Late N Live Top 5 signs that your out of shape (20/4/05)

5 – Your thinking about ordering an escalator to get upstairs

4 – Your favourite item of clothing…a Gazeebo

3 – When your walking down the street people ask you to walk in the bus lane

2 – You get exercise on a weekly basis by answering the door to the pizza delivery guy

1 – You have a pair of 38DD boobs and you’re a man

Yet another ache and pain. Im after contracting a toothache on the left side of me gob now, will the aches, pains, infections and sickness ever let up! I dont know if Ive gone a full week with having a complaint since January. Maybe Im falling apart...internally! Either way Neurofen is currently battling the toothache, and there not doing much of a job if truth be told!

I looked out the window this morning to see a nice blue X spray painted onto the grass near the top of the drive. Every second house seems to have this today! Maybe tis something to do with the Census. Either that or Bush is looking for more oil! Talk about X marks the spot! Talking about the census, our copy arrived yesterday and Ive only got a chance to look at it today. Nothing too painful although some people have found one of the questions extremely insensitive! The question being to do with the wording more than anything. How many children have you given birth to that are alive. Thats not a quote but the jist of it! We had some calls about it last night on Cork Talks Back and I agree, its a bit OTT Afterall a birth is a birth!

I spoke to Pat O Shea yesterday evening about his offer of doing an open spot @ his new comedy night at Cubiculo on Drawbridge St! All went well and the offer is still open so the next Thursday night Ive off and there on, Im going have a lash off it! Speaking of that Comedy night, the next one isnt on until Thursday week, so give Pat a break looking for tickets! Wait a week at least! For years, Ive always been writing material, mainly for the show. Alot of it doesnt get used for numbers of reasons, so Ill dig into the archives to see can I find any gems.....probably not though :)

The latest season of American Chopper seems to have wrapped on Discovery, so last night when I got home I had feck all Sky+'d bar some MegaStructures thing about the Palm Island in Dubai. Mad, but interesting! Ive put my name down for 6 ft of sand! Maybe Ill set up a stall selling lighters or cakes or something! Speaking of TV, one of my favourite TV shows The Simpsons, is headed for the big screen. I saw the trailer late last night and I didnt get a chance to play it on the show. If I get a spare moment, Ill play it tonight!

Keeping with movies, I havent taken a trip to the flickhouse in quite some time! Theres not a great deal in that Im interested in seeing! I am looking forward to the new Superman movie though! I was weaned on Star Wars and Superman (one from each breast) when I was younger! I still remember the disappointment when I finally got a Superman suit and found out it didnt make me fly. Other kids hurled themselves out of windows trying to make the thing work, but as far as I was concerned if the fecking thing that do a vertical take off I wasnt interested! There was similar disappoint when a lightsaber I got as a pressie didnt light up and saw the sideboard in half! Seriously though, the oul Superman movie looks to be great! One movie I have zero interest in seeing is Basic Instinct 2! Christ, is there anyone that still wants to see Sharon Stone get her tits out! The trailer looked shite! Ok it featured lesbians for a second or 2, but who cares! If I really want to pay out €50 for food and a ticket to see some ould wans get their tits out and do some simulated Lesbo antics, Ill go see it in a lapdancing club! Id imagine the bank balance for Sharon is fairly low at the moment, so no wonder she signed up to do this piece of rubbish! Maybe its wrong of me to suggest the movie isnt great considering I havent seen it, but Sharon is about 104 now and if the first one was anything to go by I rest my case! Im sure someone will knock one off the wrist because of it, but at the same time if your looking for porn theres always the thing called the internet! Other than that, Im also looking forward to seeing Posiedon, The Enron movie and the Xmen : The Last Stand

Thats it for now.