The one with the sexiest jocks ever!!!

Guess the member of RedFM staff....

The one with muppets and putdowns..

As promised....firstly these.....

• Basil Fawlty - Fawlty Towers. To Sybil: "Oh dear, what happened? Did you get entangled in the eiderdown again? Not enough cream in your eclair? Hmm? Or did you have to talk to all your friends for so long that you didn't have time to perm your ears?"
• Mrs Merton - The Mrs Merton Show. To Debbie McGee: "So what first attracted you to the millionaire Paul Daniels?"
• Edmund Blackadder - Blackadder II. To Lord Percy: "The eyes are open, the mouth moves, but Mr Brain has long since departed, hasn't he, Percy?"
• Roseanne Conner - Roseanne. To husband Dan: "Your idea of romance is popping the can away from my face."
• Father Jack Hackett - Father Ted. "Drink! Feck! Arse! Girls!"
• Carla - Cheers. Cliff: "I'm ashamed God made me a man." Carla: "I don't think God's doing a lot of bragging about it either."
• Patsy Stone - Absolutely Fabulous. "One more facelift on this one and she'll have a beard."
• Jim Royle - The Royle Family. Nana: "Is this hat too far forward?" Jim: "No. We can still see your face."
• Malcolm Tucker - The Thick Of It. To a junior minister: "All these hands all over the place! You were like a sweaty octopus trying to unhook a bra! It was like watching John Leslie at work!"
• Statler and Waldorf - The Muppet Show. Statler: "Wake up, you old fool, you slept through the show." Waldorf: "Who's a fool? You watched it."
• Inspector Monkfish - The Fast Show. To a bereaved woman: "I realise this must be a very difficult time for you, so put your knickers on and go and make me a cup of tea."
• No Offence - The Fast Show. "I notice you're not wearing a wedding ring which, given your age, means you're divorced or a lesbian."
• Rupert Rigsby - Rising Damp. To lodger Alan, who complains his room is too cold to study in: "The only thing you study is your navel. You even shave lying down."
• Nan - The Catherine Tate Show. Describing an encounter with an overweight hospital volunteer: "She said to me last time, 'You look bored, Mrs Taylor. I've got three words for you: Barbara Taylor Bradford.' So I said, 'Yeah? I've got three words for you too: calorie controlled diet."'
• The Professor - The Mary Whitehouse Experience. "I have here a copy of your book, Origins of the Crimean War. It smells of poo." "That's because it's been inside your mum's bra."
• Alf Garnett - Till Death Us Do Part. "You Scouse git!"
• Alexis Carrington - Dynasty. "I'm glad to see your father had your teeth fixed - if not your mouth."
• JR Ewing - Dallas. "Ray never was comfortable eating with the family - we do use knives and forks."
• Dr Perry Cox - Scrubs. Dr Elliot Reid: "I don't think you understand the severity of the situation here. I am dangerously close to giving up men altogether." Dr Cox: "Then on behalf of men everywhere - and I do mean everywhere, including the ones in little mud huts - let me be the first to say thanks and hallelujah."
• Dr Gregory House - House. "You can think I'm wrong, but that's no reason to stop thinking."
• Gary Strang - Men Behaving Badly. "Let's face it, Tony, the only way you're gonna be in there is if you're both marooned on a desert island and she eats a poisonous berry or a nut which makes her temporarily deaf, dumb, stupid, forgetful and desperate for sex."
• Arnold Rimmer - Red Dwarf. "Look, we all have something to bring to this discussion. But I think from now on the thing you should bring is silence."
• Larry David - Curb Your Enthusiasm. "Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate."
• Sam Tyler - Life On Mars. To Gene Hunt: "I think you've forgotten who you're talking to." Sam: "An overweight, over-the-hill, nicotine-stained, borderline-alcoholic homophobe with a superiority complex and an unhealthy obsession with male bonding?"
• Captain Mainwaring - Dad's Army. "You stupid boy!"

And now






And finally, obligatory random Fawly Towers clip....




Good night!

The one with a dancing walrus

Another "one of them" updates....

The one with on a day with bad weather

Well, the bin blew over, as did the bird table. Lets not forget the 4 tonne parsol, which ploughed a nice furrow in the garden. Looking through the blinds like some half naked peeping tom, the weather is bad. The forecast get it right again. World stops turning, millions applaud. World starts turning again and the millions and millions of the Rocks fans (what!!!), er, life goes back to normal.

From the picture above, Im sure 4 of you will discern I was in Garryvoe yesterday. Amazing weather, pity about the wind. Then a few hours later..... well Im sure you can remember yesterday evening.

I dont know about you, but this blog update is fairly disjointed so Im going to go now, before the wind takes me away (not much chance of that....) but I'll leave you with another pic and the trailer of the movie I was blowing on about last night...


Weekend aways compliments of Eddie Rockets up for grabs tonight and all week!

The one on a Sunday!

This is all................

The one with token post Thursday

Token post. That is all........really it is. Nothing else to see, read or ponder! Bar this clown...

The one where theres relationship advice and some bloke made of Iron

On the back of one of the topics on the last nights show, where 83% of people voted saying that the man should pay for the first date. Be that cinema, pub, club, dinner or whatever. Not one vote saying the lady should pay for it. Not one! Whats wrong with these men? Here's my take on it. Lets take your average high end date.

Drinks (before dinner) €20
Dinner (inc btl wine, 3 courses, coffee etc) €150
Cinema including food €30 (not much room for popcorn after big feed, but none the less)

So, those of you with calculators for brains will be after adding the total up and coming to the grand ol figure of €200. Which isn't alot of money to spend on one night with more or less a complete stranger. I'm sure some would say "Christ, 200 notes for that!!!! I'll get meself an "escort" " If a bloke has to impress (and I use the word loosely) a bird by spending a small fortune on a first date then theres not much hope. What happens on the second date? Man pays! What happens on the third date? Man pays! What happens when man removes his underpants and woman isn't impressed? Man pays for surgery!!!!

Just in my own little humble opinion if I were unfortunate enough to end up single again and I was expected to dish out that kinda money to impress someone, well in the words of many great people around the world "FUCK THAT!!!" There is a group of ladies (as there is a group of these guys) who expect everything is paid for on a first date and so on. Don't anybody bother throwing the chivalry comment in. That's bollocks!!! Chivalry is about opening doors, having manners and coming running when the bog roll runs out. I think at the very least an offer to go dutch has to be made, once man decides "I'll get this". At least with an offer your not made feel like a walking ATM. And yes, that's my phrase!!!!!!!

(CLICK IMAGE TO ENLARGE)

One of the other insane reasons I got last night was "If he asked me out, then he should pay" and by all accounts that was related to old teachings. Maybe I missed out on this, back in the day. I obviously missed the flight to Tibet. I obviously missed the 5 day hike up the side of a hazardous mountain. I obviously missed the 6 month "You ask, you pay" course with a group of some arse kicking monks. But, as the old saying goes "A fool and his money is soon parted". As much as that is the biggest pile of cheddar, its true. If theres someone out there who's paying for shit constantly (be you male of female) then you deserve to be taken to the cleaners, you big walking ATM.....you!!!! I wonder where they insert the ATM card!!!!! Horses wear blinkers, not humans.


Before anybody starts crying, I'm not saying everyone is like that. Far from it!!! Anyway, mad, angry and slightly humorous rant over. In other news, here's the latest trailer from what is shaping up to be one of the best comic book adaptions of all time!

The one with nothing in the title

Unlike the title, Im sure they'll be something in here. Or is there................





















Oh go on then! Right, the little princess video from last night is located here. There were plenty of good kick up the hole texts coming in, but its the parents who need more than a good kicking. The whole super sweet 16 style of life makes me want to vomit up the hang sangwitch I had for lunch 30 minutes ago. As a matter of fact anytime I witness this kind of asshole behavior I feel like puking. Even if theres nothing in my stomach, I'd manage a drop of bile or something! No doubt theres someone reading this going, dont be such a begrudging shit! Well, are you in the video??? Are you??? Would you treat your kids like that, or rather let your kids treat you like that!

For years we've been fortunate enough to have a wide selection of tv show's that specilise in showing average joes getting mauled by wild animals.....mainly in Zoo's. While its a terrible thing to happen, some of these maulee's go looking for it. Let's face it, you start prodding a Panda or Wolf with a stick or get to close to its enclosure and chances are, you'll get your arse handed to you in a nice homemade bag of intestines. Some of these parents, who obviously have lost touch with reality should surely have no problem wandering into a lion enclosure. Maybe then, just before a big ass paw swipes a big bloody hole in their throat, they'll suddenly go "Hang on, whats going on. What am I doing. Thus being brought back to reality in the back of an ambulance. And if said little brat then still complains, then bring on some more Panda pain!



In other news, there was a big VIP Limo night in Club Light last Friday night. Check the link for more pictures. I got an oul spin in the Limo and the only thing it doesnt have is a cooker and built in oven. Absolutely gigantic. Biggest thing I've been in since.....anyway moving along I managed to finish Devil May Cry 4 on the PS3 and dont think I've enjoyed a video game as much since Gears of War or Uncharted. If thats not enough news for ya, Im now off to make French Onion Soup!



Incidently, I've finally updated my blogroll on the right so if you have a blog and you wanna swap links, shoot me an email to vicbarryNOSPAMBASTARDS@gmail.com
Of course, make sure you delete the NOSPAMBASTARDS part.


Till 9 stay fine and dont let no panda eat your spine (Christ almighty)

The one with post 700. World stops turning!!!

Well its arrived. Post 700! And just for a split second the world stopped turning, well the wirless connection went dodgy for a second at least. This is going to be a neutral post to say the least. No bitching, moaning or "hilarious" comments. When I started this blog back on November 12th 2004 I didnt think it'd last this long. I thought, like lots of other things, I'd get bored and move on and probably spend my days whoring myself out on myspace or something. Like other more important day to day activities, you have good weeks and bad weeks. In the case of the blog, it had bad months, where there was more chance of someone getting free sex from a hooker than an update. But I kept the online musings going, due to some miracle and if truth be told I enjoy updating the thing. Yeah, at times the whole thing is tedious. It wrecks my head, but like the Loreal ad (kinda), tis worth it. The one thing I have noticed is the style of writing over the last 3 odd years. At the start I was writing at a Junior Infants level, but fast forward from then until now and Im writing at a 3rd class level.

The blog also got some recognition this year with the blog awards. While I wasnt at the awards ceremony myself, carrying women around on one arm (Mr. O Shea!!!!) it was nice to get a nod. Speaking (technically, writing at a 3rd class level) of the blog awards, well done to all the winners on the night.

So with that, post 700 comes to a more or less neutral close. The world may now start to turn again! Oh, one final thing........ KIDS ROCK as being played on the show!



Till 9, keep your arse in line!

The one with that ad

As played on the show.....



Post 700 later on!!!!