Fairly shortly, Google are about to jump into Internet history again, by releasing a beta web browser. Its called chrome. Its about to launch any minute now. No doubt there is a queue of geeks forming around their PCs and Macs as I type this. At some point this afternoon I'll go off and grab it, at my ease (says he who's checking the Google blog every 2 minutes) and have a nose. Maybe porn will look better on it, who knows.
The following may seem very, down the local shop conversation, but the weather is an absolute fuck up. I've got feck all opportunity to cut the grass and its so tall at this stage its probably easier to sell the house and move somewhere else, than cut the bloody thing. I'm sure I saw a lion wandering around in it yesterday. Maybe it was the lion that escaped from Belfast Zoo. But it wasn't a lion, it was a dog. That's some big feckin dog! How does one get a dog confused with a lion. Maybe it chewed on someones shoes as opposed to ripping out their stomach through their arse.
On another note, last night I made the startling announcement that there is no salt in RedFM. And duly started up the Salt Aid campaign. How this works is fairly simple. If you send me sachets of salt and include your name and address, I will send you a fantastic RedFM car sticker which is far better than putting a Nike stripe on your love wagon. So, salt sachets to
Victor Barry RedFM 1 UTC Bishopstown Co.Cork
And rest assured that you are helping a great cause. Think of the many members of RedFM staff that you will help! Don't leave us have chips without salt any more! Send your salt sachets!
I promised the folks at the Rebel Riders MCC to plug their event which is happening on Saturday.
The riders are doing a charity bike run on Saturday 6th September from Dunne's stores ballyvolane at 11am to macroom.If you wanna part take be there no later than 10:45am.
That night at 9pm in the Silverkey in Ballinlough there will be a charity auction and leg wax. Great prizes include signed cork g.a.a jerseys, cork city jerseys and jimmy barry murphy sporting items. The whole event is all in aid of marymount hospital. So give generously!
At times, I can lose the plot over the slightest thing. Yesterday, was another one of those days. I went looking for the power screwdriver, and couldn't find it. Eventually I found it, but it was too late as the red mist had started rolling in from the mountains. Another 20 minutes was spent looking for the screw driver bits, and they, like Paris Hilton's knickers, could not be found. By this time, the red mist was ripping its way through the house, so I was in pretty bad fuckin form.
Around 5ish we went off to Mahon Point and I ended up forking up some moolah for a jacket. The little bit of retail therapy brought a break in the red mist storm, but I was still in bad form. I suggested going to see Step Brothers, but she who must be obeyed didn't really fancy it. By the end of a Big Mac, it was decided we would go off and see the new Will Ferrell and John C. Riley flick. I felt a little laughter therapy would help the red mist storm!
So, to the story. Dale and Brennan become step brothers after their mammy and daddy tie the knot, after feeling each others internal milkshakes at a hearing aid convention. They hate each other and go about being nasty little feckers to one another. The first half of the film is non stop dick, fart and bunk bed jokes and it works absolute wonders. Couple this with some comedy violence and your on a winner, already. Now, as most of these movies go, inevitably the step brothers begin to like each other, thanks to velociraptors and wanting to shag John Stamos if they were women. And, they have to team up to solve a problem, which involves Dale and Brennan singing and drumming at the wine mixer! Im not going to gvie away the problem as its a little spoiler, but its probably quite obvious from the start of the movie. Riely and Ferrell, who many will remember from Talledega Nights, not only were involved with the writing, but look like they had an absolute blast filming this. The portray genuine child style hatred for one another and I dont think 2 other actors could have pulled it off the way the guys did!
Sure, the story is a little bizarre, with 2 grown men acting like little spoilt shits, but Step Brothers requires you to leave your brains at the ticket booth. Once you pop your brain out, sit back and wait for the pee dribbling to begin!
Movies like Step Brothers, will never get 10 out of 10s or 100s out of 100s, but they make you laugh until you get a little dribble of pee. The whole thing moves along quite quickly, and baring a few little hiccups not even worth mentioning, Adam McKay, in my view, has directed one of the funnier movies of the year so far. And whatever you do, don't leave until the credits are done, because what happens a few seconds into the credit roll, is worth the price of admission alone. I left Step Brothers with the red mist completely and utterly lifted and I pray to the Lord Jesus that there is an extended and unrated version for Blu-Ray in the coming months.
Like many things in this blog, this post may seem a bit "out there". But it makes sense, like every other post!
Its been suggested that I explain my sausage snobbery at length on the blog. An elaboration of sorts. Over the last few years, Ive had a great love affair with cooking, and I still do. And when you start removing your pants to cook books and frying pans, you pay a bit more attention to the actual food you buy and cook with. So a while back I started paying attention to the pork content in sausages. For as long as I can remember, any oul pack of sausages would have been horsed into the shopping trolley. Then, when I started the love affair with spatulas and the likes, we started getting sausages that had 80% pork content. How can I describe the difference?
Well, take the movie I am Legend. NYC was a desolate, barren but relatively safeish place by day. Wander around at night and shit would pull your brains out through you belly button and eat them. Its that much of a difference. Night and day literally. In the taste, in the texture and so on. While the 80% pork content sausages may cost a few cent more, you should never buy anything less. If you cant get 80% pork content ones, then 75% is all you should settle for. Otherwise, forget it! So hopefully that explains my sausage snobbery! 80% or bust! Read the back of the feckin packets! So anyway, and I'm in no way associated with them, much love goes to the Princes St. butchers, O Donovans!
So what else is going on? Not much really, bar the painting fiasco. Painter organised for Saturday, fucker never turns up. No phone calls, nothing! Maybe his horse broke down. So I painted the damn room myself, which completely defeated the purpose of paying someone to do it. Either way, I wasnt tackling the stairs, hall and landing, as Im too lazy, once was enough. So a far more reliable painter was organised and he done a good job yesterday. Only thing is, I had to get the paint made up for the size of the stairs etc. and when you get it made up, its never, ever exactly the same. 2 hours were spent until 3 am debating whether there was a tint of yellow in the damn thing, and yes there is. So repaint.com
And on a final note, my producer, Eimear bought herself a nice, new 450D Canon in Merica, and took this rather good shot. I normally dont look as happy :) And yes, that is one of the cooler t-shirts around!
Morning, afternoon and all those pleasantries. A while back I came up with a simple text poll that asked the question, are you listening naked. And over 1 in 2 people, listen to Cork Talks Back with Victor Barry, nekkid. Now, that poll is coming around again in the next few days, so get stripping.
Last night, another question was posed by yours truly. "Where are you listening?". Its easier for the audience to see what I look like via the web, but its difficult for me to imagine alot of the audience, naked or otherwise. So, being a curious fella, I wondered aloud where do people actually listen to the show.
Boats, Baths, Cliffs, Mountains, Tractors, Car Boots and Sheds were just a selection of what I got back via text. In particular, sheds seemed to be the outright winner when it came to where folks listen to the show. Maybe the show is some dirty little secret for alot of people, where they have to listen in private, in a shed. Now if your shed is like mine, its a nasty place. Things like the lawnmower, screwdrivers and Hulk Spiders live there. But either way, thanks for listening and thank you very much for continuing to make us the number 1 show for under 35s in Cork. And keep listening, in sheds or otherwise.
And on a final note, for those of you that are fans of sheds, what follows is a selection of shed porn. Enjoy! If your in work, this may be NSFW!
Theres nothing but talk of wedding dresses in the house of late. I just cant seem to decide on what I like. Vera Wang my arse. But that's something for another blog, or maybe a doctors office.
First week back and with God as my witness (granted a wet witness) its flown. I feel as if ol Doc Brown abducted me in a DeLorean on Monday evening, and dropped me off today. Might explain why I've got a funny walk.
One of the topics last night, was web addiction. No doubt, like many people reading this, you, like I, have a problem. Unlike one of the callers who explained his record was 60 hours straight, I'm not that much of an addict. That caller is like the Michael Phelps of net usage. If I were to speak of records, it probably goes back to when I first got the net, way back in dial up days, 1997 or there abouts.
A good 12 hours were spent; bare in mind that this was dial up, so that probably equated into 2 pages, melting my eyes onto the keyboard. And if memory serves me correctly, I fecked off into work with about one hour of sleep and broken wrists....from typing...of course....cough.
So whats it like now, my web addiction. Well lets put it like this. Last year I spent a good 15 minutes checking emails and credit card balances in the Dell Lounge on the top floor of Macy's, in NYC. A few weeks ago I was up in the North, with the Ipod touch and its wifi capabilities been used non stop. Came back down south, stayed in Athlone, and within 30 seconds of getting to the hotel room, I was on the phone looking for the wifi login. I cant sleep at night without having a nose at the web on the Ipod. I cant get up without checking what gone down in the few hours that I'm asleep. I cant even take shit with out holding the Ipod in one hand. Sometimes I thank Jesus for Google Reader. It makes having a dump so much easier.
All last week, without fail, the Olympics have been on. I'm a fan of few sports, but I've kinda got caught up in the lim-pics! I posed a question last night, to which some people got a little bit upset. Simply put, "Why did we bother sending any Irish athletes, when the majority of them are coming in last?" I know theres been a few exceptions, with one of our boxers guaranteed a bronze now, but Its made me wonder none the less. Its like we sent out a group of car mechanics to fix the engine on a Boeing 747. None of them will be able to fix the engine, but they may make it tick over.
Maybe its a bit rich for me to be harping on about Irish athletes and how shite most of their performances have been, given that the most athletic thing I do is practising baby making or typing up this blog. And if you do end up in the Olympics, be careful. This poor unfortunate weightlifter didn't have the best Olympics. If hes a single guy, it could proove very frustrating!!!
Much thanks goes out to all the Welcome back texts that came in last night, and in particular a special thanks goes to John O D, who sent us in a welcome back chocolate cake. It was good to be back, but my voice didnt hold up too well at all. Half way through the show, I was drinking water, like a fish out of it. Hoarsethroats.com
Dont forget another Munster family pass tonight and tickets for Lovebox tonight and all the usual! Blog slowly ramping up to normality again!
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