Came across this in my travels! Made me laugh anyway!
Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
The one with a Bacon AT-AT
I’m sure by the time you’d have the first 2 legs eaten you would die, but awesome all the same!
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Monday, March 15, 2010
The one with, well be thankful, there’s one on a Monday
Afternoon all! This weeks Movie Bit podcast is now available to download so hook up your mp3 player on iTunes. Click here
For some reason or another, I’m bloody sick again! Throat knackered and so on. And given its what I do for a living I’ve been thinking. J-Lo has her hole insured for 100 billion or something and Jordan has her tits insured for a large chips and a coke, so maybe I should go insure the voice. Or at least gargle some throat gargling shit!
Anyway, moan over! My brain melted over the weekend, in particular yesterday. One of these things where nothing makes sense and then you go off and stare at a video game for 2 hours. Nothing makes sense after that either! But anyway, just one of those off days! Nothing like something from One Flew Over the cuckoo’s nest, I swear!
Now where’s that sink?
Thursday, March 11, 2010
The one with recovery!
Jesus, you’d swear I was at the Oscar’s themselves last Sunday after the week that’s gone by! I clambered into bed Monday morning at a few minutes close to 6am and was up again in a few hours to make a baby scan appointment with Ger, for 10am. So feck all sleep basically! Monday night, show wise, for me was a long one! By the end of the show, I was feckered altogether. Without sounding like a drama queen, I thought I was gonna vomit on the way home! Tired sickness anyone?
Tuesday was another one, but at least I caught up with some sleep and Wednesday and today were spent staring at Matt Damon in Green Zone and Leo the Cap in Shutter Island in between doing other show stuff!
And tomorrow, of course is a day / night off. Except the bastard sunshine has come out and you know what that means. A few continuous days of it means one thing and one thing only! The grass needs to be fuckin cut! I’m threatening this tomorrow. My only real problem is the dog shit in the garden! I can’t stomach to pick the fuckin thing up and normally I stagger around the garden with a shovel and a bag, vomiting like some wino as I go. I believe there is a spray you can buy that “freezes” the dog shit, so it makes it easier to pick up? Anyone any ideas on that one?
Friday, February 26, 2010
The one on a Friday
I'm taking it easy this Friday (thats the plan anyway) so for those of you wanting to see a Nuclear explosion, go here... complete with eery silence!!!
Thursday, February 25, 2010
The one with the most awesome thing you’ll see this week!
Watch this in its entirety for full awesomeness!!! All its missing is “I must break you”
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
The one with tracksuits and shirts
I heard from one caller in particular last night, how she went on a date with a bloke who turned up in a striped green shirt and a tracksuit bottom! Yes, you read that right! A tracksuit and a shirt. This must be some new fashion craze around Cork as other people got in touch saying they too had witnessed something similar. One listener described how they saw a male dressed in a white shirt, tucked into a black tracksuit which subsequently was tucked into a pair of white socks. Now, what they witnessed wasn’t something off a funny part of the internet, but in fact they witnessed this strange creature thundering around a Cork shopping center. It must be akin to seeing Bigfoot in the wild, although Bigfoot is a rarity.
I have no idea how someone dresses like above, looks in the mirror and goes “Oh shit, I never tucked me tracky into me socks!" and then goes out the door. I equally have no idea how they manage to open a door, as their knuckles are scraping the ground! Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t tracksuits for athletes.
But not all in tracksuits are evil menaces on society. The point was made last night that if you put a couple of different people in a tracksuit you can spot the trouble maker a mile off. That’s the perception. The guy going to a football match could equally break into your house.
I made a suggestion last night to cast the undesirables onto a little island and leave them to their own devices. They could run free with each other and live off the land. Obviously, this got a few people upset. I wasn’t suggesting all tracksuit wearers get thrown onto an Island, only the trouble maker types. Someone then went off and compared me to Hitler for making such a suggestion. FFS. And I failed to mention that this island should be dragged out out to sea, by at least 500 miles!
Yes, you can’t judge a book by its cover but by Christ there’s plenty of books out there that you wouldn’t open!
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
The one with Trains and reservations
I was on a train yesterday. I was on a train yesterday, that got me to Dublin 20 minutes ahead of the inked arrival time. I was on a train with quite a number of idiots.
Maybe I’m wrong to assume they were idiots, but when the conversations of “Sorry thats actually my seat as my name is in an orange light above it” are in earshot I’m lead to believe that people can’t read and completely not clued into how reservations work.
Luckily I didn’t encounter such a problem as myself and the Russian dude that was also at my table created enough space so no one else would sit there. He had has laptop, a bag of food and a about 2 tree’s worth of paper. I had an iPod.
The problem with the idiots really started from Limerick Junction onwards. Entire families would sit down in a reserved area and then any stop’s that were made, they would nervously scan the recently boarded passengers for a potential scuffle! Madness! And the bunch that got on in Thurles were another blog posting altogether.
Tis not that hard! Name in lights, sit the fuck down, once its YOU!
Monday, February 01, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
The one with monkeys
Here is the most awesome thing you will hear about today! Monkeys (chimps to be precise) have made a movie! It was made with chimp proof cams and is set to be shown on TV! No word yet as whether or not its in 3D!
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Friday, January 15, 2010
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
The one with the muppets taking on Queen
Low on the old time today, but this should put a smile on yer chops.......mmmmmmmmm pork!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Monday, November 09, 2009
Thursday, November 05, 2009
The one with testicles
Its funny how you forget things if they haven’t happened to you in an incredibly long time. Yesterday, my right testicle was involved in an incredible collision with one of the dogs toys.
Recently, we bought 2 new toys for the dogs, and one of these was a fluffy duck. And for some reason unbeknownst to everyone except the manufacturer, they had stuck a giant, hard ball inside the duck. I suppose in a way, that's hugely beneficial to the dogs and it means the toy isn’t eaten in a matter of seconds.
And whilst lounging on the couch in the kitchen yesterday, my new wife decided it would be hilarious to throw the aforementioned toy at yours truly. Like a scene out of the Matrix, time slowed down as I witnessed this flying, furry duck hurtling towards me. It shot past the fridge, over a table and unlike Neo, I was unable to get out of the way. And then the collision with my right testicle happened. First there was nothing, but in the half blink of an eye the pain erupted. Like a dormant volcano, I hadn’t felt pain like this since primary school, which was around the last time I got a belt into the baby factory. Like a big sack of spuds, I collapsed off the couch onto the ground, holding the baby factory, drooling and screaming like something out of Patrick St. on a Saturday night.
The wife couldn’t stop laughing and the dogs started lapping up my pain infused drool which was exiting my mouth like ping pong balls in a dodgy thai “adult” show. I remained on the ground for some time, before I managed to crawl back onto the couch. Then the “I never hit you there” started. And after some convincing which incorporated many fine expletives, the wife decided to apologise. Words of “Kiss it better” fell on deaf ears though! So if you think your having a bad day, try being my right testicle!
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