Got some liquid nitrogen hanging around? Got a swimming pool? Well this should pass away a few minutes...
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
The one with swinging
Great and interesting reaction to the swinging topic last night. Many people were of the opinion that the swingers were dirty, slimy perverts. And a selection were saying fair play, if it floats your boat, put up your sail!
It was fascinating talking to the callers and how the whole scene works. Would it float my boat? as many wanted to know. I suppose to a point. Years of porn watching, probably has desensitised me to the whole thing. As the old saying goes, we'd all go for a look. And theres not much point going to the fairground or "da merries" without having a go on the bumpers. But as is the norm with the bumpers, be prepared to get hit from behind. Otherwise tell the other drivers to stay in front of ya.
But what happens if your performance is lack luster or ends quite early. What do you do then? Hang around, watch and try and get going again? Offer words of encouragement to the other swingers? Or maybe turn on the TV in another room and watch the news? I would imagine that for some people the thought of being in a room with a load of naked, horny folk would be quite exciting. It might be too exciting for that said few though. A tap on the shoulder could be enough to end someones evening prematurely.
The idea of an outside broadcast from a swinging party had crossed my mind, and its still in my mind if truth be told. I can imagine it now.
"This is Cork Talks Back with Victor Barry, hang on a sec, theres a couple having sex on top of the desk. Watch the mics folks will ye, there expensive. Anyway call us......."
I'm a very liberal person and quite open to lots of things. So whatever floats your boat, hoist the sail and sail on!
I should have been at Cork week!
It was fascinating talking to the callers and how the whole scene works. Would it float my boat? as many wanted to know. I suppose to a point. Years of porn watching, probably has desensitised me to the whole thing. As the old saying goes, we'd all go for a look. And theres not much point going to the fairground or "da merries" without having a go on the bumpers. But as is the norm with the bumpers, be prepared to get hit from behind. Otherwise tell the other drivers to stay in front of ya.
But what happens if your performance is lack luster or ends quite early. What do you do then? Hang around, watch and try and get going again? Offer words of encouragement to the other swingers? Or maybe turn on the TV in another room and watch the news? I would imagine that for some people the thought of being in a room with a load of naked, horny folk would be quite exciting. It might be too exciting for that said few though. A tap on the shoulder could be enough to end someones evening prematurely.
The idea of an outside broadcast from a swinging party had crossed my mind, and its still in my mind if truth be told. I can imagine it now.
"This is Cork Talks Back with Victor Barry, hang on a sec, theres a couple having sex on top of the desk. Watch the mics folks will ye, there expensive. Anyway call us......."
I'm a very liberal person and quite open to lots of things. So whatever floats your boat, hoist the sail and sail on!
I should have been at Cork week!
The one with Harry Potter
For some time now, I've always been accused of not giving Harry Potter a fair go. And Im not about to give it a fair go. I can appreciate they hype and moolah old Ma Rowling has pulled in and how successful the movies are, but the thought of that young fella jumping around the place with a broom just makes me cringe. All the hocus pocus shite inspires me to reach into a bucket and hurl up me breakfast.
But, Ive decided to be nice this morning and put up a teaser trailer for the new Harry Potter and the Half dead Prince or whatever its called....
But, Ive decided to be nice this morning and put up a teaser trailer for the new Harry Potter and the Half dead Prince or whatever its called....
Monday, July 28, 2008
The one with a Spider Pig sequel
Well, the bottom of the barell has been scraped for the title and Ive just opened another one for the actual content. Hang on...right..something of interest..just in time for the lunchtime blog rush.
For years now theres always been a manner of strange shit making the news from, not Ballincollig, but China. You know the sort, man grows horns out of his head, 2 headed cats and a monkey that smokes cigarettes out of his arse. For quite some time now, Ive always wondered just what the fuck is in the water in China. Is it heroin? Is it that bug that got into the water supply in Galway? Is it Alien ejaculate? I really don't know, but its some crazy shit either way.
So, whats come out of China to warrant such a blogging....
Well, for those of you who are fans of the Simpson's movie, no doubt you will all have taken off your pants and skirts for the Spider pig part. You, like I, no doubt have sung that song on many occasions. Primarily at weddings and funerals no doubt. So with the Spider Pig in your mind...take a look at this......
"It’s hideous. No one will be willing to buy it, and it scares the family to even look at it!" Feng told Oriental Today. He says the piglet looks just like a monkey, with two thin lips, a small nose and two big eyes. Its rear legs are also much longer than its forelegs, causing it to jump instead of walk.
I suppose whats happened in China; brings a whole new meaning to the game Cork Gentleman play, Pull the Pig!!!! Obviously this game has now spread to the indigenous monkey tribes of China!
Enjoy the rest of your lunch!
For years now theres always been a manner of strange shit making the news from, not Ballincollig, but China. You know the sort, man grows horns out of his head, 2 headed cats and a monkey that smokes cigarettes out of his arse. For quite some time now, Ive always wondered just what the fuck is in the water in China. Is it heroin? Is it that bug that got into the water supply in Galway? Is it Alien ejaculate? I really don't know, but its some crazy shit either way.
So, whats come out of China to warrant such a blogging....
Well, for those of you who are fans of the Simpson's movie, no doubt you will all have taken off your pants and skirts for the Spider pig part. You, like I, no doubt have sung that song on many occasions. Primarily at weddings and funerals no doubt. So with the Spider Pig in your mind...take a look at this......
"It’s hideous. No one will be willing to buy it, and it scares the family to even look at it!" Feng told Oriental Today. He says the piglet looks just like a monkey, with two thin lips, a small nose and two big eyes. Its rear legs are also much longer than its forelegs, causing it to jump instead of walk.That's the lowdown. A monkey pig. Now is this the alien ejaculate that I spoke of, getting into the pigs drinking water. I'm no scientist, but I would think not. Is there some bizarre cross species breeding going on? Again, I'm no scientist, but Id imagine some horned up monkey is responsible for this. It may even be one of the monkeys that smoked fags from its hole. How does something like this happen? Were there dates and dinners? Was it planned? Or was it one of them "What dya mean you didnt wear a condom?" moments. Then; said monkey decided enough was enough, and his fetish for pig humping was over. He then went back to smoking fags from his backside. Up a tree somewhere.
I suppose whats happened in China; brings a whole new meaning to the game Cork Gentleman play, Pull the Pig!!!! Obviously this game has now spread to the indigenous monkey tribes of China!
Enjoy the rest of your lunch!
Saturday, July 26, 2008
The one with The Dark Knight redux
Went to see the Dark Knight for the second time last night. Firstly; the last time I saw a queue as long as the one I saw last night, was back in 1989. The Capitol Cineplex on the Grand Parade was reopening, and Tim Burton's Batman was the first movie to be shown there. The queue snaked around onto Patrick Street. Last night was pretty similar, for the late showing in Mahon Point.
So is it better second time round. To me, it is. But I ran out of steam by the end. I was absolutely knackered tired. Originally, as previously mentioned, I got sucked into the hype machine and couldn't absorb as much as I wanted. Second time round, I soaked the thing up like a big sponge. Ledgers performance gave me chills and shivers on more than one occasion. As a whole, I was able to appreciate Christopher Nolan's masterpiece a little bit more.
Up to a particular point in the Dark Knight, people were laughing along at the Jokers lunacy. After this particular point which I wont mention (spoilers and all that), the whole place was absolutely silent. No longer were there little laughs. No longer were there little giggles. It was pure "This fecker is absolutely out of his freakin mind"
Now that the hype, for me, is over. Whats wrong with the movie? Not a great deal really. By the time you finish watching the movie, you'll realise that everybody was banking on Heath Ledger to be around for another stint as the greatest villian ever portrayed on screen.
My original, hype induced 11/10, does that still stand? No. If I have to be honest, it doesn't still stand.
But 10/10 does!!!!!
So is it better second time round. To me, it is. But I ran out of steam by the end. I was absolutely knackered tired. Originally, as previously mentioned, I got sucked into the hype machine and couldn't absorb as much as I wanted. Second time round, I soaked the thing up like a big sponge. Ledgers performance gave me chills and shivers on more than one occasion. As a whole, I was able to appreciate Christopher Nolan's masterpiece a little bit more.
Up to a particular point in the Dark Knight, people were laughing along at the Jokers lunacy. After this particular point which I wont mention (spoilers and all that), the whole place was absolutely silent. No longer were there little laughs. No longer were there little giggles. It was pure "This fecker is absolutely out of his freakin mind"
Now that the hype, for me, is over. Whats wrong with the movie? Not a great deal really. By the time you finish watching the movie, you'll realise that everybody was banking on Heath Ledger to be around for another stint as the greatest villian ever portrayed on screen.
My original, hype induced 11/10, does that still stand? No. If I have to be honest, it doesn't still stand.
But 10/10 does!!!!!
Friday, July 25, 2008
The one with a poll
Going to start throwing a few polls on here now and again. Dark Knight poll up and running, in the sidebar on the right. Scroll down and vote......you know it'll make you feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside!
Thursday, July 24, 2008
The one with my Dark Knight take!
Just back from seeing the Dark Knight and, yes it does live up to the hype. Ledger is amazing as the Joker, but as Ive said on here and on air, it is extremely difficult to determine that the Joker is played by an actor. For all its worth, its just some Gotham city nut job that they found in a cage somewhere. Heath Ledgers performance is that convincing. And as previously mentioned, I dont think I can recall an actor being so consumed by a role. Does it warrant an Oscar, damn right it does! I tried to see Heath Ledger in this movie, but for the life of me I couldnt! Its all Joker!!!!!! He has knocked Jack Nicholsons performance of the Joker into a week so far away, they'd need the Millenium Falcon to find it!
Im not going into the plot to a great degree, but basically Joker wants to kill Batman and find out who the man behind the mask is. And of course, it involves the mob and their life savings. There are plenty of twists and turns along the way, and the 152 minute movie rockets along like the Batpod.
The whole thing looks amazing. Dark and gritty, the way Gotham should be. The acting is top notch. The wonderful "fuck me thats an actual truck they flipped" action sequences are stunning. Mix in a superb score from Hans Zimmer and James Newton Howard and Christopher Nolan put together a helluva fuckin movie!!!!! Finally a superhero / comic book flick that doesnt stop off at the deli and pile on the cheese. This movie is dark, violent and brutal. The way it should be!
If I had to be critical of the the Dark Knight, I'd criticise myself. Over the last few days , I got completely and utterly sucked into the hype machine. I went into the cinema expecting the second coming of christ. But, Jesus didnt tear through the screen on a Jesus Bat Pod, unfortunately. So with all the hype swilling around in my mind, I was looking at the movie through a hazey gaze. And I felt at times, parts were not registering in my mind, I was that caught up in the hype. And Im finding it very hard to put into words what an amazing piece of work this is.
Let me put it like this. When you reach a certain age, all you want to do is have sex. You wait for years and eventually you get on top of someone. The first time isnt really mind blowing, but it feels good. From then on, each time you get your pants off, the sex gets better every time you do it. And to me thats what The Dark Knight is. Because there is so much to absorb in this mindblowing piece of cinema, it gets better every time you see it. It is the cinematic event of the year, and one that will remain in your mind for quite some time. For me, my pants is already taken off for tomorrow night!
11/10
Im not going into the plot to a great degree, but basically Joker wants to kill Batman and find out who the man behind the mask is. And of course, it involves the mob and their life savings. There are plenty of twists and turns along the way, and the 152 minute movie rockets along like the Batpod.
The whole thing looks amazing. Dark and gritty, the way Gotham should be. The acting is top notch. The wonderful "fuck me thats an actual truck they flipped" action sequences are stunning. Mix in a superb score from Hans Zimmer and James Newton Howard and Christopher Nolan put together a helluva fuckin movie!!!!! Finally a superhero / comic book flick that doesnt stop off at the deli and pile on the cheese. This movie is dark, violent and brutal. The way it should be!
If I had to be critical of the the Dark Knight, I'd criticise myself. Over the last few days , I got completely and utterly sucked into the hype machine. I went into the cinema expecting the second coming of christ. But, Jesus didnt tear through the screen on a Jesus Bat Pod, unfortunately. So with all the hype swilling around in my mind, I was looking at the movie through a hazey gaze. And I felt at times, parts were not registering in my mind, I was that caught up in the hype. And Im finding it very hard to put into words what an amazing piece of work this is.
Let me put it like this. When you reach a certain age, all you want to do is have sex. You wait for years and eventually you get on top of someone. The first time isnt really mind blowing, but it feels good. From then on, each time you get your pants off, the sex gets better every time you do it. And to me thats what The Dark Knight is. Because there is so much to absorb in this mindblowing piece of cinema, it gets better every time you see it. It is the cinematic event of the year, and one that will remain in your mind for quite some time. For me, my pants is already taken off for tomorrow night!
11/10
The one where I got the blog back
Yesterday was a bonkers day on the blog, as Im sure you'll agree. Either way, its all back to normal now. I couldnt get access to the blog at all yesterday. Really feckin annoying. With the exception of the graphics, which have to stay the way they are for the next week. And the icing on the cake, this following email arrived in the inbox this morning.
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From: thebiggestfreakofthemall@bitfatbatwilldie.com
Re: YoUr LiTTlE BlOg
ItS AlLs YoURs ViCkY BoY. YoU ArE AlWaYs On aBouT AsSeS bEiNg PuLlEd oUT PeOplES CHEStS. WelL, lEave ThIngS ThE WaY THEy ArE fOr the WeEk aNd You WOnT FinD ouT HoW an ASs RiPPEd ThrOuGH YoUR CHESt FeeLS lIKe.
WaRmEsT ReGaRdS
JoKEr
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Other than that, its all back to normal. My take on the Dark Knight will be up here around 5ish today. I cannot wait to see this flick. Im so excited, Im going to the cinema without no pants on! It'll save me doing it during the flick :)
--------
From: thebiggestfreakofthemall@bitfatbatwilldie.com
Re: YoUr LiTTlE BlOg
ItS AlLs YoURs ViCkY BoY. YoU ArE AlWaYs On aBouT AsSeS bEiNg PuLlEd oUT PeOplES CHEStS. WelL, lEave ThIngS ThE WaY THEy ArE fOr the WeEk aNd You WOnT FinD ouT HoW an ASs RiPPEd ThrOuGH YoUR CHESt FeeLS lIKe.
WaRmEsT ReGaRdS
JoKEr
--------
Other than that, its all back to normal. My take on the Dark Knight will be up here around 5ish today. I cannot wait to see this flick. Im so excited, Im going to the cinema without no pants on! It'll save me doing it during the flick :)
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Why so serious you FREAK!!!!!!!
IvE grOWN BoREd wiTh YoUr BlOgHaVe iT BaCK fRoM MiDNIGHt
ItS YoUrS tO PoSt YouR ShiT oN aGaIn
DoNt ChaNgE aNy Of mY HaNdY WorK fOr 7 DaYs oR YoU kNoW WhAT WIlL HaPPEn
SeE yA ArOunD FREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!
!!!
!!
!
FreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaK
I cAn HeAR yA ViC
WhO ARe ThE FrEAkS oN AiR?
11:45pm :)
11:45pm :)
11:45pm :)
11:45pm :)
11:45pm :)
11:45pm :)
11:45pm :)
11:45pm :)
11:45pm :)
11:45pm :)
11:45pm :)
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