Bottle insertions and being on the other side of the ditch, all cropped up last night in a jammed pack show! I gotta say I was more thrashed than usual after getting off the air last night, twas pretty intense as a man once said somewhere in Skibereen.
I dont have a great deal of time on my hands at the moment, but the following is from todays Indo
A MAN who drank six litres of cider at a party went on to steal a goat and take it on a joyride, a court heard. Drunken Carl Anthony Myles took a shine to 11-month-old Snowy as he walked home from a party last month. Neath magistrates' court heard that, after leading the goat from a local smallholding, Myles put it in the back of a Volvo car belonging to a farmer Huw Leyshon who lived nearby. He was apprehended by Mr Leyshon after crashing his car into a tractor. Snowy died two days later.
With that, Im going to leave the blog update till tomorrow when my head is properly screwed on!
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Thats it now, well until the October bank holiday weekend anyways. Bank Holidays are great, the roads are jammed, the shops are packed and your better off staying inside waiting for it to end. Yesterday was no different. We decided to take a spin to Kinsale just after lunchtime, for the lack of something to do. We reached the turnoff for the old head (yes the one with all the signposts) and to my utter amazement the traffic was backed up this far. I was aware of a short cut into the town, so after a 6.7 turn and 15 minutes of driving through back roads, boreens and farm yards we ended up in the middle of a parade of cars in Kinsale. Well, that was my inital thought, but it was traffic. This time the traffic was backed up all over and in all my wisdom I decided to do another 6.7 turn, only this time it was between 2 parked cars on either side of the road and it turned out to be a 17.3 point turn. The 3 bikers that were behind me werent that impressed with my turning ability and kept scowling. I had a good mind to drive over them, but as the car is relatively new, I didnt want to incur the cost of a repair job. Innishannon went whizzing by, as did Ballinadee. After 3 hours and the most long winded journey we ended up in Clonakilty and drove around the town and headed for home. Wonderful. It was only late last night that I discovered that there was a regatta in Kinsale. It might be an idea in future, for any towns that are having a regatte, to have a big billboard, or even a sign on the outskirts of the town. Nohing to complicated, just something that reads "If you want to come into the town, please abandon your car in an orderly fashion and walk"
Saturday morning I decided to have a deli cooked breakfast, but by the time I got out of bed, it was a lunch I ended up having. Now Im a liberal guy at the best of times, but the sight of a scantily clad couple "being in love" at the deli counter was almost enough for me to offer the back seat of the car. She was dressed in a short shorts, which was about a full dinner away from the toe of the camel, and a skimpy top. Nothing wrong there I hear you say. He was dressed in the ankle shorts and those marvellous sleeveless t-shirts that read Diadora or something. His Celtic tatoo was in full display as was his was "designer stubble" that he must have been growing since 1995. The hugging, the arse grabbing and the full on squeezing started as they approached the counter. He decided to order the aphrodisiac roll, which consisted of eggs, mayo, egg mayonaise and onions. Lovely, that'll set the mood all right. She just ordered an onion or something, obviously afraid that her man might trade her up if she got anything resembling a normal lunch. Well with the stubble thats being growing for 11 years, I couldnt blame her. Not long after this deli love fest they left to go home, or go behind a bush. He probably gorged himself on his egg and onion mush roll, while she watched with hungry eyes, after eating her onion. I would think not long after that, they had sex, which would have been quite memorable. What with her stomach roaring from hunger and his egg and onion combo breath! Theres a time and place for all the above carry on, but for christs sake if your going to try and get it on in a deli, at least take off your clothes......and keep off the bread rolls!
Saturday morning I decided to have a deli cooked breakfast, but by the time I got out of bed, it was a lunch I ended up having. Now Im a liberal guy at the best of times, but the sight of a scantily clad couple "being in love" at the deli counter was almost enough for me to offer the back seat of the car. She was dressed in a short shorts, which was about a full dinner away from the toe of the camel, and a skimpy top. Nothing wrong there I hear you say. He was dressed in the ankle shorts and those marvellous sleeveless t-shirts that read Diadora or something. His Celtic tatoo was in full display as was his was "designer stubble" that he must have been growing since 1995. The hugging, the arse grabbing and the full on squeezing started as they approached the counter. He decided to order the aphrodisiac roll, which consisted of eggs, mayo, egg mayonaise and onions. Lovely, that'll set the mood all right. She just ordered an onion or something, obviously afraid that her man might trade her up if she got anything resembling a normal lunch. Well with the stubble thats being growing for 11 years, I couldnt blame her. Not long after this deli love fest they left to go home, or go behind a bush. He probably gorged himself on his egg and onion mush roll, while she watched with hungry eyes, after eating her onion. I would think not long after that, they had sex, which would have been quite memorable. What with her stomach roaring from hunger and his egg and onion combo breath! Theres a time and place for all the above carry on, but for christs sake if your going to try and get it on in a deli, at least take off your clothes......and keep off the bread rolls!
Friday, August 04, 2006
Snatch
Last night, as a way to wind down to the bank holiday weekend, The Snatch comedy improv paid a visit to the studio in the 11 hour. It was something different for Cork Talks Back and a nice way to start off the long weekend! What follows are a few vids and pics. Enjoy! Dont forget we ARE on the air Bank Holiday Sunday witha Get it Off Your Chest Sunday!
Thursday, August 03, 2006
MTV was re-christened Mainstream TV last night by some of the listeners. And quite rightly so too. Ive been an MTV fan from as far back as I can remember, while sometimes thats as good as a week, Ive grown up with it. We never had MTV in the house when I was younger, due to the oul Southcoast crowd not broadcasting it. There was always light at the end of the tunnel though. When I made it to secondary school, I made friends with a few lads from Douglas / Rochestown. They were so better off than me that they had cable, or Multi Channel as it was back then. That meant one thing, MTV. It was MTV that Im sure showed me scantily clad, gyrating women. For that I am indebted to them. But lads almighty, what has gone wrong in the last couple of years. Theres no more bloody music videos on MTV, if you want that you have to go to one of the other MTV music channels. Maybe its the principal of the thing, that if you turn on a channel known as Music Television, you'd expect music videos. The last thing one expects is some spoilt rotten little 15 year old, B$%ch roaring the Mansion down because daddy wont let her have a herd of elephants piloted by chimpanzees dressed in 3 piece suits, playing guitars.
I applaud the parents on this show, who dont give in to their little darlings mad demands. The ones who give in though, and provide the elephants and chimps with guitars should be taken into the middle of some jungle to live with a tribe of chimpanzees. Im sure the chimps will provide a banjo at the least. Meanwhile the little miss, will soon be evicted because the mortgage wont be paid, the phone will be cut off as will everything else. Then with nowhere to go, she'll wander off around the place and thankfully disappear into oblivion. My super sweet disappearing act!!!!
Anyways, thats my lot for today, meetings and other things are on the agenda from 5. Check out the show later on for the usual madness and bedlam AND something different to boot. The Snatch improv comedy troupe will be in the studio, looking for a script of sorts and direction from YOU!!!!
I applaud the parents on this show, who dont give in to their little darlings mad demands. The ones who give in though, and provide the elephants and chimps with guitars should be taken into the middle of some jungle to live with a tribe of chimpanzees. Im sure the chimps will provide a banjo at the least. Meanwhile the little miss, will soon be evicted because the mortgage wont be paid, the phone will be cut off as will everything else. Then with nowhere to go, she'll wander off around the place and thankfully disappear into oblivion. My super sweet disappearing act!!!!
Anyways, thats my lot for today, meetings and other things are on the agenda from 5. Check out the show later on for the usual madness and bedlam AND something different to boot. The Snatch improv comedy troupe will be in the studio, looking for a script of sorts and direction from YOU!!!!
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
FNR
Last night saw our Ride For Life campaign being put on the back burner. I am confident that we dont need to be encouraging the Cork public to be concieving in the car park any more. I believe they have got the message, and the City is well on the way to coming level at the least, with the population of the county. Im not asking for any medals or anything, Im just glad we were able to help. Roll on the next Census.
The Feed Nicole Richie campaign kicked off officially this morning, as Im sure you can see with the official posters below this text. Years ago when I was younger, ok many moons ago, my mother always thought me an important message. She said that I should never inquire to friends, as to what they had for dinner. She concluded by saying it was rude. So for the last 30 years I have never once asked anyone what they ate for breakfast, lunch or dinner. I concede that I did ask Dave Mac on occasion what he consumed, but this was for show purposes. Today, for the first time, I asked myself "What does Nicole Richie eat for dinner?" After much deliberating and even soul searching I came up with an answer. I know most of you are saying she doesnt eat anything and you are all WRONG. Nicole Richie does eat, and like most of us, she eats the wrong things. How Ms. Richie can sit down to a big plate full of air, and think its healthy is beyond me. Yes folks, she eats. While it may be air, of varying degrees, she does eat. With my Feed Nicole Richie campaign, my aim is to ensure she eats normal food. Junk food or otherwise. Hopefully all the donations will provide Nicole with a quarter pounder with cheese as opposed to her daily canister of compressed air. The benefits of being so thin are far and few between. Ive never been at a party with Nicole Richie in attendance, but I wouldnt mind attending one in the future. Id imagine she'd be impossible to get close to due to her plethora of party tricks. Party goers would be queing up to open their bottles of beer off her hip bones. When that got boring, Nicole would bend down and revlers would simply open their beer off her shoulder blades. My FNR campaign may or may not work. Chances are it wont, but if the Goal or Trocaire people are reading this, why not drop off a box of that plumpy nut mush to Beverley Hills. The even more ironic thing is that, Nicole is American and its the first time Ive heard of a hungry yank.
Besides the posters, the FNR campaign has also an official wallpaper for your desktop. Simply click on the image, Save As and set it as your wallpaper!
The Feed Nicole Richie campaign kicked off officially this morning, as Im sure you can see with the official posters below this text. Years ago when I was younger, ok many moons ago, my mother always thought me an important message. She said that I should never inquire to friends, as to what they had for dinner. She concluded by saying it was rude. So for the last 30 years I have never once asked anyone what they ate for breakfast, lunch or dinner. I concede that I did ask Dave Mac on occasion what he consumed, but this was for show purposes. Today, for the first time, I asked myself "What does Nicole Richie eat for dinner?" After much deliberating and even soul searching I came up with an answer. I know most of you are saying she doesnt eat anything and you are all WRONG. Nicole Richie does eat, and like most of us, she eats the wrong things. How Ms. Richie can sit down to a big plate full of air, and think its healthy is beyond me. Yes folks, she eats. While it may be air, of varying degrees, she does eat. With my Feed Nicole Richie campaign, my aim is to ensure she eats normal food. Junk food or otherwise. Hopefully all the donations will provide Nicole with a quarter pounder with cheese as opposed to her daily canister of compressed air. The benefits of being so thin are far and few between. Ive never been at a party with Nicole Richie in attendance, but I wouldnt mind attending one in the future. Id imagine she'd be impossible to get close to due to her plethora of party tricks. Party goers would be queing up to open their bottles of beer off her hip bones. When that got boring, Nicole would bend down and revlers would simply open their beer off her shoulder blades. My FNR campaign may or may not work. Chances are it wont, but if the Goal or Trocaire people are reading this, why not drop off a box of that plumpy nut mush to Beverley Hills. The even more ironic thing is that, Nicole is American and its the first time Ive heard of a hungry yank.
Besides the posters, the FNR campaign has also an official wallpaper for your desktop. Simply click on the image, Save As and set it as your wallpaper!
Monday, July 31, 2006
Hoody
We were so busy with Get it off your Chest last night, that I didnt manage to get anything off my Chest. Yesterday afternoon, I was driving home from another tasty Sunday lunch cooked by my mother. A Honda Civic (what else!!!) was driving in front of me, manned by 5 "lads". Those of you who didnt stay in bed all day yesterday, due to a bad night before, will have been well aware of how humid the place was. In the back of the Civic (again I say what else?) were 3 lads, all more or less sitting too close to each other. One was wearing a hoody, with the hood up, in the back of a Honda Civic. It made me laugh, normally its the driver that has the hood up, in a Honda Civic (What else). In my miniscule collection of clothing there are at least 1 hoody. I wear it now and again, and on occasion, when its bucketing down I put the hood up. I have alot of time on my hands, and I spent the best part of the last 24 hours, quandering over why some "lad" would want to wear a hoody, with the hood up in the back of a Civic. The Civic has long been the staple insurance struggle for the boy racer, not car enthusiast. The wearing of ones hood in an upright manner, in the back of a Civic, may well be percieved to be cool amongst the 18" spinning rim, 92 Opel Corsa owners. So for Christs sake, if theres any other "lads" out there who enjoy wearing a hoody, with the hood up in a car, make sure your the bloody driver.
On Saturday afternoon I took a trip to Mallow, with the loved one. After wandering around I have to say I was suitably impressed. Parts of Mallow have been completely redeveloped, in particular where the Pizza Hut and Subway are. The only problem was, when we decided that it was time to embark on the journey home, I took a wrong turn. Now I know some of you are saying "How hard can it be to get back to Cork city from Mallow?" Its simple really. I took a wrong turn and ended up on the Dairygold raceway. It wasnt long though, before I realised I was on the right road to Cork, but I might never see Shandon again. 2 Dairygold trucks had the foot to the floor, nearly wiping me and some other hapless motorists off the road. All in a 50kmh zone. I dont know whether they had a bet on, their dinner was getting cold or if they had left the emersion on (inspired joke from Desmod Bishop). Dont trucks have limiters? Either way, Im not sure who won the race, but the milk they were carrying would have been turned into a nice buttery like substance.
On Saturday afternoon I took a trip to Mallow, with the loved one. After wandering around I have to say I was suitably impressed. Parts of Mallow have been completely redeveloped, in particular where the Pizza Hut and Subway are. The only problem was, when we decided that it was time to embark on the journey home, I took a wrong turn. Now I know some of you are saying "How hard can it be to get back to Cork city from Mallow?" Its simple really. I took a wrong turn and ended up on the Dairygold raceway. It wasnt long though, before I realised I was on the right road to Cork, but I might never see Shandon again. 2 Dairygold trucks had the foot to the floor, nearly wiping me and some other hapless motorists off the road. All in a 50kmh zone. I dont know whether they had a bet on, their dinner was getting cold or if they had left the emersion on (inspired joke from Desmod Bishop). Dont trucks have limiters? Either way, Im not sure who won the race, but the milk they were carrying would have been turned into a nice buttery like substance.
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