Down with my Life by Vic Barry

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

The one with the winning joke

Not for the sensitive or the weak stomached!!!!

A boy takes his girlfriend home for a bit of fun but finds his brother sleeping in the bottom bunk, undaunted they get in the top bunk. He says to the girl- we will use a code- if u want it harder say lettuce, if u want a different position say tomato....... Lettuce lettuce tomato lettuce she says ..... After a hile his brother shouts - will u two stop making fucking sandwiches, the mayonaise is dripping all over my face!! Ella from kanturk

Monday, June 09, 2008

The one with the sexist SATC movie

So, the Sex and the city movie has been seen by thousands of Cork women. Its been open for the last 2 weeks almost and rumour has it, 17 men have seen it! Over the weekend and for the last week I was more or less told by various parties a selection of the following

"Its not for men"

"Oh God, dont bring him, the cinema was full of women, you'll be like a freak"

"Listen, its made for women and women only"

I dont think I've ever suffered the sexist punch before, but this has wound me up no end. I've never heard such bollocks in my life and I should know, I talk enough of it!!!! Im a big fan of the cinema, and am all for the party atmosphere in the flicks. Its great when people stand and cheer at the end of a movie or get dressed up for the occasion. There's plenty of dudes who got out their lightsabers and dressed up as wookies when the Star Wars flicks came to cinemas. So, finally the ladies get a chance to do the same. Evening gowns, imitation Manolas and cheap champagne. Great, it adds to the atmosphere.

Why cant the men go see it with their respective other? I'll tell ya!!!! Its blatant sexism!!!

Bridget Jones - "Cmon love, you might like this. Pleassseeee"

PS I Love you - "Cmon love, you might like this. Its get Berties daughter in it or something. Pleeassseeee

Sex and the City Movie - " Fuck off, your not coming. Play your playbox and that Grand car automatic game or something"

Every other chick flick, man goes along. Alot of the time; man goes along for peace and to gain brownie points. And when the time comes to cashing in the brownie points, its all about getting pant's off!!!! Yup, men tolerate the terrible chick flick for sex! And not just any oul sex. In all probability, they hope it'll be for some really kinky shit. Fingers up bums and the likes.

As Nuala pointed out to me last night, she didnt want men to see how capable they are of hurting women and apparently theres alot of this in the SATC flick! Christ, its like this movie is like the Holy Grail for men. So, for those males out there who want to destroy womenkind, then go see the SATC movie. Therein lies the secret codes. Apparently!!!! If we're good enough for the other chick flicks, then why not this one!

What would happen if you tell your better half that you cant go see the new Batman movie. Its not suitable! Its made for men! I dont care if you are Heath Ledgers biggest fan, you'll never see one of his last flicks because its a lads flick!!!!! Bra's would be burned again!!!! Thats what would happen!!! And there would be no more blow jobs....from women anyway!

One of the other things that grinds my gears with this fake champagne crew, is for some, they actually think they're Carrie. At least the dudes took off their Wookie costume and put it away. Some of these people wouldnt know a Rampant Rabbit from a rabbit hutch! The other thing, is they jump on the popularity bandwagon. "Oh yeah, I loves it. Used always watch it on the.....um..Discovery Channel" That sickens me. People trying to be popular with their so called mates, because of some badly written movie. These fake people should be lined against a wall and shot....twice!

Im not saying that you should be a fan to go see the SATC movie, but you cant be a man by all accounts.