Why stop the trend of the week so far...on this blog at least. Every other blog has being doing it for years.....

Kevin Federline is on the left, some weasel with a microphone on the right!

I wont ask about this one and neither should you. Some graduation party though!

Cameron Diaz, just doesnt have it anymore..for me anyway. In the above pic she looks like shes gonna read a few fortunes....or sell a few carpets!

Moscow apparently!

Britney Spears has filed for divorce from Weasel Federline. Who ever said this woman was stupid and brain dead was way out of line. Shes just a bit slow. She did divorce him...eventually!
Whats going to happen to K-Fed. I stand to be corrected, but I dont think they have a pre-nup, so he'll get a few million no doubt. Or will he? After all, dont pre nups start the moment you get married. Britney hasnt worked since they got married so maybe he wont get enough! I feel sorry for their kids though. They havent had a real Daddy yet and who knows when a real one will clamber into bed for daddy duties with Britney!

Air Freshners are wonderful, arent they? They disguise the smell of dog piss and shit quite well. They provide headaches for some as an added bonus. But recently enough, a new style of air freshner arrived. Im not sure when, but at least a couple of years anyway! The ones that sit on the wall on a little hook, that cant be removed without tearing down half the plaster board. The ones that take batteries. Yes, the automatic ones that take a canister of "Apple delight with a hint of burning dog" or whatever air freshner you can get into it. I wonder is it possible to get a can of Lynx into one of these yokes. Then the house could smell like "Africa"...hahaha...It wasnt really funny, but original though. Anyway, after a few weeks of these things running (we have 2) they start to sound like their dying. The wheezing and coughing out of them is just comical. It sounds like they've been smoking for 60 years and are on a death bed. Replacing the batteries would be the obivious option, but that just takes the fun out of it!

Thats my lot for today. Theres a puppy downstairs that will eat an entire table if I dont go down and feed him...and the freezer is full of chocolate cocks!

As I ended with some pics yesterday, Im gonna start with some today and not forgetting the Kanye West moment. In other words, Ive got feck all to say really....






Yes, that is Jeri Ryan sprawled on the couch! Its amazing what plastic surgery can do, looks like the effects of Montrose have finally disappeared! The other pics, you can have your own fun with a "Fill in the caption" game.

Most people need to drive and to do this most of them take a few lessons before applying for a test. These lessons can involve a driving instructor, a family memeber or just driving the shit outta some oul banger around a ploughed field! After all this people get into a car and attempt to drive it. For anyone that has watched any cop show or even The Sopranos, you will have some idea if your being followed or, to use the correct term, tailed. Its all about being that bit subtle or something. Well the guy that was driving about the size of a small penis away from my boot last night, didnt do a good job. The fact that his full lights and fog lights were on, really gave him away. The other thing that gave him away was he was mad trying to overtake me in order to block me off from escaping. You know the style, your in the middle of the lane and all you can see is his lights and mirror in your side mirror. BANG, side mirror gone off a bush, doesnt matter...he still wanted to overtake and kill me!

Theres not alot to be jealous of the Americans is there? I know there are many of us overweight, but not many of us look like King Kong done up in an Arran jumper. Nothing to be jealous of there really. Theres more lunatics than over here. Nothing to be jealous of there either. But the bastards have got Gears of War today while the rest of Europe waits until Nov 17th. So there is something to be jealous of there, well that and cherry 7up and...In and Out Burger! If theres anyone else out there looking forward to this digital feast on the Xbox 360, mail me with your gamertag or leave it in the comment box as I will more than likely be getting mangled on Xbox Live in a week and a bits time!

Before I sign off (!) what follows is the video of Kanye West at the MTV awards. Im not sure if the whole thing was staged, but having a microphone does imply that. It reminded me of WWE stuff, badly done. The meekrofone gives it away, unless of course Kanye arrives with a radio mic and manages to plug in the reciever to the TV feed and the studio feed. Either that or he asked some producer for a radio mic. I trying to imagine the conversation.

Producer "Yes Mr.West, how can I help"
Kanye "Yo, gimme a mic"
Producer "Am Im afraid I cant do that"
Kanye "Why the fuck not, Ive given you hours of musical pleasure, gimme a fuckin mic"
Prodcuer "That may be so Mr.West, but that nice bunch of guys are collecting THEIR award"
Kanye "Fuck them, I should have won"
Producer "Look Im getting a bit strung out here with you and your bullshit. Why dont you go off and touch the sky or dig up some gold"
Kanye "I am muthafuckin Kanye fuckin West, biatch"
Producer "Thats nice"
Kanye "Damn right its nice. You got any batteries?"
Producer "No why"
Kanye "Cos the muthafuckin radio mic I brought has gone flat"
Producer "Oh well"

Kanye goes off and finds an assitant

Kanye "Yo, assitant person, Im that crazy mutha, Kanye West. Im gonna be doing some of these fine ass bitches later on, get me some batteries for my fantastic plastic sex toy selection"
Assistant "Yes Sir"

Assistant goes off gets batteries.

Kanye "Now put them fuckin batteries in the fuckin mic, Yo"
Assistant "Yes Sir"

Kanye decides to get on stage and this is what happens!


The most important thing to remember here is he doesnt hold anything against the band! Which is a good thing!

Number 2 Bus Petition

I headed to Soho for dinner over the weekend and lived to tell the tale, which is always a great sign. Oh I jest, I jest. Great food! Saturday was spent with a few mates watching Mission Impossible III in The infamous Late Show Theater! We havent watched a movie in there in months, its mainly used for the 360. Either way, Tom Cruise seems all the more watchable with 1 to many! Sunday I was in Mallow and that was about the size of the weekend.

Eimear brought in Victoria Beckhams new book last night, which seems quite an indept book. I didnt think she could write, let alone write a book. But apparently its wrote by someone else. I stand to be corrected on that, but I dont care really. Missus Golden Balls, while she has never done anything personally to me, just gets under my armpits and bites! Dont ask me why, its just one of those things. Its like the people who hate my guts, they still listen, but they wished I was maimed or killed. Myself and VB have a similar arrangement! Now that I look at the screen, we even share the same initials.

Looks like Saddam will be hanging around for a while...oooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Who cares to be honest, I know it doesnt bother me. To be honest, he's getting off lightly. The should finish him off with a group of trained killer monkeys, who will take at least an hour to kill him. That might seem a bit extreme to some of you, but tell that to a few Kurds! What the army of killer monkeys should use as weapons of death, is beyond me. Suggestions in the comments box please!

The next few weeks are some of the most important, if you are a gamer. No I didnt day gayer for the dyslexic of you out there. Emergence Day is coming on the 12th, the yanks get Gears of War tomorrow and we have to wait till Friday week (17th) before Europe can start kicking some alien colon! If you have no idea what Im on about, let me put it like this. Well I cant put it anyway to be honest, but its the most awaited game for the last year at least. This is one of the reasons I bought a 360 in the first place. We might be having our own Emergence Day "spectacular" in the not too distant future. Im not sure yet, but the calls have gone in!

As its Monday, I shall leave you with some "eye candy"

Another week goes by and another Friday blog update begins the same way! Its been a very busy week on the show, especially after a bank holiday weekend, which can usually incite alot of sick days and people being in an alcohol induced coma. Lots of response to the "Should the morning after pill be more accessible". For some reason that Im still thinking about, I never gave out the results of the text poll. Well here ya go

85% of votes recieved last night were in favour of the ECP or morning after pill being available over the counter.

My own take on it is, it should be available. Its not going to start some made teen orgy around the country, thats going on already. Its a last resort! People would really want to come into a year called 2006!

If your a WWE Wrestling fan, do NOT miss the show over the next few nights!!

Yes Im alive, after last nights Halloween special.....just about. 25 stitches, a crutch and a months supply of grapes is what I have for my trouble now!

Another bank holiday goes by and the race to Christmas is on. I like Christmas, contrary to popular belief, but I absolutely despise the fuss that goes with it. People running around like headless chickens. I dont think Ive been in the city centre on Xmas Eve in years. Last year I ventured to Mahon Point early in the morning and that was about it! Ill do a selection of buying on the webinternet thing over the next few weeks and that'll be my lot. Im still cringing and suffering from empty reaching when I see decorations in supermarkets. Last week alone I had a brush with Christmas, which was a bit too close to call. We ended up in B&Q nosing around and of course the woman of my life spotted their large decorations display. Hence we came away with a small fortune of glisteny things, multi colored lights and a small sick bag. I have a family wedding a few days after jesus's birthday, so thats taking some of the sting outta Christmas....thankfully.
As I said I like Christmas, I just dont like the fuss...ahem!

My Xbox360 still hasnt blown up. If it goes this time, Ill be calling to Bills house personally. He probably has bullet proof windows but surely they wont stop an Xbox tied onto the front of a rental car travelling at high speed. Id also have a selection of tranqualisers for his trained chimp army!

Halloween went off without any hassle on the show at least. Lots of pissed off people out there if calls and texts are anything to go by. There shall be a follow up tonight. Theres still a selection of nuts and funsize heartattacks in multicolored wrappers down stairs as I speak. The children didnt call in their droves as was expected last night. Probably something to do with the fact that when the said "Trick or Treat" last year, I replied "Trick". No rabbits were pulled from hats, no children were sawed in half, nothing!! These days, and this has taken me years to translate, "Trick or Treat" means "Give us what ever sugary shit you have, or we'll stone your car and egg your house. Dont bother giving us any nuts or apples or any of that shite either, or we'll burn your house to the ground and egg the smouldering remains"

That is all for today. I shall leave you with a selection of photographic material!

Im in Club Light in Mallow tonight to kick off the Halloween bank holiday weekend! Doors 11:30pm!

Drunken Students
Snatch comedy troupe live in the studio
bucket loads of giveaways

and a WHOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEE lot more tonight from 9pm.

Sorry no time today, as a nice man from UPS delieverd my Xbox360 back from Germany. Im tryin to give it some TLC before it blows up again!