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ALEDGED NEWS 04 02 08

The Britney Spears saga has taken a unique turn according to an insider. The pop diva has, through a family member, purchased 6 highly trained chimpanzees to help with the house work. The 6, 3 year old chimps are have begun work on cleaning up Britney’s palatial home. Ms Spears bedroom has already being redecorated in banana yellow and the chimps have already drawn up plans to add a third story to the large mansion. At a cost of $4999.99 each, these interior design helper monkeys don’t come cheap. Already demands are being handed in to Britney. The chimps are refusing to work after 6pm and will under no circumstances start work before 11am. Allegedly!

Inside sources say Justin Timberlake’s nickname of Justin Trousersnake may not be too far from the truth. On a recent flight, Justin and his entourage were stopped by custom officials. 3 of the entourage, including Justin were taken to a private area and were asked to strip down to their underwear one by one. When Justin stripped down to his boxers, panic ensued as custom officers reached for their weapons as a 4 foot reticulated python fell out off Justin’s jocks. Allegedly!

The monster from Cloverfield, or at least the monster who played the monster in Cloverfield has just received news that it is to get its own talkshow. A cross between the Tyra Banks show and Jerry Springer, the as of yet to named talk show promises to be the most controversial piece of television since Janet Jackson showed off the breasts at the Superbowl. The first episode, entitled “My sister married my midget brother” will air on tv screen’s in May of this year. People can look forward to a fast paced talk show and at the end of each show; the Cloverfield monster is going to eat one of the guests. The guest to be eaten will be voted on by the audience. Allegedly