Big Top 5 Update, Huge infact!

Late N Live Top 5 signs it’s the first few days in January (3/1/05)

5 – The only change you can get from a shop is a gift voucher

4 – You read it somewhere on a calendar

3 – Its so cold even Mary Harney isn’t sweating

2 – Your after suffering a janurary sale related injury

1 – Your still eating that damn turkey



Late N Live Top 5 New Years Resolutions by Cork people (4/1/05)

5 – Curry with no chips

4 – Give us a break we’re only back 2 days

3 – Only go bottle fighting on Pana once every 2 weeks

2 – Restrict alcohol intake to Weddings, funerals, birthdays and weekends

1 –Try and get a ticket to the City of Culture opening



Late N Live Top 5 signs your on a bad new years diet (5/1/05)

5 – The diet your on comes with a disclaimer that reads May not work for everyone

4 – You're not allowed to eat during months with an "R" in them

3 – One of the tips is to get a salad with your big mac

2 – You know you shouldn’t have to puke to lose weight

1 –Your ass size is gone from a Lopez to a Harney



Late N Live Top 5 things overheard during little womans Christmas (6/1/04)

5 – MMMMMMMm sound effect

4 – So then the milkman came round, and I wouldn’t mind the postman had only just gone

3 – There aint nothing little about a size 24

2 – The last time I saw a body like that I was trying to get underneath it

1 – Its womans little Christmas you idiot



Late N Live Top 5 things you didn’t want to hear from a guy at the Cork 2005 launch (10/1/05)

5 – The last time I heard so many bangs, I was staying in a cheap hotel

4 – Watch your step there love, I just got sick

3 – Ya know I got my own inflatable at home

2 – Ya I got a good deal on a loan off Sean Og

1 – I stay up longer than the fireworks



Late N Live Top 5 signs you’ve spent to much money in the January Sales (11/1/05)

5 - Credit card statement hand delivered by someone from Visa

4 – Person from Visa refuses to leave your house until you make a minimum payment

3 – You’ve spent more than your wife, and lets face it, that’s impressive

2 – The only thing left in your wallet is that condom from 2002

1 – Nothing works, nothing fits and you’ve no reciepts



Late N Live Top 5 things overheard at the Late N Live Top 5 1 Year Anniversary Party 12/1/05

5 – Whod have thought it takes him a whole week to write each top 5

4 – Isnt this a half arsed version of the david letterman top 10, literally

3 – Sometimes its actually funny

2 – Yeah, but this isn’t one of those times

1 – Look, theres Mr.Barry…naked ontop of the photocopier



Late N Live Top 5 signs that digital camera you got for Xmas was a bad idea (13/1/05)

5 – You still don’t know how to work it

4 – The only time you took some nature photography you got arrested

3 – You’ve decided that it was a bad idea to lend it to your parents on their “weekend away”

2 – When it comes to taking a pic of yourself nude, nothing seems to work, and we’re not talking about the camera

1 – Your more popular than Paris Hilton when it comes to downloads



Late N Live Top 5 reasons you didn’t win a golden globe (17/1/05)

5 –Brown Envelope not big enough

4 – If your name is Paris Hilton, aren’t you expecting a little too much

3 – Its that age old excuse again, actually we couldn’t come up with a number 3 to be honest

2 – Hello! Did you see anyone from Cork nominated for one

1 – That damn Clint Eastwood



Late N Live Top 5 features of a really scary haunted house (18/1/05)

5 –Colin Farrell, without a pint in his hand

4 – On the wall hangs a movie poster for Charlies Angels 3

3 – A very hungry health Minister

2 – Step-by-step demonstration of how a chicken becomes a mcnugget

1 – The possibility michael Jackson might jump out and say “wanna come to my place”



Late N Live Top 5 things overheard at President Bushs in augaration (20/1/05)

5 – There sure are a lot of fat ugly women here, oh look theres Bill Clinton

4 – Look Dick Cheneys daughter is getting it on with a man…sorry, its only Rosie O Donnell

3 – Man, those bush twins have been on the booze again

2 – Whod have thought I would be so difficult to say I do

1 – Whod have thought there would be loads of snow here, well george will feel right at home



Late N Live Top 5 signs your getting stressed out (24/1/05)

5 – Anytime your asked to cook, you make a Molotov cocktail and ask when and where

4 – Family pet has decided to go and live with the neighbours

3 – People no longer ask you questions, instead they feel its safer to email them

2 – Doors no longer need hinges in your house

1 – When it comes to sex night the only thing that you can pop is an anadin



Late N Live Top 5 things over heard when Ray Bruke arrived in Prison (25/1/05)

5 – Of all the famous people to go to prison we get this guy

4 – Hes a big man alright, Id say hes eaten plenty of meat in his time

3 – Lux or Imperial Leather

2 – Looks like we finally have a great teacher!

1 – I wonder does he take a shampoo AND a conditioner into the shower



Late N Live Top 5 prison pick up lines (26/1/05)

5 – Wanna borrow my soap

4 – Actually my real name is Sheila

3 – Look we haven’t been in prison yet, so we’re having trouble with this one

2 – So yours is the top bunk, got room for one more

1 – A former minister.mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm



Late N Live Top 5 signs you’re spending too much time in bed (27/1/05)

5 – Bed doesn’t have as much soakage as it used to

4 – The only love of your life is a lavender pillow

3 – You look like Tom Cruise in that Castaway movie

2 – Your sheets are so stiff you could cut them up and use them as crackers

1 – The bed bugs don’t bite anymore, now they’re actually down to the bone