Jennifer's Body

The horror genre continues its revival and its latest offering has the bride from Mama Mia and the mechanic from Transformers 2 getting gored up. Click the poster to continue reading the rest of the review :)

The one with testicles

Its funny how you forget things if they haven’t happened to you in an incredibly long time. Yesterday, my right testicle was involved in an incredible collision with one of the dogs toys.

Recently, we bought 2 new toys for the dogs, and one of these was a fluffy duck. And for some reason unbeknownst to everyone except the manufacturer, they had stuck a giant, hard ball inside the duck. I suppose in a way, that's hugely beneficial to the dogs and it means the toy isn’t eaten in a matter of seconds.

And whilst lounging on the couch in the kitchen yesterday, my new wife decided it would be hilarious to throw the aforementioned toy at yours truly. Like a scene out of the Matrix, time slowed down as I witnessed this flying, furry duck hurtling towards me. It shot past the fridge, over a table and unlike Neo, I was unable to get out of the way. And then the collision with my right testicle happened. First there was nothing, but in the half blink of an eye the pain erupted. Like a dormant volcano, I hadn’t felt pain like this since primary school, which was around the last time I got a belt into the baby factory. Like a big sack of spuds, I collapsed off the couch onto the ground, holding the baby factory, drooling and screaming like something out of Patrick St. on a Saturday night.

The wife couldn’t stop laughing and the dogs started lapping up my pain infused drool which was exiting my mouth like ping pong balls in a dodgy thai “adult” show. I remained on the ground for some time, before I managed to crawl back onto the couch. Then the “I never hit you there” started. And after some convincing which incorporated many fine expletives, the wife decided to apologise. Words of “Kiss it better” fell on deaf ears though! So if you think your having a bad day, try being my right testicle!

The one on Wednesday

Forza 3 up for grabs on the Gadgets and Gaming bit this evening....

The one with a fork lift

The one after Halloween

Another night of ghosts, ghouls and scobes draws to an end! We missed all the trick or treaters, due to yours truly thundering off the buy a cheap shirt to destroy with food colouring. And by the time we came back after getting fed in the process, most of the little ones had gone home with their bags of sweets. No doubt, an hour later they were doing their best, Exorcist projectile vomit impressions.

The outfit for the fancy dress bash at Club D’Ville got a few comments afterward. People obviously thought I was in an almighty punch up. “You alright biy? You need an ambulance or anything” was one such comment I got in a garage. A group of girls refused to get out of a car after spotting me and were all to quick to pull their mate back into the car, saying “Stay in the car, stay in the car”. Another bloke said “Fuck, that was some batin’ ya got”. Thankfully nobody called the cops as I did look like I had butchered a small housing estate! I had a t-shirt wrapped around the seat in case the food colouring would make shit of the car seat, which would have looked even more dodge If I were stopped by the lads in blue!

Managed to convince the wife to watch Drag me to Hell on Blu-Ray, which is a great flick and incredibly funny with the occasional “JUMP” moment. Wife terrified of the whole thing. Clung to me arm until I eventually reminded her that I need my right arm for writing, cooking and..um…other things. It didn’t matter, she still clawed the shit out of it!

The one on Halloween

Have a good Halloween! Huge fancy dress bash in Club D'ville, Charleville tonight - Doors 11pm

The one with the Kino

Public meeting re: Kino has changed venue to the Opera House tomorrow, at 2pm!!!!!

The one with a leopard in an Audi

The one with Sky on the Xbox 360

So after an initial “delay” where the boffins at Sky and Microsoft had to clock in for some over time, I finally got to check out the Sky player on the Xbox 360 last night.

So big deal I hear you whimper at your screen! And maybe you’d be right! Sure if you want to watch Sky you’ll watch it on a TV with a Sky boxed attached! But there’s something incredible about having a video games console pretend its a Sky box. Its a fantastic feat in my book. Stop playing Forza 3 and have a quick peep at Sky News. And sure why not. And the best thing is you don’t have to go changing channels as its all contained in your 360.

Then I had a bit more of an indepth nose around with the on demand services. Being a Sky Movies subscriber I get access to hundreds and hundreds of on demand movies. Which in a nutshell is similar to Sky Anytime, except this isn’t the anorexic Sky anytime. No sir, this is a morbidly obese, ready for a gastric bypass Sky anytime. I was blown away with the selection of movies, as I said hundreds and hundreds. And try the Sky sports section, truck loads of highlights and live events for you to catch up on. If only an actual Sky +HD box had this kind of capability, although I’d imagine the future for Sky will involve alot like this! And speaking of the future, its going to be streaming all the way!

Now, If I had a criticism it would be that there is no HD or Dolby Digital content on the service, which given the Zune marketplace is bursting at the seems with it, is a bit of surprise. But an educated guess would lead me to believe that HD will follow in due course!

You don’t even have to be a sky subscriber to avail of the service as you can pay for it through your 360 but if you are a sky subscriber (Movies/Sports etc) then this is all for free! Just log in with your sky user name and password!

Either way its an amazing process and couple this with the recent Twitter / Facebook /  1080p streaming Vids, you have Microsoft belting this one right out of the park! In the words of Darth, “Impressive”. I’m a huge Sony fan. I’ll always look for a Sony product over anything else but with the recent updates to the 360, the Playstation 3 is so far behind at this point, it’ll need Marty McFly in a Delorean to catch up!

The one with Pulp Fiction mash up

In the words of Darth "Impressive"