Friday, June 27, 2008
The one with the Wanted Movie
Basically, young guy (played by James McEvoy) gets recruited into a team of Assassins and goes off and tries to kill the bloke that killed his dad. Angelina Jolie trains him and Morgan Freeman offers the occasional piece of advice. And that's essentially the story with 1 or 2 little predictable twists. The movie, slows down in the middle for a while but before that, the director, Timur Bekmambetov; is busy ripping your ass out through your ears with never before seen stunts and amazing action. By the time your ass is out through your ear hole you'll be gasping for breath. Its really over the top and so head splatteringly brilliant.
There really is amazing set pieces. Any of the Assassinations are beautifully done. The camera twists and turns as it follows the bullet to its intended target. Who thought violence could be so beautiful. The scene with the Dodge Viper is absolutely mind blowing. And a stand out scene for me was in the office with the keyboard. Wait for that one!!
The special effects are outstanding, the Danny Elfman score is great and the whole movie, rips along at a great pace. My love affair with the Dodge Viper has been reignited and Angelina Jolie is gone to the top of my "list".
Cast your mind back to Peter Jacksons King Kong. Remember where the monkey kicks the balls off the T-Rex and snaps his head and then starts roaring at the top of his monkey lungs. Multiply that by 100 and that's how loud Angelina Jolie screams sexy in this movie.
As a movie based on a comic book, its not entirely loyal and I'm sure plenty of comic fans will be disappointed, but as a no brain, popcorn action flick, this is the best you will see this year, if not for the last few years. The first real summer movie that doesn't disappoint. One of my favourite movies of the year. 9/10
Oh yeah, watch out for the rats!!!!
Thursday, June 26, 2008
The one with Twangers, Shaq and Deniro The Deli Man
Hilarious, what were they on?
Not suitable for everyone, but why Shaq, why?
And finally, who else better to represent New York
I dont know about you, but either Bob has a mortgage to pay or was just bored. Either way, Im off to buy some of that Mayo!
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
The one with Recession
I grew up in the 80's. While I was born in 1976, I didnt stop shitting myself until the early 80's. What do I remember about the last recession? Not much to be honest. Things werent that bad though. I had a robot. A lifesize one at that. While it may not have been the robot from Rocky, it was a robot none the less. Actually, now that I think about it, it was probably a recession robot. Basically; it had a motorised base with wheels and a remote control. The robot itself was inflatable. Yeah, it was a recession robot. But I loved that bastard! I talked to him and everything. I thought I had a C3PO when all I had was a baloon on wheels. And no, George Lucas never called up wanting to borrow him.
Its amazing for years of shouting about doom and gloom, the economists must be jumping up and down with delight in their caves, as they have finally got it right. Well they were bound too, they've been shouting about recession, since the last one. How is it going to effect me and you? Who knows? It comes down to the budget at this stage I'd imagine! But, by the time that rolls around, we'll all probably be killing each other for a gallon of petrol. Talking to a few people in the construction industry, they believe the housing problem will be back to normal by next Summer. So we'll all go back to over spending, 2 remortgages a year and trying to buy cars on credit cards!
But, to take a positive out of a not so doom and gloom negative yet, there is light at the end of the tunnel. You can blame the recession for everything. Just to moisten your appetite here is a small sample of what I mean.
"How could you sleep with that woman? I thought you loved me"
"Sorry, its the recession"
"How could you sleep with that group of men? when you havent touched me in months"
"Sorry, its the recession"
"God, you've put on weight"
"Sorry, its the recession"
"For fuck sake, you never tell me you love me any more"
"Sorry, its the recession"
"What do you mean you didnt unload the dishwasher"
"Sorry, its the recession"
"Why dont you want it doggy style?"
"Sorry, its the recession"
"What do you mean you wont be in to work today?"
"Sorry, its the recession"
"Why havent you taken out the rubbish?"
"Sorry, its the recession"
"Im sick of this chilli con carne shit you cook up every night"
"Sorry, its the recession"
And so on, and so forth!
The one with the CTB mystery sound that nobody guessed!
Turn this one up loud!!!!!
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
The one with ugly kids
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Most parents would deny it, but Canadian researchers have found that physical attractiveness affects how children are treated, according to a report Tuesday in The New York Times.
Researchers at the University of Alberta in Edmonton watched how parents interacted with their children while shopping in supermarkets and found that so-called ugly ones were more neglected and allowed to engage in potentially dangerous behavior.
---
From there, I asked the question "Does anybody think they have ugly kids?". Im sure some people misheard that to be "All ugly kids should be rounded up and put in an ugly kid zoo". It was a simple QUESTION! I dont have any kids yet, but when I do Im sure they will be stunning. It'll be like Da Vinci carved them himself. But I would think, in all honesty that parents, while they still love their kids, will realise "Well, you wont be climbing up on a catwalk". People are judging each other on looks since the cavemen started putting saber tooth tiger teeth around their neck, as an accessory. Those same parents wont exactly be singing about it from the rooftops, but has anyone ever noticed how some parents are constantly blowing on about how gorgeous their little johnny is. Why is it some parents????? Why isnt it all??? Do some parents know in their heart and soul that little mary's photo wont be appearing in the local paper, unless its one of the"The supect spotted here on CCTV" photos. Again, it was a QUESTION I asked!
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. People expect them to have good looking kids! Why? Because Brangelina are good looking. What happens if they're kids turn out to be something that once appeared in Sesame Street. Not much really, I'd expect! Because Mommy and Daddy will say "Im not workin in this fuckin movie, unless my hideous kids are gonna be in it" On the other hand, if Shane McGowan and Courtney Love decided to have children, people would expect something out of the Alien movies.
If all kids were beautiful, then we'd all grow up to be on catwalks and magazine covers. They'd be nobody on the radio!!!!
The one with George Carlin
Monday, June 23, 2008
The one with Jean Elliot
Friday, June 20, 2008
The one with Super Sweet 16's
When it came to the milestone birthdays (check above) I never looked for ponies, BMW's or to be carried into a GAA hall atop a seat carried by half naked, buffed up blokes. Nor did I look for the hot band of the day to turn up and play. Granted, the idea of Guns n Roses turning up to play at my 16th would have been nuts. Slash would have been strung out, on the ground covered in chocolate rice crispy cakes and TK lemonade. Axl wouldn't have turned up and the rest of em probably would have arrived with a few hookers.
I cant understand what the f$%k is wrong with these kids on the Super shite 16 thing on MTV. They are spoilt little shits for the best part. I know I've probably ranted about this in the past, but the parents should be brought out to the Serengeti, covered in BBQ sauce and left fend for themselves. Lions, Cheetahs, hell even a few zebras might take pleasure in removing their ribs through their arse. The ego's are similar to that of Val Kilmer in his "I'm Val fuckin Kilmer" days. Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy. Shut up already! They never get second hand cars and if a second hand car is even mentioned, then the parents may as well have a peek out the window for the dudes and their apocalypse ponies.
I'm all for; if you have it spend it, but some of it is ridiculous. I wonder how much behind the scenes stuff actually goes on? The majority of the kids either get a BMW or a Merc. Given the huge audience this show pulls in, its great product placement for BMW or Mercedes. Does Daddy get a huge discount on the car, or even get it for free. I'd hazard a guess that there is some deal struck up. Same goes for the big stars. Got a new single coming out, hey go on the 16 show. Its watched by millions of teenagers, lets get more of an audience! Ka-ching!!!!!!!
I'm sure some of these kids are nice and polite (I'm sure there was one episode) but for the best part, they are jumped up little shits, who think they've got it all going on. What they should do is take there brand new X5, drive that to the Serengeti, cover it in BBQ sauce and run out of petrol.
On a final note...not for everybody I'd imagine, but hilarious.
Anyway , have a nice weekend. Im in Club Light, Mallow tonight and back on the air Sunday night where Jean Elliot will be in the house!
Thursday, June 19, 2008
The one with the coolest movie clip you'll see all day
http://www.empireonline.com/video/wanted/clip2.asp
Those of you who have read the comic book, Wanted, should be well familiar with this scene. Although how faithful the movie is to the Mark Millar masterpiece, remains to be scene
The one with no nudity...maybe
Make sure to check out the archives too!!!!
Theres been a huge spike in numbers visiting the blog in the last few days, alot to which I suspect has something to do with the word nudity in the titles.
Is this what the web has come to, people trawling for pictures of naked people???? Next; people will be meandering around cyberspace looking for videos of naked people interfering with each other. Maybe there's money in that kinda thing!
I had a few emails this morning calling me a snob. Me, a snob? Come on for f£$k sake!!!! Just because my idea of a decent holiday isnt 2 weeks in Santa bloody Ponsa. People running around in football jerseys and puking their guts out, is my idea of absolute and utter hell. You get out of Cork, to get away from Cork. But by all accounts going to somewhere like SP is the equivilent of going to any Cork suburb. Then theres the lack of inhibitions as you know nobody there, as some listeners said last night. So, you mean you'll take it doggy style over there, but not here? That doesnt make sense, considering the high potential you'll end up bedding a fellow Corkonian. Christ Im bitter!!!
Maybe If I was single in the morning, I'd be over there with my suitcase of condoms, shackles and a Celtic jersey. I was in Spain once though. I was nearly dragged there under tranquilizer. We got a villa from a friend at the time. None of the uncovered crew were about and it was fine, albeit bloody hot. Then New York last year, felt like being inside a Nuclear explosion when it came to heat and humidity. And even being in a little spot outside Alicante, I couldnt rest. We had rented a car for the 10 days and ended up driving all over the place. 3 hours to Benidorm. I just couldnt rest.
I suppose I have a form of AHD. So as you can imagine, New York was bonkers being with me. Up at the crack of dawn and to bed just before it, for over a week. As the Gabby Cabby told me, we saw more of New York than your average New Yorker will see in a lifetime.
At the end of the day, yer holiers are what you make em. But some of them style holiers, arent for me. Not even if I was paid to go......well depends on how much and what the payment method was.
And contrary to what my producer implied last night, I am absolutely amazing to live with. No room for modesty here!
Have a nice day!
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
The one with more nudey bits
More pics from Tunick Installation yesterday. All photos by Dan Linehan from the Irish Examiner. To be honest, I actually thought the one where there all holding up the flowers (lying down) was actually by Spencer Tunick, so hats off to Dan.
A few people are still asking why didnt I do it? Truth be told, I had a plumber calling bright and early yesterday morning. Maybe its a lame ass excuse, but at least theres a new seal in the ensuite shower now :)
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
The one with nudey bits
Hats off to all involved. Fair f$%kin' play!
The one with Stan Winston - RIP
The Oscar winning makeup, creature- and visual-effects genius was gone! He died of complications from multiple myeloma Sunday at his home in Malibu. Stan Winston won Oscars for Aliens, Jurassic Park and Terminator 2. The man and his team have been respsonsible for some of cinemas biggest and best known icons. Without him, the outfits, the suits and motions would never have been as good as they were.
Predator - Check
Terminator - Check
Alien Queen - Check
Iron Man suits - Check
Jurassic Park Dinos - Check
Thats just a tiny sample of some of Stans Work. There must be a very small amount of people worldwide that havent seen or heard about his work!
Back in my film and animation days, I was a huge fan of Stan Winston and his work. The first autograph I ever bought was of Stan Winston, which still hangs on the office wall. Hours and hours were spent nosing through DVD extras looking at Stan's legendary work.
And you know what the say about legends, they live on forever! RIP Stan Winston
Monday, June 16, 2008
The one with the Hulk
Christ, is Norton thin looking. Either way, he's living in a favella in Brazil (Not the richest of places as observed by Ross Kemp in Gangs) trying to find a cure for his anger problem which turns him into a big green, forklift flinging machine. But before we get to Brazil, the film opens with a decent credit sequence and a bit of a back story. Enter Tim Roth who eventually decides he needs some medicine and then decides he needs more and turns into the Abomination. Lets put it this way, if the Hulk arrived to your house to pick up your daughter you'd probably say "God he's a big chap with a weird, tropical skin condition". If the Abomination arrived you'd probably say "Fuck me", to which he probably would!
Anyway, in between a few set pieces which are incredibly well done, theres the usual Stan Lee reference and of course the pizza place, which is called Stanleys. Get it. S-T-A-N-L-E-E-S. Maybe that was just me. Keep your eyes peeled for Stark Industries (from the Iron Man movie) and keep your eyes closed for really poor interactions that borderline on a drunk uncle at a wedding video, between Norton and Liv Tyler. The big shit kick at the end (well what else did you expect) is great. Its tightly edited and belts along frantically. When its all said and done, the last scene with Norton is far too cheesy for me, as is the Hulk Smash scene. Besides these little gripes, its good. Is it as good as Iron Man, God no!!! I always felt this Hulk movie was going to get lost in the Summer movie mash, and I think it will. Either way, 6.5 / 10. Either way a no brainer and if you like it loud and fast, it's cheaper than a hooker. And it could be worse, you could go to see the Happening.
The one with Snoop and the the Munster email
And Snoop......
Yeeeeee Haaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwww
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
The one with the winning joke
A boy takes his girlfriend home for a bit of fun but finds his brother sleeping in the bottom bunk, undaunted they get in the top bunk. He says to the girl- we will use a code- if u want it harder say lettuce, if u want a different position say tomato....... Lettuce lettuce tomato lettuce she says ..... After a hile his brother shouts - will u two stop making fucking sandwiches, the mayonaise is dripping all over my face!! Ella from kanturk
Monday, June 09, 2008
The one with the sexist SATC movie
So, the Sex and the city movie has been seen by thousands of Cork women. Its been open for the last 2 weeks almost and rumour has it, 17 men have seen it! Over the weekend and for the last week I was more or less told by various parties a selection of the following
"Its not for men"
"Oh God, dont bring him, the cinema was full of women, you'll be like a freak"
"Listen, its made for women and women only"
I dont think I've ever suffered the sexist punch before, but this has wound me up no end. I've never heard such bollocks in my life and I should know, I talk enough of it!!!! Im a big fan of the cinema, and am all for the party atmosphere in the flicks. Its great when people stand and cheer at the end of a movie or get dressed up for the occasion. There's plenty of dudes who got out their lightsabers and dressed up as wookies when the Star Wars flicks came to cinemas. So, finally the ladies get a chance to do the same. Evening gowns, imitation Manolas and cheap champagne. Great, it adds to the atmosphere.
Why cant the men go see it with their respective other? I'll tell ya!!!! Its blatant sexism!!!
Bridget Jones - "Cmon love, you might like this. Pleassseeee"
PS I Love you - "Cmon love, you might like this. Its get Berties daughter in it or something. Pleeassseeee
Sex and the City Movie - " Fuck off, your not coming. Play your playbox and that Grand car automatic game or something"
Every other chick flick, man goes along. Alot of the time; man goes along for peace and to gain brownie points. And when the time comes to cashing in the brownie points, its all about getting pant's off!!!! Yup, men tolerate the terrible chick flick for sex! And not just any oul sex. In all probability, they hope it'll be for some really kinky shit. Fingers up bums and the likes.
As Nuala pointed out to me last night, she didnt want men to see how capable they are of hurting women and apparently theres alot of this in the SATC flick! Christ, its like this movie is like the Holy Grail for men. So, for those males out there who want to destroy womenkind, then go see the SATC movie. Therein lies the secret codes. Apparently!!!! If we're good enough for the other chick flicks, then why not this one!
What would happen if you tell your better half that you cant go see the new Batman movie. Its not suitable! Its made for men! I dont care if you are Heath Ledgers biggest fan, you'll never see one of his last flicks because its a lads flick!!!!! Bra's would be burned again!!!! Thats what would happen!!! And there would be no more blow jobs....from women anyway!
One of the other things that grinds my gears with this fake champagne crew, is for some, they actually think they're Carrie. At least the dudes took off their Wookie costume and put it away. Some of these people wouldnt know a Rampant Rabbit from a rabbit hutch! The other thing, is they jump on the popularity bandwagon. "Oh yeah, I loves it. Used always watch it on the.....um..Discovery Channel" That sickens me. People trying to be popular with their so called mates, because of some badly written movie. These fake people should be lined against a wall and shot....twice!
Im not saying that you should be a fan to go see the SATC movie, but you cant be a man by all accounts.
Sunday, June 08, 2008
Friday, June 06, 2008
Thursday, June 05, 2008
The one with Obama
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
The one with the announcement!!!
As mentioned on the show, the man, the legend, the star that is Kevin Smith is back on the show on the Late Night Interview! Sunday evening! Tasters throughout the week!!!
The one with a tropical viral thunder video
From the MTV Movie Awards. IMO, the best thing Ben Stiller has done in years!!!!
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
The one with something happening at 9pm
Monday, June 02, 2008
The one with the summer movie preview!
Superhero Movie [ June 6th ] - From the same shower that brought you Scary Movie and the Naked Gun. Im not a big fan of spoof movies, but I can imagine audiences in Cork laughing out loud at this one. The parody of the spiderman man scene, did crack a smile on my face though.
Gone Baby Gone [ June 6th ] - Child abduction from the brothers Affleck. This is good!!!!
The Happening [ June 13th ] - Yet another movie surround the end of the world or something. From the guy that saw dead people and had Mel Gibson kicking alien ass in Signs. More of the same by all accounts. On the other hand, I enjoy my better half clawing chunks of flesh out of my arm.....during a tense movie of course
The Incredible Hulk [ June 13th ] - Does anyone want another big green bloke movie. When it looks like this and Ed Norton is in it, chalk it fuckin down! Possibly will get lost in the mix between Hellboy and the Bat.
Teeth [ June 20th ] - A Vagina full of teeth? Of course it'll be good. Instant cult classic..maybe. Or else straight to Betamax. Again, I say a vagina full of teeth. Im thinking the thing that comes out of the Alien's mouth.
The Edge of Love [ June 20th ] - Knightley, Miller and our own Cillian Murphy.
Probably not be suitable for men who go around calling everything "fuckin gay". But could make a good one for the rest of us normal folk....or Dylan Thomas fans.
Wanted [ June 27th] - Based on the comic book by Mark Millar. This looks off the charts. Jolie, legs spread, hanging out of a car, shooting shit up. Where do I hang my pants?
Hancock [ July 4th ] - Unless the trailer is better thant the movie, this one is gonna remove alot of pants. Mine is already off.
Wall-E [ July 18th ] - Pixar are back at it again, with what sounds and looks to be their biggest movie to be date. Instant classic I reckon. And yes, thats the wizard from Lord of the Rings!
Star Wars: The Clone Wars [ August 15th ] - Its Star Wars for fuck sake. Animated.
Hellboy II: The Golden Army [ August 22nd ] - The first one was fantastic, and big red is back kicking some more holes. And of course he loves little pussies.......(kittens for crying out loud)
Now those of you reading this will no doubt be wondering about something. The same something that people were wondering about last night. Well, I havent forgotten the Dark Knight, because I reckon this will be the biggest movie this Summer. I cant remember the last time I saw an actor be so consumed by a character. As far as Im concerned, there is no Heath Ledger is the new Dark Knight move [ July 25th ] . Just some bloke called the Joker!!!! And that is testament to the late Mr. Ledger!!!!!!!
So now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thats it for the summer movie preview with a selection of the trailers from last nights Summer Movie preview show. Which was a once off, due to the bank holiday. I do think there is room for a mini version of that show, somewhere embedded in CTB. Watch this space.