Tuesday, November 18, 2008

The one about Irish men and their arses on TV

Today is one of those days! I was up early and the day is dragggggggiiiinnnnngggggggg. As I punch the keys its 14:58. It feels like it should be 22:43; to be exact. Plus, I'm battling some weird alien disease or something at the moment which, now that I think about it, could be something to do with time slowing down!

One of the topics I covered last night was this brothel in Prague, where plane loads of Irish punters are throwing their hairy legs over a hooker and in turn for free sex, their hairy hole is broadcast all over the adult channels. I even spoke to the manager of the place who explained that nearly 10% of the clientele are Irish blokes.  Now, like most normal people I'm not gonna turn off porn if it comes on the TV, or if I find it by accident on the Internet. Which happens to the best of us. Many moons ago, I'm talking back in the days when Burgerland was still in Pana, I even ran a Jenna Jameson fan page. Miss Jameson was a pristine porn star, with immaculate co-stars. Then I discovered amateur porn, which is great. Its normal; and people in the thing actually look like your next door neighbour, or at least someone you might have spotted in the local shop buying a sliced pan.

Whats going on in the Big Sister place, is kinda like amateur porn. But I don't know about the local Corkonian arriving at the door.

"Is this on the telly, girl?"
"Ja"
"Oh right, fuck, I dunno about this"
"Its OK, it only on satellite television"
"Thats alright so, me oul doll only has the aerial on the roof like"
"Ja?"
"So, ah, will, ah, I, ah, get me, aaaahhh gear off"
"Ja"
"Even me socks?"
"Ja"
"Right so! You too guuurrrll. Lets see them chats like"
"Ja, what you want to do"
"Errraaahh, whatever like"
"You want on top?"
"Ahh, no like. Herself always lies on her back. Id lurve somethin' different like. Ya know, I always get curry with the chips, but this waaan time they gave me mayo and twas daycent."
"Doggy?"
"Oh Jesus gurl, I'm not into that kinda thing at all. I thought about it once with a jar of bovril, but didn't bother in the end"

Don't think the lead in conversations from the Irish contingent would float too many boats. Maybe its just as well the majority of porn is watched with the sound turned off!

Out of curiosity, wheres the female equivalent of the above club?????

The one with shirts and stuff


make custom gifts at Zazzle

Came across this the other day on a quest to buy t-shirts! So nothing to serious, just shite for a laugh. Not that you'll off and buy these wonderful items or anything. Or will you????

Monday, November 17, 2008

The one with The Pana Fight Club shirt

The one with the bits from the movie bit

Trailers from The Movie Bit last night...


2012 Teaser


Harry Potter and the half blood prince


Star Trek


Watchmen Trailer 3



Sunday, November 16, 2008

The one with my take on Zack and Miri make a porno



Zack and Miri (Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks) are broke and decide to make a porno. What ensues is my favourite comedy of the year! Its not all tits and cocks though. Kevin Smith has come up with one of his best films and its certainly one of the sweetest movies you will see all year!
Thats all Ive got to say, its fuckin brilliant! Go off and see it!!!! Now!!!!

10/10



Poor distribution in Cork for some reason, and the only place Zack and Miri is showing is the Gate, The Reel in Blackpool & Ballincollig and the Parkway in Clon. 

You can hear Kevin Smith talking Zack and Miri tonight after 10 on Corks RedFM.






Friday, November 14, 2008

The one with Tom Clancys End War

I was never a fan of strategy games. I gave Populous some love back in the day on the Amiga, but other than that Ive kept well away from the command and conquer style stuff. That is, up until now. I got a review copy of Tom Clancy's End War yesterday and to be honest, I wasn't expecting much. Sure, I saw the videos and while it looked good, it still didn't seem for me. Plus it had what seemed like a gimmick attached. Control the game with your voice and your Xbox headset.


So, I fired up the 360 at around 2am this morning and 2 hours later I was damn well impressed. That voice gimmick, is far from a gimmick. Its downright brilliant. And it works very, very well and nothing beats saying "UNIT 1 ATTACK HOSTILE 1" and watching your Unit 1 go off and kick ass. You can control your entire army via your voice. Get them to retreat. Get them to secure a building. Get them to take cover. The only thing you cant get them do is do a little victory dance and run rampage around the place with a couple of strippers.

Theres a tonne of commands. And its all so easy to execute. Right trigger, and your voice. That its! Brilliant. I had never really experienced voice command until now and its such a different way of playing. Graphically and sonically the game is what it is. Fairly detailed but nothing that'll melt your mind. The presentation is superb with a great story line in the solo mode and over xbox live, well. What can be said! Its bloody superb. You and your mates will be hoarse from roaring commands for days. For something a little bit different, and for something that'll change the minds of the non strategy fans (like me) you could do no wrong by checking out Tom Clancys End War. I genuinely love it! 

8.5/10

That said, its probably not too wise to play it in the early hours of the morning. When I did eventually crawl into bed, she who must be obeyed asked me "Who the hell were you talking to?" I'm not entirely sure she believed I was talking to my Xbox 360.



Thursday, November 13, 2008

The one with Corks most annoying phrases

As compiled by my wonderful listeners...

CORKS MOST ANNOYING PHRAES

1. I’ll tear ya!

2. Go on ya langer!

3. Chalk it down!

4. How bad biy!

5. Your some gomey mog!

6. I wouldn’t ride her into battle!

7. Whats the crack? / Wats crack-a-lakin?

8. How col kid?

9. Im allergic!

10. I’ll mangle ya!

11. You’re an awful gooowwwwwlllll

12. Hows she cutting?



SPECIAL MENTIONS – Hows your mother for spuds and free gaff?
5 beef burgers, 3 battered sausages and a kebab

The one where its the blogs birthday!


I'm useless. Absolutely useless. I thought it was today, but after a quick nose through the archives, it was yesterday. Ladies, Gentleman and web crawlers, Down with my life is 4 years old!

I cant imagine the thing has lasted this long, but it has grown into a monster that now lives inside me, ala some Ridley Scott film. And to tell you the truth, I cant see it ever bursting out through my chest. I'm a regular reader of the archives and find it amazing at how the blog and yours truly has changed. Methinks I'll have to go back to typing the fuck word more :)

So, for the birthday celebrations, I'm gonna sit at home with a drink and a cake (If I feckin had one) and nose through the archives. Anyway, Ive picked the birth date date November 12th to take a look back at blog postings on that date, from the last 4 years.
So it begins....

2004
Finally crawled out of bed. Does anyone ever notice the longer you stay in bed the shittier you feel. All I know now is I have to bring the washing in off the line and settle down in front of Halo 2. Eircom people have rung saying my broadband is being processed so after 7 years of dial up I'm finally going to have a decent connection.
I'm starting to think about Xmas stuff already, but take alook at http://www.jonessoda.com Gotta love that turkey and gravy flavour. I might check back later.

2005
Nothing on that date, so I'll go with the date after (13th)
I was like Tom Cruise himself over the weekend, with one exception. He was running away from the Aliens, while I was chasing them. All the video shops kept the release date for War of the Worlds, which surprised me to be fair. Normally I get most of my DVDs from the states, but some titles recently are coming out here first.
You know your getting old when your in of a Friday night waiting to see whats on the Late Late and now you know your sad running around the place after a feckin DVD.
As for our caller Jane who needed a bit of help, from Thursday nights show I will be announcing in just under 30 minutes what we will be doing.
That's it for now kiddie winks. Laters

2006
Same as last time, twas a Sunday, so this one from the 13th...christ
A very later than usual update today. Last night I briefly mentioned "Anybody know what Emergence day is?". Many people responded with a few words..GEARS...OF...WAR... I replied to those who knew telling them about what will be happening on Thursday night!
What will be happening is the following! I have just recorded an interview with Cliffy B (the lead designer on Gears of War) and will be packaging up a whole piece which will run just before midnight on Thursday night! The interview with Cliffy was extremely fun! Lets just say many of you will be expanding your vocab to include "Horstashio". All shall be revealed.
I will ALSO have some copies of the most anticipated game of the year, to giveaway.
In other news, I have a brand spanking new copy of Gears of War on my desk! Roll on midnight!

2007
Nothing on the date again (for fuck sake) but there is something on the 14th
I still have the flu but it seems to be leaving me and going off on holidays for a while. So I shall be back on air tonight!
That is all. Move along!!!!

Well wasn't all that mon-u-fuckin-mental!!!!!! None of my amazing posts seem to fall on that day. Im currently around 50 posts away from 1000 and the goal is to nail that before the year is out!

On a final note, for those of you that read this and have done for quite some time, make this blogger happy and post your birthday wishes in the comments section. It'll make me feel all warm and hard!

The one with the Heavy Metal Farmer

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

The one with the Quantum of Bonds

Great oul mash up