Well then, Im at it again. No not that; but a severe lack of updates. I do apologise to my 2 readers or was that 3. I have an excuse, Im extremely busy with the show. Cough Cough. Seriosuly though we're about 75% done on our Star Wars Special which will blow your minds. Well not literally but there is a very impressive list of interviewees, which Im not going to reveal. Its going to cover various aspects of the Star Wars universe from the actors, to the special fx guys and to a certain someone else who has made so much of it come together. It will air the week of the launch of Episode 3, more than likely on the 17th of May.

Thats it really, the sun is breaking stones outside the window so I should really be out doing all things domestic like cutting the grass. Ill have to have a think about that one.

Enjoy the bank holiday and for feck sake, be careful

Again, I apologise to the millions reading. Im useless at updating this thing frequently. But I suppose tis better updated every week or 4 than not at all. Not a great deal to say really. Why did I bother?

Top 5 Update coming by Friday.

Well Im back after a short ol break. We headed to Killarney (original I know) on Friday afternoon in wet and misery. It was the first break we head away in over 2 years, them houses are a hinderance you know. Late Friday afternoon the weather picked up, the clouds parted and we head a wonderful sunny evening. I took on the perils of back roads and drove off for an ol cruise around the national park and surrounding area. Absolutely stunning area.



On Saturday which was an absolute scorcher, more driving around. At one point I spotted a sign for the Gap Of Dunloe. Off we went, eventually arriving to be met with a sign that read "Road unsuitable for veichular use". So I drove on; being influenced by a car that had made the same mistake in the distance. What a mistake it was, the roads if you could call them roads had little safety barriers and at one stage herself looked down to see nothing but a fifty foot drop. We eventually made it to the gap and with no where to turn safely, we went down the other side. It was one of the most stressfull driving experiences ever, but the scenery was worth it.

On Friday before I headed off I had the oppurtunity to interview Anthony Daniels who plays C3P0 in ALL of the Star Wars movies. It was an honour to get hold of Anthony and keep your ears peeled for the interview tomorrow night!

Time Off

Righto, Im not gonna be on the air tonight or Sunday night, my loving producer will be stepping up to the thing that we talk into. Im heading out west for a few days to get facials and massages. Well...........not really, but I am heading out west, for a well deserved break (!).

If Im not back on the air on Monday night, Ive been run over by a pony and chariot!

Another Top 5 update and thats it really. Still feel like absolute crap, the only time it seems to disappear is when I go on air. Got to see Closer over the weekend, not a bad movie but then again not amazing either. Granted, Natalie Portman prances around in next to nothing for some of it.

Another problem I seem to be having (yes the list is endless) is that I cant seem to find a bloody diary anywhere. So if anyone knows where in Cork, drop me a mail.

Overs and Outers!

Top 5 update

Late N Live Top 5 signs you have a bad accountant (14/3/05)

5 – When you ask about how much tax youll be paying he just laughs and hands you his bill

4 – Keeps insisting that a nine is the same as a six ,only its upside down

3 – Hes supposes to be a member of the chartered accounts but the closet he could get is chartered planes for accountants

2 – When filling out your form, asks, "What color crayon should I use?"


1 – The calculator hes been using is actually a remote control for the TV

Late N Live Top 5 things you don’t want to hear in an expensive restaurant (15/3/05)

5 – Can I recommend one of our low-fat salads, Tubby?

4 – We’re legally obliged to tell you not to eat the oysters

3 – Sir, the chef would like to inform you that he has not sneezed in your meal, he might have done other things, but he hasn’t sneezed in it

2 – Oh for Christs sake, how hard is it to kill a cow

1 – Im sorry Sir, the restaurant is just closed. The tainiaste has just left

Late N Live Top 5 punchlines to dirty irish jokes (16/3/05)

5 – So he asked for a sheep and a pair of wellies

4 – Keep looking -- I know there's a shamrock in there somewhere.

3 – That's not the Blarney Stone, but don't stop kissing it

2 – Its not lord of the dance, its lord of my pants

1 – Here's one snake St. Patrick didn't chase out of Ireland

Late N Live Top 5 things overheard during the cork st.patricks day celebrations (17/03/05)

5 – So whered you get the ride me Im irish t-shirt

4 – Puke sound effects…..

3 – That’s great, I haven’t seen any drunk teenagers in oh about 6 minutes

2 – I cant remember the last time I saw so many people on Patrick Street without knives and glass bottles

1 – Look at the size of that float, it’s as big as the tanaiste…oh hang on it is the tanaiste

Late N Live Top 5 signs your watching a bad Disney movie (22/3/05)

5 – The little mermaid

4 – You keep thinking to yourself “Did Minnie get implants”

3 – Theres pop ups in the latest computer animated movie

2 – Mickey Shouts “Oh my God they killed Goofy”

1 – Theres about 5 or 6 dalmations…tops

Late N Live Top 5 signs your top 5 list is crap (22/3/05)

5 – Number 5 is never really funny

4 – Two of the jokes are the same

3 – This one can be funny on occasion, but not tonight

2 – Two of the jokes are the same

1 – Its called Top 5 signs your Top 5 list is crap

Late N Live Top 5 things overheard at the Michael Jackson trial today (23/03/05)

5 – Yod think hed leave that damn monkey at home, its after biting 3 people

4 – So he came in pajamas the other day, now he arrives wearing a tutu

3 – Support the Michael Jackson legal fund, get your kids photo with Michael only 30 dollars

2 – He seems to be feeling a lot better, hang on get the kid away from him

1 – I came all this way to see Michael Jackson and all I got was Diana Ross

Late N Live Top 5 things you don’t want to hear from someone selling easter eggs (24/3/05)

5 – Sure why would I sell ya hot cross buns, you got your own

4 – We assure you that the chickens have been removed from all of the eggs

3 – Ya I know, the box is broke, its out of date..but cmon its still choclate

2 – Sorry sold out love, we just shipped off all our stock for some kids party at the neverland ranch

1 – I swear, the easter bunny laid them

Late N Live Top 5 Lifeguard pick up lines (28/3/05)

5 – Im certified me as a fully trained love machine

4 – I used be a stunt double for David Hasselhoff

3 – Cellulite, doesn’t bother me

2 – Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you look coughing seawater out of your lungs?

1 – Its not just the Surf that’s up

Top 5 update

Late N Live Top 5 signs you have a bad accountant (14/3/05)

5 – When you ask about how much tax youll be paying he just laughs and hands you his bill

4 – Keeps insisting that a nine is the same as a six ,only its upside down

3 – Hes supposes to be a member of the chartered accounts but the closet he could get is chartered planes for accountants

2 – When filling out your form, asks, "What color crayon should I use?"

1 – The calculator hes been using is actually a remote control for the TV

Late N Live Top 5 things you don’t want to hear in an expensive restaurant (15/3/05)

5 – Can I recommend one of our low-fat salads, Tubby?

4 – We’re legally obliged to tell you not to eat the oysters

3 – Sir, the chef would like to inform you that he has not sneezed in your meal, he might have done other things, but he hasn’t sneezed in it

2 – Oh for Christs sake, how hard is it to kill a cow

1 – Im sorry Sir, the restaurant is just closed. The tainiaste has just left

Late N Live Top 5 punchlines to dirty irish jokes (16/3/05)

5 – So he asked for a sheep and a pair of wellies

4 – Keep looking -- I know there's a shamrock in there somewhere.

3 – That's not the Blarney Stone, but don't stop kissing it

2 – Its not lord of the dance, its lord of my pants

1 – Here's one snake St. Patrick didn't chase out of Ireland

Late N Live Top 5 things overheard during the cork st.patricks day celebrations (17/03/05)

5 – So whered you get the ride me Im irish t-shirt

4 – Puke sound effects…..

3 – That’s great, I haven’t seen any drunk teenagers in oh about 6 minutes

2 – I cant remember the last time I saw so many people on Patrick Street without knives and glass bottles

1 – Look at the size of that float, it’s as big as the tanaiste…oh hang on it is the tanaiste

Late N Live Top 5 signs your top 5 list is crap (22/3/05)

5 – Number 5 is never really funny

4 – Two of the jokes are the same

3 – This one can be funny on occasion, but not tonight

2 – Two of the jokes are the same

1 – Its called Top 5 signs your Top 5 list is crap

Happy St.Patricks Day

Yes, have a good ol St.Paddys day no matter where you are. No doubt it will involve keg loads of booze, but not for me. Ill be slaving and entertaining later on, as we dont take a night off for paddys day.

The Hypnotist, Paul Dee was with me last night on the show. All I can say is it gets better each time. Man with talking willy, man gives birth to baby, need I go on. I dont, thanks very much. Look out for it in rewinds and various other bits.

Anyway Im going back to my Densha de go on my PSP. Laters

Well no mail yesterday, and it seems to be late today. The problems I have to deal with. Our Monday night Psychic segment is more popular than ever, and Im finding we just dont have enough time to squeez in as many people as Id like, but such is life. To think I was contemplating cancelling the feature :(

Wednesday night sees Paul Dee (pauldee.com) the Hypnotist returning to the show. Anytime we have Paul on its great craic so Im looking forward to that, and thats that as they say.

Hopefully I wont be leaving this go a month or longer before I update it again. Im not even sure how many people read these things, but just in case ;)

Things have been busy, busy, busy over the last few weeks. The new ratings book came out and Im up, and well up. So Im a happy camper then, although they'll be no sitting on laurels or arses. Onwards and upwards!!!!! I dont know why, but I bought a Sony PSP. Great yoke altogether and as I write this Im waiting for another game to arrive. The post person is outside now so hang on a minute. Ill check back tomorrow!