the fuck is in the water in China. Is it heroin? Is it that bug that got into the water supply in Galway? Is it Alien ejaculate? I really don't know, but its some crazy shit either way.

So, whats come out of China to warrant such a blogging....

Well, for those of you who are fans of the Simpson's movie, no doubt you will all have taken off your pants and skirts for the Spider pig part. You, like I, no doubt have sung that song on many occasions. Primarily at weddings and funerals no doubt. So with the Spider Pig in your mind...take a look at this......

"It’s hideous. No one will be willing to buy it, and it scares the family to even look at it!" Feng told Oriental Today. He says the piglet looks just like a monkey, with two thin lips, a small nose and two big eyes. Its rear legs are also much longer than its forelegs, causing it to jump instead of walk.
That's the lowdown. A monkey pig. Now is this the alien ejaculate that I spoke of, getting into the pigs drinking water. I'm no scientist, but I would think not. Is there some bizarre cross species breeding going on? Again, I'm no scientist, but Id imagine some horned up monkey is responsible for this. It may even be one of the monkeys that smoked fags from its hole. How does something like this happen? Were there dates and dinners? Was it planned? Or was it one of them "What dya mean you didnt wear a condom?" moments. Then; said monkey decided enough was enough, and his fetish for pig humping was over. He then went back to smoking fags from his backside. Up a tree somewhere.

I suppose whats happened in China; brings a whole new meaning to the game Cork Gentleman play, Pull the Pig!!!! Obviously this game has now spread to the indigenous monkey tribes of China!

Enjoy the rest of your lunch!