Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Wind from the ESE (110 degrees) at 12 MPH (10 KT) (direction variable)

Visibility greater than 7 mile(s)

Temperature 75 F (24 C)

Dew Point 59 F (15 C)

Relative Humidity 57%

Pressure (altimeter) 30.09 in. Hg (1019 hPa)

I dont know what much of the above means, but its something to do with the weather in Cork today, at around 13:30! I understand the temperature thing, while I always get confused between the F and the C I can figure out 75F is fairly hot, as is 24 C. Same thing really! The other stuff I have no understanding of, well with one exception. For many moons I have had a unique understanding of the humidity, or in the above case Relative Humidity. Todays is 57%, which means that its 57% more difficult to do anything strenuous. Which means its a good excuse. Either way I think the above figures are wrong, and it wouldnt be the first time either. Earlier on I ventured outside for my daily bout of exercise and upon my returning, dragging the dog who cant take the heat at all, I decided to remove the super bugs from bug country off the car. The lightly dampened sponge started to boil, my hands got burnt and the neighbours must have thought I was after going mad! I can appreciate that we get shite weather most of the year, which is all well and good but surely a few weeks of scalding sunshine doesnt make up for it. Its like the weather man in the sky is going "Oh shite, I forgot about Cork for the last 9 months, Ill make it up to em. Turn up the heat, stoke them coals!!!" Before you know it theres hundreds and thousands of us running around with right armed tans and bubbling bald spots. It also doesnt help that most of us go a bright red and stick out like sore thumbs walking around.

And another thing, theres plenty of people out there who think they have to go on a sunbed so the neighbours, or god forbid the tourists think that we live in a miserable wet climate. Its the same with the thousands of Corkonians who flock off to major Sun destinations in the next couple of weeks. Well, Santa Ponsa or the Canaries. As I write many of them are applying gallons of fake tan and crisping away under a sunbed. Yet most of em are paying €299 to go on a SUN HOLIDAY TO GET A FUCKING TAN! Or maybe its just a top up tan! Dont forget to pack the Celtic Jersey, the white shorts and bog roll! I know so many people who go off on a "Sun" Holiday and they bring their own toilet paper. All year round, they're scraping the arse with the cheapo loo roll, but when it comes to the Santa Ponsa trip no expense is spared. Its quilted all the way and theres a picture of a puppy on the package. What do some people think the Santa Ponsians wipe their holes with, or is the perception that they just go around wiping their arse on a patch of grass!

Chances are theres somebody reading this going "Era for Christs Sake, the wan bit of sunshine we're getting and hes off moaning about it". Tell me, whats good about it. You sweat like a pig, you cant breathe, your skin starts peeling, you could get skin cancer, the steering wheel in the car is on fire and so on and so forth. See nothing good about it. As a matter of fact for the last 2 weeks of this scalding weather there has been a fan on in our bedroom for 9 hours a night, at least. Its so humid, the windows are open and the fan is up to the second speed. No doubt theres a man in the ESB rubbing his hands and making the arrangements to get my next ESB bill delivered by Securicor. Maybe theres are one or 2 good things about the heat. People wear less, and after you dry off the sweat when you wake up, your generally in a good mood. Take this morning for example. Walking, make that thundering up the road, dog in hand I spotted a topless individual sunbathing in a green area. I was at a distance but I could still see tits, now they might have been male tits but as far as Im concerned there was somebody sunbathing with tits ahoy in a green area near where I live!

It was great to be back on the air last night, albeit a bit weird, but the groove was found after about 40 minutes and off we went! Anyways, off I go now...time for another walk ;)


Anonymous said...

how would you know people bring bog roll with them??? i bet your one of those people haha love the show!

Anonymous said...

Era jasus Vic, 24C thats a cool winters day over here lad! Now 41 or 42c now thats gettin a bit warm!
Glad to c yer up and runnin and back on the air! All the best from Da Unk!

Vic Barry said...

The bog roll thing, nothing to do with me Im afraid, but those who do shall remain nameless!

Cheers for the Paul!!!!!