The blogger people seemed to have fixed what ever needed fixing. Normal service is resumed!

Late N Live Top 5 annoying things about Jury Duty 150306

5 – Other members turn up for tea and biscuits, you turn up for day off work

4 – No matter how many times you ask, the judge will never let you have a go off his wig

3 – Theres always some clown who doesn’t agree with the rest of you and your there for
5 extra hours!

2 – Chances are the person on trial will serve less time than you

1 – You never get to meet Matlock




A PROFESSIONAL David Beckham lookalike is on the game – offering sex for £500 a time. 500 quid to score with a Beckham lookalike…God, if u were half decent looking u could score with the real thing for free

There seems to be some technical glitches at the moment! This is the blogger peoples fault. So bear with the blog.

Last night I started the show with a quick, but startling piece of information. In case you missed it (shame on you) it wasnt something as groundbreaking as getting the figs out of the figroll with a shovel. Nor was it as astounding as being able to get a monkey out of a tree with a paper airplane. It wasnt even an answer to lifes oldest mystery, who came up with the name Breast In a Bun! It was something far more powerful, and something that could well change your life...possibly.

Last night on the show, in true Uri Gellar style I spoke of my ability to stop time. I had tried it out minutes before going on air and to my own shock and awe it worked. I wont confuse people anymore with my blabbering about it, but check out here and have a go for yourself. While its not as exciting as hurtling down the road in a Delorean at 88mph its still a riveting experience....possibly. Have a go though. Lots of people were kind enough to text in last night and say it worked. Some people even thought I was pulling the piss! Well in the secrets of your dark and musty computer rooms, have a lash at it!

The pyramid schemes gripping Cork, came up on the show again last night. One caller in particular was extremley convincing about how sucessfull they are. He was in his third scheme and was cleaning up. Convincing, yes but in the words of Jerry Maguire "Show me the money!". Other callers; just thought the whole thing was immoral but for every immoral caller there was somebody else willing to (as one caller put it) shit on someone else, for money. At the end of the day, Id prefer to throw the money into a casino in Vegas. Some might say the odds are better, and as an added bonus if you lose no one will arrive at your door in the middle of the night after tearing the bonnet from your car, and carefully putting it through your living room window!


Somebody sent me a link to this "item" yesterday evening. Yes, it is what you think it is. A mouse in a skirt! How sad is that. No doubt, they'll sell by the bucket load! Maybe it'll take cyber sex to a whole new level. Im sure the conversations would be along the lines of
Yeah baby, Im putting my hand up your skirt, and I feel something..small, hard and with a cable hanging out the back. Hang on, thats my mouse...sorry! And NO! I havent ordered one, Ill wait for the Vera Wang version.

As some of you may know, my long suffering producer, Risteard has gotten a cold over the last few days. Well now yours truly has it as well. Between the 2 of us, we've more or less being dying slowly, since the start of the year! I've had so many colds since Januray and Im actually getting quite acustomed to them. If I go a week or 2 without one, I feel a bit down and lonely. If Im "lucky" to get one, its like the prodigal son returning home....or something!

Anyways, I have to run off..ok....ok..ok Ill be walking and driving, to a meeting....

Laters

Late N Live Top 5 things Willie O Dea will be doing while in charge of the country (140306)
5 – Dart board with a picture of the Ceann Comhairle put up in Taoiseach’s office

4 – Think up of strategy to catch that 6 foot Arab with the dialysis machine

3 – Wander around the Dail in a pair of camouflage boxers

2 – Spend an extra 15 minutes a day moustache grooming

1 – Making sure he’s only going to shoot blanks



Camilla and Prince Charles saw one expert chop a melon with his blade at a Sikh temple in West London for Commonwealth Day. All was well until someone informed Camilla that she was in the wrong place, and that Chelthnam does start until tomorrow!

Pyramid Schemes, Hookers, Drugs and some nice giveaways amongst other things from 9pm this evening!

The drool is still running down my chin. A Ford dealer in Tallaght, Dublin had a Ford GT for sale. Its been bought, according to the Irish Indo! Its on display for the week up there, and part of me is nearly daft enough to drive up and take a few pics! Ok, it ates the petrol like no tomorrow and you'd probably have to keep it locked up in a fort knox style complex. As I mentioned in an email to Eddie Cunningham in the Indo, Id saw off me legs and use planks of wood to use the accelerator, brake and clutch, just to get a spin off that GT.

Celebs are putting their names to everything these days, and it works, according to the callers last night. Niall Quinn is advertising some property development. Would you buy a gaf because Niall is advertising it? Exactly. None of the celebs give a shite about what they endorse. Its a big pay day. Im sure that Britney and the rest of em are still drinking their life time supply of Pepsi! They've even taken it to another level over the last few years. Any female celeb worth their salt (cough cough) has brought out a perfume. Take Britney for example. Has anyone seen her lately. Track suit bottoms hanging off her hole, baby in one arm, fag in another, driving an SUV with her knees and so on. Who wants to smell like that? Eau de Baby vomit. Lovely! Granted, some of the celeb endorsements are quite funny, particuarly the superbowl ads that happen once a year. The American Express ones with De Niro and the likes are really classy.
Do I think they work? Im the biggest clown for buying celebrity endorsed stuff. Jamie Olivers flava shaka thing. Bought it. Used it to smash up M&Ms. Good one! I have a fair share of Orange County Choppers stuff, given Im a big fan of American Chopper. Even yesterday, as I mentioned on the show last night, I was checking out FDNY t-shirts. Ok the money goes to a good cause, the tees are cool, but its Denis Learys show, Rescue Me that spurned me on to looking for this stuff! So yes, it does work! Some celebs have missed the boat though. There was a huge oppurtunity a few years back for Mick Lally to endorse some Glenroe wellys. Now theres a product! As a matter of fact I just (cough cough cough) "found" this ad. So they did exist!!
Brown Thomas Bombshell giveaway continues tonight as does our exclusive screening of Inside Man, which Ill be announcing (or roaring more likely) and throwing stuff at people. Check out the cork talks back page later on for some info on whats coming up on the show. If I get time, Ill update it on here too!

Its late, as a matter of fact Id imagine the Rooster crew are even contemplating getting up. Im still up, got home about an hour and a bit ago. Watched American Chopper and started trawling through a few mails! Lots of folks reading the blog lately, so nice wan for that. Keep dropping by. From here on in, the Top 5 will be back on here every day. Occasionally they'll be a liner or 2 that I write that may or may not be featured on the show!

Late ‘N Live Top 5 things you don’t want to hear from someone making your breast in a bun (130306)

5 – My hands? Oh yeah, washed em last month

4 – Listen you’d never gimme the ass of it wud ya, Im starvin’

3 – You want it in a box? 10 euros please

2 – No sir, that’s not lettuce, it’s the cheese

1 – Hey We need some more mayo over here, lube it up!


BRITISH tourists maimed in terrorist attacks abroad have been refused Government compensation — and advised to sue OSAMA BIN LADEN. Not a bad idea, can you imagine the carry on in court. “Yes your honor, that’s the guy......with the dialysis machine”

Just a really quick update..Students and Would u buy something because a celeb endorses it! Brown Thoms goodies up for grabs and movie tickets amongst other stuff

Donut Burger

As most of you know, we're obsessed with food on the show! At least a few times a month Ill discover some mad food thing, that really should be on sale in its own exclusive store on Pana...this time there might be an exception!

Dont know if this would have any takers...maybe with a chips n curry!!!

Voting

Just for the crack, Id like to get this blog a little bit higher on the irish blog charts so If you think tis worth it, give a vote on here