Friday, April 17, 2009

The one with the mini movie review – Crank 2 High Voltage

Crank 2 kicks off where the original Crank ended. Chev actually survives the fall from the chopper. He is grabbed off the street by Chinese mobsters, who rip out his heart, and replace it with an electrical one, as Chinese mobsters do. From there, Chev goes thundering off around Los Angeles trying to find his heart and to keep himself alive, he need’s regular jolts of electricity.


That’s all there is to the story. Fairly straight forward. Kick the shit out of everything, lube up a shotgun, get electrocuted plenty of times, kick even more shit out of everything, shout fuck alot, have sex on a racetrack, shout cunt alot and kick the shit out of the shit that came out of the shit that got the shit kicked out of it originally. And that pretty much sums up Crank 2 High Voltage.


The most important thing to remember when going to see Crank 2, and I'm surprised the cinemas haven't provided a facility for this, is to leave your brain outside the door. If you walk in with your brain still all cosy and warm inside your skull, you will hate this movie. And I'm not talking about “I didn't like it, twas stupid” kinda hate, I'm talking about real dark side hate. The kind of hate that will ensure you wouldn't get parole!


The movie looks great. Its superbly shot and very tightly edited (think MTV) and has clever use’s of onscreen graphics, ala parts of Pulp Fiction. The soundtrack is as intense as the movie with plenty of toonage blaring. As for the acting, Statham is great, well as great can be in a movie like this. The rest of the cast (Amy Smart to mention one) are OK, again nothing amazing, but this movie isn't about amazing performances. Some of the set pieces are superb and the racetrack scene gets special mention as it’s like something that could be found in the deepest, darkest parts of the internet. And of course, the nice little hook is what way will Chev Chelios juice himself up next! That said there is one totally stupid scene, which is completely pointless. You’ll know when you see it! (Hint – Its in the electrical power plant)


Crank 2 High Voltage, is certainly not for the faint of heart. There’s plenty of sex, nudity and completely over the top violence. Its a great watch, once you leave your mind machine outside the front door of the cinema and don't go in expecting something epic. Anyway, I loved it, and had little trouble getting my brain back in afterwards. Roll on Crank 3!


On a final note, If Crank 2 High Voltage were a theme park ride, you would shit your pants… least!!!

8/10 (Rating based on brain being left outside cinema)
1/10 (Rating based on brain fully in head)