After a long week off (believe me it was long) I came back on air last night. What a relief. It beats doing the house work anyway!




Late N Live Top 5 things I done over my holidays (8/8/05)

5 – Snuck back into the station in the middle of the night to steal coffee and bog roll

4 – Rang RTE and thanked them for putting my tv licence money to good use

3 – Stopped wearing pants

2 – Shot a photographer at a party hosted by Britney Spears

1 – Like everyone else, Paris Hilton

At this point hes fucked off to lunch (Ed)

Right, back from lunch and what a shit lunch it was too. Well hold on, maybe shit is too strong a word. I do like to eat out (ladies take note) from time to time and today we decided to go off for a lunch. Burger didnt taste like beef to me, more like deep fried pony. Of course deep fried pony is a delicacy in some countries....isnt it? With a nice side of an army of ants and crying bloody kids, it was a wonderful dining experience. Seriously though, I can appreciate parents have to go out for lunch from time to time and bring the little carpet crawlers, but for christs sake...shut them up. Or there should be a special section for them or something. So now thats my (un)interesting tale for today.

So thats it for today kids, but now a special treat. The following may or may not be used later on in the show

I read today that Michael Jackson flew a Ferrari to Bahrain. I know a lot of you listeing think hes crazy but cmon, if the guy can fly a Ferrari out to Bahrain give him so credit. I mean howd he get the wings on?

Chances are its the funniest thing Ive written all year, so no doubt it will make an appearance!

Holidaze are over

Well the sun is shining, and that can mean only one thing. No, its not a spell of good weather. No it doesnt mean time to lie out in the garden with yer tits ahoy. Its time for the outdoor shower system I invented with a watering can and a can of Lynx. Oh yeah, tis back to work time too. I wake this morning at 6am, 7am, 8am, 9am (you get the picture) and at 10am I decide to crawl out of bed. Being the lazy hulk that I am, I think about asking one of the neighbours to run up to the shop for a breakfast roll...but the bastards are on holidays. So I do it myself, and man is it disgusting. Its so disgusting that I eat all of it.

Finally at around 11am I open up the much loved Microsoft product, Word. 12pm comes, and nothing is written or even typed. My head hurts and my copy of Sin City hasnt arrived. By 2pm we're done..kind of. I have a skit to record when I get in, put together a show reel, and Vince is stepping into the other fellas shoes for the week so Ill be offering him my hand in assistance.......NO, not like that..you bloody perverts.

I am looking forward to getting back on the air tonight as some people have said to me that they missed my amazing interview skills and stupendous humour. Part of what you have read may well be a lie.

Anyway, tis now time for lunch and a round of golf...on the psp. Then Ill be trawling around the net for other interesting tidbits, that will be of interest to my audience.

So, talk to y'all at 9pm!!!!

Well the highlight of this week off so far has been winning 100 squids on a roulette wheel online. The cheque arrived and was lodged this morning faster than Jude Law getting caught on top of another nanny.

What a night I had in the bedroom last night. 2 hours I was at it, if not more. Balls all over the place, and no matter how hard I tried...I still couldnt get a hole in one. That Hot Shots golf is pretty good alright.

I always enjoy getting back on the air after a break. Theres a great feeling of refreshment. I think! Back to writing Top 5s and my ever so "humorous" monologues as well. I do stress the word humourous!!

New ratings are out near the end of August, so Im waiting with great anticapation. Cork Talks Star Wars will be going in for the irish radio oscars and probably the show as well...but more on that as I get it.

Anyway for those of you who have read these miserable lines of shit text, thanks....!

Holidaze clearing now

Well the oul holiers are almost done. Although as someone said to me today, "Stop your fucking moaning, you have another four days left". Tis true ya know. So Vic, tell us how the holidaze have been so far.

Well today for example we got the stairs carpeted as well as the landing. My copy of Hot Shots Golf has been teeded off on my PSP, so yes its really riveting shit altogether. Those of you who felt I was going off on some drunken binge with hookers and a donkey in some far flung part of Mexico, well no doubt, now, be feeling very, very, disappointed.

I feel I must address the Vibes And Scribes Wrestler or the ex-wrestler (whatever). May I just say, Sir, many the night you made me laugh with your texts to the show. With that, I say...Thank you. I yearn for the day to see a piledriver off the stairs in V&S. To everybody else thats left comments, Thank you too. God Im sounding very emotional today, for some reason. Maybe its because theres carpet under me feet.

So thats it kids, thanks for reading. Ill be here tomorrow again, no doubt. Filling you up with tales of hookers, drunkeness and donkeys...hang on theres only one donkey......Sorry!

Anyways..Ill leave you all with a picture I spotted today....

Holidaze Day 2

Yes Im still alive and all that jazz. I feel that for once I got value for time yesterday. Got alot done ie went on a cleaning spree around the house, had some serious Fifa action on the Xbox at 1 in the morning which was precedeed by some breasts in buns.

I also managed to take a quick paddle down in Garryvoe. Tis the rock n roll lifestyle all right. So nathing else going on...........no............................nathing!

Holidaze

Before I get going, Ive noticed a few comments or 3 on the blog. If enough of you let me know that you want a forum then Ill get on the case. If not, feck it!

Anyways, holiday time is here again. No sunshine trips for me. Nah, just going to take it easy and to be honest Im only using up holiday time anyway. After endless of hours of fucking around I finally updated my PSP and as you've seen from a previous post, its online. As of tonight, Ive finished Ridge Racers. Break out the bloody champagne! Summer, well its officially Autumn in a few hours, always brings out the crazyiness in drinks companies. Fanta Green? 7-UP Ice, I shit you not. The 7-UP Ice wasnt bad, but as for the concoction that made up Fanta Green (Lemon, Apple and Lime) that run through me faster than Ben Johnsons steriod breaking world record. Im a sucker for trying these new things...and sure what harm.....like!

Im going to head off the see Charlie and The Chocoalte factory later on and then home to bed....possibly. Ill begin the rock n roll holiday lifestyle on Monday. Hang on, thats a bank holiday. Best wait till Tuesday then.

Although I will have to hit the work place tomorrow for a weeeeeee while to get some bits done. Other than that its plain sailing of doing absolutely nothing.

I arrived in the Brog Thursday night post show, and for the first time ever I was absolutely shattered and more or less went in to turn. Post Brog visit called for a breast in a bun and to be honest it tasted like some body blew their load in it, or maybe twas the mircowaving when I came home.

I dont know if there were any of the readers there, but I announced the screening of The Perfect Catch on Thursday @ Mahon Point. All went well, not as full as I thought it would be. It rained packets of sweets for a good 4 minutes, Im sure I took someones eye out. So thats it, time to put on my cinema going clothes!!!!!!!!!

Hey all.Just updating through my psp for the heck of it.

The weekend of dog sitting and shitting is nearly over..thank god. Anyone want to clean up dog shit for a day. Im really intolerant these days. All I can hear in the background is bark, bark, bark, fuckin bark. Im a grumpy so and so.

Im up early and the monologue flows like a laxative, as does the top 5. Its a good day. For those of you that might have missed it, theres a brand new movie coming to Cork cinemas in August. Its called The Fantastic Whore. I played the trailer last night, and will more than likely lash it out again tonight..so be warned. Im still reeling at how bad The Fantastic Four movie was. Roll on Wonka this weekend. I know it was promised last week but some of the newer bits for the show should hopefully, be on air this week. More than likely the first one to kick things off will be "Just Junk, or is it?" where I'll be taking a look at Ebay in the only way that I can. As well as that we have a nice little "slew" of high profilers who will hopefully be in the show this week as well. Im toying with the idea of hosting audio on the site as well. If theres enough people interested, maybe I will.

Some of you (alright, probably none of you) will remember I bought a PSP a while back. Well its being gathering dust for the last month or so. Its been dusted down over the weekend and is keeping me off the streets for a while. It might have something to do with the fact that from Wednesday, I can update the thing to go online wirelessly.

From Sunday on Im going to be on a weeks holidays and Im going to be doing absolutely nathin!

Slippery Orange Ballcock

Slippery Orange Ballcock

Fantasic Sore

Went off to see a Late show of The Fantastic Four last night. Being one of the oldest Marvel franchises, I was expecting something decent. The cast were ok, but god almighty who wrote this. It was absolutely shocking. There are 2 set pieces, the bridge scene and at the end. The rest of it is spent with the four moaning about why they're like the way they are and trying to reverse the process.

The special effects at times leave alot to be desired at times. Check the space scenes, in particular where the shuttle is docking. I was doing that kinda thing back in my Lightwave 3D days. Although....The Thing; does look quite good, and thats prostetics. When you look at Spiderman, Hellboy, Sin City, Batman Begins and even the Hulk (to a lesser extent) you ask yourself "How did they release this thing?".

Im sorry, Id love to say this is worth your while, but its not. Even the most ardent Fantastic Four fans will be disappointed at this! At least me drink was cold and my ice cream was frozen

2/10

Other than that, Im going to be a Daddy.......................
...........................................................kinda of. One of my catfish have been doing some baby making things and has laid eggs. Chances are they wont survive, but we'll wait and see. I picked up a copy of Hostage yesterday and looking at the weather today, its going to be a movie day. Dont forget if theres any of you going to the Red FM screening in Mahon Point on the 27th, Im going to be introducing it.

We're going to be minding the in laws dog again this weekend, so that should be a bag of cats...........
Right, Im off for an oul bit of Pezo pan and some more pointless surfing!!!!