As I ended with some pics yesterday, Im gonna start with some today and not forgetting the Kanye West moment. In other words, Ive got feck all to say really....






Yes, that is Jeri Ryan sprawled on the couch! Its amazing what plastic surgery can do, looks like the effects of Montrose have finally disappeared! The other pics, you can have your own fun with a "Fill in the caption" game.

Most people need to drive and to do this most of them take a few lessons before applying for a test. These lessons can involve a driving instructor, a family memeber or just driving the shit outta some oul banger around a ploughed field! After all this people get into a car and attempt to drive it. For anyone that has watched any cop show or even The Sopranos, you will have some idea if your being followed or, to use the correct term, tailed. Its all about being that bit subtle or something. Well the guy that was driving about the size of a small penis away from my boot last night, didnt do a good job. The fact that his full lights and fog lights were on, really gave him away. The other thing that gave him away was he was mad trying to overtake me in order to block me off from escaping. You know the style, your in the middle of the lane and all you can see is his lights and mirror in your side mirror. BANG, side mirror gone off a bush, doesnt matter...he still wanted to overtake and kill me!

Theres not alot to be jealous of the Americans is there? I know there are many of us overweight, but not many of us look like King Kong done up in an Arran jumper. Nothing to be jealous of there really. Theres more lunatics than over here. Nothing to be jealous of there either. But the bastards have got Gears of War today while the rest of Europe waits until Nov 17th. So there is something to be jealous of there, well that and cherry 7up and...In and Out Burger! If theres anyone else out there looking forward to this digital feast on the Xbox 360, mail me with your gamertag or leave it in the comment box as I will more than likely be getting mangled on Xbox Live in a week and a bits time!

Before I sign off (!) what follows is the video of Kanye West at the MTV awards. Im not sure if the whole thing was staged, but having a microphone does imply that. It reminded me of WWE stuff, badly done. The meekrofone gives it away, unless of course Kanye arrives with a radio mic and manages to plug in the reciever to the TV feed and the studio feed. Either that or he asked some producer for a radio mic. I trying to imagine the conversation.

Producer "Yes Mr.West, how can I help"
Kanye "Yo, gimme a mic"
Producer "Am Im afraid I cant do that"
Kanye "Why the fuck not, Ive given you hours of musical pleasure, gimme a fuckin mic"
Prodcuer "That may be so Mr.West, but that nice bunch of guys are collecting THEIR award"
Kanye "Fuck them, I should have won"
Producer "Look Im getting a bit strung out here with you and your bullshit. Why dont you go off and touch the sky or dig up some gold"
Kanye "I am muthafuckin Kanye fuckin West, biatch"
Producer "Thats nice"
Kanye "Damn right its nice. You got any batteries?"
Producer "No why"
Kanye "Cos the muthafuckin radio mic I brought has gone flat"
Producer "Oh well"

Kanye goes off and finds an assitant

Kanye "Yo, assitant person, Im that crazy mutha, Kanye West. Im gonna be doing some of these fine ass bitches later on, get me some batteries for my fantastic plastic sex toy selection"
Assistant "Yes Sir"

Assistant goes off gets batteries.

Kanye "Now put them fuckin batteries in the fuckin mic, Yo"
Assistant "Yes Sir"

Kanye decides to get on stage and this is what happens!


The most important thing to remember here is he doesnt hold anything against the band! Which is a good thing!