The one with Derren Brown

I’m a bit late to the party with this one, but due to boredom last night when I came home, I decided to watch Derren Brown attempt to stick a load of people to sofas, without the aid of superglue, ropes or bodily fluids.

After about 5 minutes I got bored as I felt they were only milking the time for the inevitable last 5 minutes. So, I fast forwarded to the end. Well to the part where he was about to glue holes on seats. I followed the instructions, watched the 1 minute video which consisted of a white screen with circling light grey lines. Then Brown came back on screen telling me I should be stuck. Much to my amazement, I wasn’t stuck, but at the same time I found it incredibly difficult to get up. After about 10 seconds I was free and figured it was worth another go. So out with the remote again and rewind. I didn’t spend as much time watching Brown go through his spiel this time and no joy. Nothing. I was able to get up off the couch with no effort. Nothing holding me down or whatever.

Being a bit disappointed I figured it was worth one more go. So I watched all the instructions and had another go. And fuck me. Wedged to the couch. Couldn’t get up at all. It was a bizarre experience. After about 2 minutes I was able to crawl up and then all was back to normal. To be honest I was a bit sceptical about it, but when it happened  I was fuckin blown away. Unlike the people in his studio who looked so strained I thought they were trying to shit out a small ocean liner, I wasn’t completely glued to the couch, but I couldn’t get my ass more than an inch upwards.

Thankfully I didn't have to call out or more than likely yell out to the sleeping wife in case it all went horribly wrong, where I had visions of a fire crew cutting me out of a couch. There a better ways to get stuck to a couch particularly a leather one, but this was pretty impressive and not as messy.