The one with lawnmowers

Those of you who are idiots with all things mechanical, like me, will appreciate the following. I had all plans for Sunday being one of those lazy, lazy days. You know the ones, breakfast at 2, vedge out in front of the tv and crawl into work at around 8. Well, no breakfast at 2, very little tv but I did manage to crawl into work around. After what counts as one of my most embarassing moments of the year, if not the last few years. Ger had kept hinting at cutting the grass so to keep the peace I dragged out the lawnmower and mowed my way through the jungle. After finding my way out of an amazonian like garden and discovering a few new species living the back garden I thought it best to clean the lawnmower. While this cleaning was going on, the clutc cable managed to unattach itself to the "dead mans hand". Using my mechanical know how I checked the other cable which was attached with a hook like device onto the self drive handle. I spent the next hour searching the garden for this hook like yoke, which I was convinced had shot off into orbit and had crash landed nearby. I eventually gave up and put my jungle clearer back in the shed.

It annoyed the arse out of me as the lawnmower is only a couple of months old, so on Sunday morning I rang the nice people at Woodies. They were quick to inform me to bring back the lawnmower and they'd check it out. So, the grass covered lawnmower was put into the lawnmower carrying machine and we ended up in Woodies. Minutes later I was wheeling the beast through Woodies leaving a nice little trail of grass in my wake. More minutes passed as I stood at the customer service desk. I heard "thats yer man from RedFM" in the background, which further added to the embarassment. Finally a manger arrived, took a look and after me swearing that the hook had disappeared, he said he didnt think there was any hook at all. He then decided to bring me and the lawnmower down to the very end of the store where a display model was lying in wait. A quick inspection, left me feeling like a passenger on the Titanic as it was going down. He was right, there was no hook. The clutch cable had just fallen out of the handle and needed to be reattached. He completed this task within a nanosecond. I made some small talk, which involved the use of the F word on numerous occasions and I started the long journey back to the car. A small child nearly got run over in the store by my jungle clearer, but in fairness his parents shouldnt have been letting him run around the place. Subtely the manager let me out the fire exit and that was it. All I could do was laugh. For years Ive been watching the Teutuls build motorbikes on American Chopper. Ive also taken in years of American Hot Rod and various other car and bike shows. You'd have thought that this would have had some mechanical influence on me and I would have been able to solve said problem with the mower. Well, its a lawnmower, not a car.......or a bike! Thats my excuse and Im sticking to it. I may also be an idiot!!!!

The one with one of the more bizarre things you'll read today....possibly

Over the years, in life in general Ive been involved in a few bizarre situations but none more demented than what happend on Tuesday night. The show started as normal and got off to a rockingly good start about the provisional licence fiasco. Around 10:25, acting producer, Nuala came into the on air studio in a bit of a tizzy. Someone had got into the station by telling someone who was leaving, that they were there to see me and magician Keith Barry. I didnt think much of this, but at the same time something obviously didnt sound right. For a start Keith Barry hasnt been on the show in some time. I decided to throw on a scheduled track and wander outside with Nuala. At this stage, the said individual had disappeared into the ladies. After a long wait, she finally arrived out and I was introduced to her. I had no idea who she was and she keep insisting she was here to meet Keith Barry. When she was told Keith wasnt on the show she said that was alright and she'd wait for him. Again we asked her to leave, but no joy. Upon telling her that we would have to call security, she said that was fine and call security. A long 20 odd minutes rolled by until the Gardai arrived and eventually managed to get, what we later discovered was an escaped psychiatric patient into the back of the paddy wagon. During this 20 minutes I tried to keep the conversation going as did Nuala. It was a very unpredictable situation but thankfully it ended with no trouble and nobody got hacked up or anything. I kid you not, this is true. That was the reason a section of Cork Talks Back sounded like a six hit mix!
By the time it was all said and done we were a wee bit shaken but thankfully not stirred!

Thats it for today kiddy winks!

The one with fillings and other moanings

• Firstly, Happy Halloween! Whats supposed to be happy about it, is beyond me!
• On another note, theres an issue with the iTunes feed at the moment so if you want to download stuff, download it from here direct.
• Ive managed to get a filling today and my mouth is still throbbing away as the drilling was very close to the nerve
• Ive got a headache to boot
• For now, that is all. Apologies to all for expecting more. Come back tomorrow for a decent update, unless my mouth decidest to explode between this and then.

Until 9pm tonight!!!!!

The one with something ya wanna download!

The Kevin Smith Interview is available on iTunes NOW, so subscribe (on the right side of screen, scroll down) and download to your hearts content. Trying to get this one into the charts!

Or just download it direct from here

Ideally download it from iTunes and if it charts there may well be free cheese for all!

The one with, well its Sunday afterall

Kevin Smith - 11.20pm but given my bad time keeping that may well turn into 11.30pm

In case your reading this on Monday, we're off on the bank holiday but will be running the Kevin Smith interview again as well as loads of other best bits from the show!

The one with a bulletin board

Over the years plenty of people have been onto me about setting about a bulletin board, so out of complete board-em today, here it is.

Click here and register. Then get posting!! What the f%^k are ya waiting for!

Im going to be on there on a very regular basis, so have fun!

The one with Vic Casts

Righto, I'll keep this one brief, as me dinner is ready :) Ive started putting up Vic Casts on iTunes. Subscribe by clicking the pic down on the right. Or by clicking here

The Vic Casts will feature everything from Late Night Interviews, debates from the show and just random musings from myself and whoever else might drop in!

The one with one

Im only posting this one unless millions want more.....

The one with the obvious

Hello to all who have been pounding my inbox since yesterday evening. Lots of you have got excited regarding the Kevin Smith interview and you'll just have to hold tough till Sunday to hear the entire interview. I'm about to start producing it up today and tomorrow and it'll be ready to roll on Sunday night. Kevin was a dream (not in a gay way, I'm engaged!!!) to interview. Ive been a fan since Clerks all those years ago so it was a big highlight to chat to the man himself. The ould cliche of "Never meet your heroes" always comes to mind. I don't have many heroes and to be honest, if more peoples heroes had the attitude of Kevin Smith, the world might be a better place. Anyway, enough of the ass munching :) Sunday night, check it out and keep listening to Red for the promos!

The ongoing pain in the throat has been a major pain the ass over the last few days. Due to my self medicating degree Ive now decided its not a sore throat but more of a sinus infection. I'm full of flim which seems to have difficulty moving around and in my medical wisdom Ive decided its something to do with my Sinus. Next week, after a dose of decongestive tablets I'll finally give in and pay a visit to the doc!

Around 5.30 last night someone rang the station to find out was I announcing the Death at a funeral screening. I normally do announce the screenings but hadnt done so in a good few months. As this was a Cork Talks Back only screening I decided it was time to get back into gear and start announcing the screenings. But between all the stuff going on yesterday I completely forgot the whole thing until Eimear gave me the lowdown on the phone call. Our lovely Red Patrollers dropped me in and had a good oul bit of banter with the audience. I asked the mob if they had any questions and in between the "Are you single?" questions, some lady made the announcement that she was a big fan of sexually speaking with Anne Sexton on a Thursday night. The temptation to explore her comment even further crossed my mind, but these folks were here to see a flick and not start talking to some badly dressed pervert about their selection of battery operated love machines. Some other folks wanted to feel me up (whats wrong you people, do you need glasses) and a few more threw out their opinions on Steve Staunton. With that a barrage of free Haribo hit people full on, and we hit the exit.

The one with the announcment

Right, as promised the oul announcement. I wont bother beating around bushes, the man, the icon and the legend that is Kevin Smith WILL be on the show, UNCENSORED on Bank Holiday Sunday night.

The interview is in the bag and you do not want to miss it! Trust me on this one!!!!! Besides pimping out his new book, hear Kevin's take on the what would have been a great solution to the troubles that were in the North to Donkey Shows and everything else in between!

Pick the book up here