Top 5 update

Late N Live Top 5 signs you have a bad accountant (14/3/05)

5 – When you ask about how much tax youll be paying he just laughs and hands you his bill

4 – Keeps insisting that a nine is the same as a six ,only its upside down

3 – Hes supposes to be a member of the chartered accounts but the closet he could get is chartered planes for accountants

2 – When filling out your form, asks, "What color crayon should I use?"

1 – The calculator hes been using is actually a remote control for the TV

Late N Live Top 5 things you don’t want to hear in an expensive restaurant (15/3/05)

5 – Can I recommend one of our low-fat salads, Tubby?

4 – We’re legally obliged to tell you not to eat the oysters

3 – Sir, the chef would like to inform you that he has not sneezed in your meal, he might have done other things, but he hasn’t sneezed in it

2 – Oh for Christs sake, how hard is it to kill a cow

1 – Im sorry Sir, the restaurant is just closed. The tainiaste has just left

Late N Live Top 5 punchlines to dirty irish jokes (16/3/05)

5 – So he asked for a sheep and a pair of wellies

4 – Keep looking -- I know there's a shamrock in there somewhere.

3 – That's not the Blarney Stone, but don't stop kissing it

2 – Its not lord of the dance, its lord of my pants

1 – Here's one snake St. Patrick didn't chase out of Ireland

Late N Live Top 5 things overheard during the cork st.patricks day celebrations (17/03/05)

5 – So whered you get the ride me Im irish t-shirt

4 – Puke sound effects…..

3 – That’s great, I haven’t seen any drunk teenagers in oh about 6 minutes

2 – I cant remember the last time I saw so many people on Patrick Street without knives and glass bottles

1 – Look at the size of that float, it’s as big as the tanaiste…oh hang on it is the tanaiste

Late N Live Top 5 signs your top 5 list is crap (22/3/05)

5 – Number 5 is never really funny

4 – Two of the jokes are the same

3 – This one can be funny on occasion, but not tonight

2 – Two of the jokes are the same

1 – Its called Top 5 signs your Top 5 list is crap