Monday, November 05, 2007

The one with lawnmowers

Those of you who are idiots with all things mechanical, like me, will appreciate the following. I had all plans for Sunday being one of those lazy, lazy days. You know the ones, breakfast at 2, vedge out in front of the tv and crawl into work at around 8. Well, no breakfast at 2, very little tv but I did manage to crawl into work around. After what counts as one of my most embarassing moments of the year, if not the last few years. Ger had kept hinting at cutting the grass so to keep the peace I dragged out the lawnmower and mowed my way through the jungle. After finding my way out of an amazonian like garden and discovering a few new species living the back garden I thought it best to clean the lawnmower. While this cleaning was going on, the clutc cable managed to unattach itself to the "dead mans hand". Using my mechanical know how I checked the other cable which was attached with a hook like device onto the self drive handle. I spent the next hour searching the garden for this hook like yoke, which I was convinced had shot off into orbit and had crash landed nearby. I eventually gave up and put my jungle clearer back in the shed.

It annoyed the arse out of me as the lawnmower is only a couple of months old, so on Sunday morning I rang the nice people at Woodies. They were quick to inform me to bring back the lawnmower and they'd check it out. So, the grass covered lawnmower was put into the lawnmower carrying machine and we ended up in Woodies. Minutes later I was wheeling the beast through Woodies leaving a nice little trail of grass in my wake. More minutes passed as I stood at the customer service desk. I heard "thats yer man from RedFM" in the background, which further added to the embarassment. Finally a manger arrived, took a look and after me swearing that the hook had disappeared, he said he didnt think there was any hook at all. He then decided to bring me and the lawnmower down to the very end of the store where a display model was lying in wait. A quick inspection, left me feeling like a passenger on the Titanic as it was going down. He was right, there was no hook. The clutch cable had just fallen out of the handle and needed to be reattached. He completed this task within a nanosecond. I made some small talk, which involved the use of the F word on numerous occasions and I started the long journey back to the car. A small child nearly got run over in the store by my jungle clearer, but in fairness his parents shouldnt have been letting him run around the place. Subtely the manager let me out the fire exit and that was it. All I could do was laugh. For years Ive been watching the Teutuls build motorbikes on American Chopper. Ive also taken in years of American Hot Rod and various other car and bike shows. You'd have thought that this would have had some mechanical influence on me and I would have been able to solve said problem with the mower. Well, its a lawnmower, not a car.......or a bike! Thats my excuse and Im sticking to it. I may also be an idiot!!!!