So, we are officially in Recession. Let the doom and gloom begin. In the words of Homer Simpson - WooHoo!!!!
I grew up in the 80's. While I was born in 1976, I didnt stop shitting myself until the early 80's. What do I remember about the last recession? Not much to be honest. Things werent that bad though. I had a robot. A lifesize one at that. While it may not have been the robot from Rocky, it was a robot none the less. Actually, now that I think about it, it was probably a recession robot. Basically; it had a motorised base with wheels and a remote control. The robot itself was inflatable. Yeah, it was a recession robot. But I loved that bastard! I talked to him and everything. I thought I had a C3PO when all I had was a baloon on wheels. And no, George Lucas never called up wanting to borrow him.
Its amazing for years of shouting about doom and gloom, the economists must be jumping up and down with delight in their caves, as they have finally got it right. Well they were bound too, they've been shouting about recession, since the last one. How is it going to effect me and you? Who knows? It comes down to the budget at this stage I'd imagine! But, by the time that rolls around, we'll all probably be killing each other for a gallon of petrol. Talking to a few people in the construction industry, they believe the housing problem will be back to normal by next Summer. So we'll all go back to over spending, 2 remortgages a year and trying to buy cars on credit cards!
But, to take a positive out of a not so doom and gloom negative yet, there is light at the end of the tunnel. You can blame the recession for everything. Just to moisten your appetite here is a small sample of what I mean.
"How could you sleep with that woman? I thought you loved me"
"Sorry, its the recession"
"How could you sleep with that group of men? when you havent touched me in months"
"Sorry, its the recession"
"God, you've put on weight"
"Sorry, its the recession"
"For fuck sake, you never tell me you love me any more"
"Sorry, its the recession"
"What do you mean you didnt unload the dishwasher"
"Sorry, its the recession"
"Why dont you want it doggy style?"
"Sorry, its the recession"
"What do you mean you wont be in to work today?"
"Sorry, its the recession"
"Why havent you taken out the rubbish?"
"Sorry, its the recession"
"Im sick of this chilli con carne shit you cook up every night"
"Sorry, its the recession"
And so on, and so forth!
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
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